Life, as if

Official Announcement:

2009-04-06T14:38:00.004+02:00

480 posts so far.
More than 4 years.
I am kind of over it...
No... It is not like I have nothing to say.
I do.
But I have other things to do lately and with all my love for my readers... I just cannot keep writing here. For now :)

Will keep you all posted via email!
And who knows... maybe one day... sooner, later... in the future, I will come back!

And happy spring everyone!

I know...

2009-02-22T20:35:00.002+01:00

I am not really here lately.
I have nothing to say.
"I hate the weather in Germany" is not good enough topic for a post anymore.

I was home for 3 weeks, experienced a catastrophe of elections, Israel is moving to the wrong direction for me. The right one. I am scared and not in peace with the world currently.

I read a few good books, two of them on India, (White Tiger and The Inheritance of Loss) they made me wanna leave it all, life, work, relationship, money, the need for money, the society, just leave it all and go there.

But I know, deep down inside, that India would make me miserable.
Because I take what I see straight into the heart and there, in the center of human misery, will be no place to run.

My heart will grow into the size of India and will explode to million little colorful pieces.

Mean time I keep myself busy with my collection.

My reality

2009-01-16T21:35:00.002+01:00

I was always known to be sensitive. I wrote about it few times, how I take things hard, and personally, how what I read on papers, books, or see on TV get straight into my heart and makes me cry.

Today was overwhelming. I am home for a few days now, sick, as was mentioned in the last post. Fever is almost gone but general weakness is still here. I decided to make a soup and left the house for the supermarket, arrived home and started cooking. I moved my laptop to the kitchen and went online in order to watch the news. Israel is a news empire, not just making news, but also broadcasting them, they are on all the time. I saw my favorite current affairs show and then came the news.

A 7^th years old boy was severely injured from a Hamas rocket. His mom, crying, praying.

And then, a young soldier, who his family was one of the evacuated families from the Gaza area 2 years ago, was hurt last week. He is a solider. His parents are strong and angry; they have a full stomach on the government.

Then came the last straw for me. An Arab doctor who usually works in Israel. He is living in Gaza, being interviewed to the Israel TV about the events all time. Today the IDF, the Israeli army, bombed his house. Why? We don’t know. The IDF usually says it because rockets were shot from there. I say BULLSHIT. We killed 3 of his little girls. 2 of his other kids are hospitalized in a sever condition. He was crying on TV, asking none-stop for someone to explain to him why was his house bombed. No reply.

We kill little girls. So they are, therefore we are not different from them.

I could not stop crying, my heart was aching from the pain.

How is this reality a normal thing?

We are so fucked.

And then, a satire comic show, making fun about the war, about the Arabs, about the Israelis in the shelters.

Unbelievable.

Not going to the Pro-Israel demo tomorrow, I just cannot.

Guess what...

2009-01-15T13:15:00.002+01:00

I am sick again...

Came back OK from a wonderful weekend in Berlin just to collapse on Tuesday. Since then I am in bed, feverish with horrible body aches.

Enough, don't you think?
I was sick three times in the past two month, not including my back and heel problems.
Blah.

Going home next week, I am hoping that the local weather and food and hours in the sun on the beach will do me good.

On the other hand, the war will make me a very unhappy person, I tend to get even more sensitive when I am there.

2009-01-04T18:00:00.002+01:00

Because

War ist Scheiße

People of the Book

2008-12-29T20:47:00.006+01:00

With a war taking place in my country, again, with tears coming down mothers' eyes, again, with so much hatred, that goes back so many years... with all that in my head I encountered a wonderful story:

When we were shopping for XMAS presents at the bookstore, I came across this book.

The summary on the back of "People of the Book" by Geraldine Brooks made it clear that this is a book for me. I am already 1/3 way through, it is full with cliches and written sometimes in a shallow way (no character has the chance of actually being developed).

However, the topic of this semi-fiction book is the Sarajevo Haggadah, a ancient Hebrew manuscript from supposedly 1350 Barcelona. This little book witnessed some extraordinary events, one of them is being the main object that the Nazis were looking for as soon as they entered Sarajevo in 1942. The chief librarian of the Bosnian National Museum, a Muslim named Korkut, saved it, risking his on life. The same Muslim also save a young Jewish girl, Mira Papo her name.

To make the long story short, years after the war, Mira Papo saved Korkut's granddaughter, when the Serbs were ethnically cleaning Sarajevo.

Hope is not a bad thing, hope might be naive and might be childish, but I do not care, I rather live with hope than with hatred.

For more details:

"People of the Book" from Geraldine Brooks (hey, she won a Pulitzer in 2006!)
The Haggadah on Wiki
An article about the amazing Korkut story

(image taken from here)

My XMAS present

2008-12-28T17:04:00.004+01:00

One of them...
Ready to burn lots of hours at the GYM in 2009...

:)

On being sick again...

2008-12-15T16:21:00.005+01:00

Dear reader, what can I say?

I am sick again.

We had a wonderful XMAS party from work on Friday. Food was great (the antipasti side of the table was as big as the meat side and I was more than happy to eat 4 different kind of mushrooms with a huge salad and dry tomatoes with cheese), we drank some wine, danced a lot (although the D.J sucked) and overall was a pleasant nice evening. All events for next year are canceled due the economic situation, so I guess we were trying to make the most out of this kind of last party.

On Saturday, since my hangover was almost not there (did not drink that much) I decided to go to a Yoga special session. The teacher my sport sister and I were expecting, did not show up (%&*#$%), instead we got this weirdo who said the special was canceled and we would have Hatha Yoga for an hour and a half. OK... So we did. Then I stayed for another hour of my regular Hatha Yoga and after 2.5 hours my body was dead.

Dead as in "you cannot stretch me anymore, you cannot try standing on your head anymore, PLZ!"). I came home and felt bit tired.

After an hour I already had fever and my throat was developing a serious infection. I had a nightmare of a night (could not really sleep) and needless to say that my Sunday was fucked as well. I had plans with Nirit from Berlin, which I was looking forward to meet, all was canceled and I spent the day crying and shivering in bed, sneezing and feeling like a rag.

Today I overslept, did not make it to work and of course, did not make it to the doctor. Na gut, at least the January issue of Oprah is here to save me (because reading Hemingway when you're sick is almost impossible).

When you are sick people tend to give you some advices that you wish you’d never heard.
I know it is my fault that my immune system is weak because I do not eat meat.

I know I should dress better and drink ginger in hot water or swallow garlic or let an onion melt into honey and drink it all. I know I need Orange Juice and a lot and I know TEA is the best thing in the world, also, hot showers will bring the fever down and...

Got the point?

I am thankful for all these advices but right now all I want to do is eat simple vegetable broth soup with Shkedei Marak.

Shkedei Marak from WIKI:

Shkedei Marak (Hebrew: שקדי מרק‎) aka Soup Almonds, are mini crisp croutons which are added to soup manufactured by the Osem corporation in Israel. The so called "Almonds" are not strictly croutons in the sense that they are purpose-made from scratch using flour and palm oil and shaped as small yellow squares.

Last weekend, on Sunday, I had the pleasure of attending a David Grossman event here in Hamburg. Was wonderful, he is as modest and smart and interesting as I thought he would be. He also signed my book (well, his book that I have); was truly a nice event.

In less than two weeks, XMAS is here again; so far my perpetrations are zero. No presents, cards or any other things. M is, as always, in the rebellious mode of "I am not doing XMAS shopping" and again I will need to organize it all alone.

The funny thing is that I could not care less about this holiday.
First because it is a holiday and second because it is not my holiday.
Double "could not care less".

Next Sunday is the first Hanukah candle and since my Hebrew group twisted my arm (they asked "are we going to go?"), we might join the first candle lightning in the city. If I am doing any holiday things I rather do something I did as a kid (see photo attached).

This is I, in the middle, lightning a candle in a Hanukah party in my Kindergarten.
Alon, is on the right side. I am wearing my Kickers shoes and my cool corduroy pants.

1980? 1981?

I had other things to say but I cannot remember them right now…

Going home soon... Jan 22^nd!

William Salcer - 2 Years

2008-12-09T14:26:00.003+01:00

Two years ago I wrote the following post.
It was immediately after I found, late, that William Salcer died.
I loved this man very much, and I was lucky to have him in my life, even though is was a short period. I spoke with his wife Katie last week, and as always, promised her that I will never ever forget about William and her.

In December 6th it was two years since William died, I decided to re write my English post in Hebrew.

בדיוק סיימתי את התואר השני ומכיוון שלא מצאתי עבודה בתחום המאוד לא אטרקטיבי שלי נאלצתי למלצר למחייתי. מסעדה ותיקה ונעימה בסוהו, בעלים שהתייחסו לעובדים כמו אל משפחה, אוכל נהדר וקהל לקוחות נוח, מנומס ונעים ברוב המקרים.

ערב אחד מנומנם שומם ואיטי במיוחד נכנס זוג מבוגר והתיישב באיזור שלי. הבעל בחליפה, יפה תואר ואצילי, האישה לבושה כאילו יצאה מאיזה ז'ורנל אופנה עכשיווי, כובע אלגנטי לראשה. אמריקאים ללא ספק, אבל מה זה המבטא הקל והעדין שליווה את השיחה שלהם איתי? ניסיתי לחשוב ולנסות למקם את המבטא אבל לא הצלחתי. בסוף האחרונה ניגשתי אליהם, חייכתי, ושאלתי מאיפה הם. מניו יורק כמובן ענה לי הבעל, כן, על זה אין עוררין, אבל מאיפה המקור? אני מנסה לזהות את המבטא ולא מצליחה. צ'כוסלובקיה הוא ענה בלי הרבה רצון, כמו פולט את המילה בכוח.

חיכיתי לשמוע את השם הזה. התיזה לתואר השני שלי עסקה בצ'כוסלובקיה ובאחד ממנהיגיה היותר מפורסמים, ואצלאב האוול, את השנה האחרונה באוניברסיטה בילתי בינות ערימות ספרים שעסקו בהיסטוריה של המדינה וראיתי את הזוג מחייך כאשר נסחפתי בהתלהבות המאוד אופיינית לי כאשר זה היה הנושא. אנחנו כאן כבר הרבה שנים אמר הבעל, צ'כוסלובקיה כבר לא קיימת ולנו יש זכרונות רעים משם.

החלפנו טלפונים, הבטחתי להתקשר.

עברה כמעט חצי שנה, הזמן טס אתם יודעים ומצאתי את עצמי בביקור בארץ ורק כאשר חזרתי לניו יורק הרמתי טלפון.

קבענו להפגש לארוחת צהריים, הגעתי אליהם לדירה מהודרת באחד מהאיזורים הנחשבים של העיר. שתינו קפה, דיברנו, שמעתי על ההשרדות, על איך הבעל ששרד את הגיהנום הכי קשה בשואה (מאטהוזן) ניצל והלך לחפש את אחותו. הוא מצא אותה באושוויץ ושם גם מצא את אישתו לעתיד. לא פלא שהקשר והאהבה בינהם כזו חזקה חשבתי לעצמי. הם הצילו אחד את השני אחרי שהצליחו לשרוד את הגיהנום. שמעתי על העלייה לישראל, על ההקמה של מפעל התעשייה הראשון, ראיתי תמונות בשחור לבן עם חברי כנסת מקום המדינה, שמעתי סיפורים על עשייה ותרומה, על מעבר לארה"ב, על התפתחות תעשייתית. שמעתי על בני משפחה אוהבים, על נכדים ומורשת. הענקתי לבעל במתנה את התיזה שלי, לפחות מישהו מלבד הפרופסור שלי יקרא אותה. והוא אכן קרא אותה והתקשר לומר כמה הוא נהנה לקרוא אותה וכמה היא כתובה יפה... איזה אושר, מישהו מצא את העבודה שלי טובה ומעניינית וזה לא מישהו שצריך לתת לה ציון!

הזוג הזה הפך לנדבך חשוב בחיי. היינו נפגשים מידי פעם, הם תמיד לקחו אותי לאכול במקום כלשהו, תמיד דאגו לעתיד שלי, מה אני אעשה עכשיו? אם אני נרשמת לדוקטורט, מה אעשה אם לא אתקבל?

ואז פגשתי את הגרמני שלי.

איך אני מספרת להם שהתאהבתי בגרמני? בהתחלה זה לא היה בכלל אישיו כי לא חשבתי שהגרמני יהפוך לחלק חשוב ומרכזי בחיי, אבל האהבה לא הניחה ומצאתי את עצמי מספרת לאישה איך הכרתי בחור מקסים וחכם. היה לי קשה לומר את זה, לא רציתי לראות אכזבה על פניה, לא רציתי שתכעס עליי, לא רציתי לאכזב אותם בצורה כלשהיא. הוא גרמני אמרתי.

לא נשמעה מילה. לא ביקורת, לא אכזבה, לא כעס, אף לא מילה בנושא. איך יכולתי לעשות את זה חשבתי לעצמי? הסיוט הגדול של חייהם נגרם על ידי העם של האהבה החדשה שלי, והנה אני יושבת כאן ומשקשקת על בחור מקסים, זה שהוא מקסים לא ימחוק לה את המספר מהיד...

נשארנו בקשר טוב ואז החלטתי לחזור לארץ. נפגשנו לארוחה אחרונה, יש לי תמונות של שניהם, אוהבים ומחייכים. וחזרתי לארץ, הבטחתי לעצמי להתקשר מידי פעם ואכן, התקשרתי מידי חודש, ואף שלחתי אי מיילים לבעל שלמרות גילו היה מעודכן בכל מה שקשור לאינטרנט. אחרי כמה חודשים הבעל שלח לי "ספר" שכתבו על חייהם, הבן שלהם מימן כתיבה על פי קורות החיים שלהם. התחלתי לקרוא אותו, יש מקום לשיפור מבחינת הכתיבה חשבתי לעצמי, אולי יום אחד אשכתב אותו? התקשרתי לבעל, עצובה מהסיפור (קראתי את חלקו), הא, שטויות הוא אמר לי בביטול, אין מה להיות עצובים, זה היה ממזמן!

כשהחלטתי לעבור לגרמניה סיפרתי להם. אני לא יודעת מה הם חשבו אבל אני מקווה שהם לפחות ניסו להבין אותי. ומגרמניה לא יצא לי להתקשר. עברה עלי תקופה של הסתגלות, לא היה לי זמן, לא כתבתי כל כך הרבה אי מיילים, לא חשבתי על מה שנשאר מאחור.

בינואר של אותה שנה, כחצי שנה לאחר שהגעתי לגרמניה, ישבתי בספרייה של האוניברסיטה, מנסה ללמוד אבל לא מצליחה. גוגל היא המצאה נהדרת. גיגלתי את השם של הבעל, בכל זאת על האי מייל האחרון אני זוכרת שהוא לא ענה.

התוצאות של גוגל החשיכו את עייני, דמעות זלגו ללא הפסקה והרגשתי שאני לא יכולה לנשום. מסתבר שהבעל נפטר מלוקימיה כחודש לפני שהחלטתי לגגל אותו.

לא ידעתי בכלל שהייתה לו לוקימיה. הוא היה חזק וחסון ונראה בריא, צלול וזקוף עם חיוך מקסים.

ממשיכה לבכות לבדי בספרייה, מתעלמת מכל האנשים סביבי, איזו טיפשה הייתי לא לשמור על קשר יותר רציף. והלב דופק שאני מגיעה הבייתה, התקשרתי לאישה אבל לא הייתה תשובה. אין מענה. רק שלא קרה לה משהו חשבתי לעצמי, התלות שלה בו (ולהפך) הייתה מוחלטת, הוא לקח אותה מאושוויץ, היא הייתה לצידו שנים על גבי שנים, מה היא עושה בלעדיו? ואין תשובה.

כתבתי על כך בבלוג הזה לפני קרוב לשנתיים. בנתיים הבחורה שכתבה עליהם את הספר כנראה גיגלה את שם הבעל ומצאה את הפוסט שלי, היא השאירה תגובה ואמרה שהאישה מחכה לשמוע ממני.

מאז חידשתי את הקשר עם האישה. אני מתקשרת אליה לפחות פעם בחודש, תמיד מאכזבת אותה באומרי שאני לא בניו יורק... עדין לא. בקרוב.

For William Salcer
1924-2006

Cry

2008-11-29T18:45:00.003+01:00

I saw this image at the Washington Post's Day In Photos.
It is from Getty Images and I would probably can get my ass sued for posting it here but I don't care, I think we should all see the photo, understand the situation and cry with this woman.
I did.

Taken from the capture in the Washington Post:

Nov. 26: A woman cries as she holds on to what is left of her portion of split peas after she was mobbed by a crowd near a camp for Internally Displaced People (IDP) during a food aid distribution in Kibati.

Roberto Schmidt-AFP/Getty Images

כ"ט בנובמבר

2008-11-29T15:00:00.004+01:00

Today, in 1947, the UN decided to end the British mandate over Palestine and to create two separate countries, one for the Jews one for the Palestinians.

My dad was 9, I never really asked him what he remembers from that special night where Jews world wide cried in relief and hope.

Reading Amos Oz's novel "Tale of Love and Darkness" I encountered the most beautiful description of that historical moment as experienced by Oz. Funny thing, the people who wrote the Wikipedia item on that date thoguht the same.

Sorry, only in Hebrew:

Waiting for the results:

כל ההמון הגדול הזה כמו התאבן שם בדומיית לילה מפחידה, כאילו אינם בני אדם אמיתיים כי אם מאות צלליות כהות מצוירות על פני יריעת החושך המהבהב. כאילו מתו כולם בעמידה. לא דיבור לא שיעול ולא מדרך נעל. יתוש לא זמזם שם.

33 countries voted for the resolution, 10 were against: Iran, Afghanistan, India, Greece, Lebanon, Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Cuba, Turkey and Yemen. 10 countries refused to take part in the voting and one country was absent (Thailand, back then, Siam).

Oz on the happiness that came to life once the results were clear:

וכעבור רגע שוב הייתי על כתפי אבא, והוא, אבי, המשכיל מאוד, המנומס, עמד שם וצעק בכל קולו, לא מילים, לא משחקי מילים, לא ססמאות ציוניות ולא קריאת גיל כי אם צעקה ארוכה עירומה כמו לפני שהמציאו את המילים...אבי לא שתק אלא נתן את כל קולו בצעקתו הארוכה עד קצת קיבול ריאותיו אאאאההה וכשאזל לו האוויר שאף שוב, כטובע, והמשיך וצעק האיש הזה שרצה להיות פרופסור דגול וגם ראוי היה ועכשיו הוא היה כולו רק אאאאההה...

ונפתחו הבארים בכל הערים ועד אור הבוקר חילקו חינם משקאות קלים וממתקים ודברי מאפה וגם משקאות חריפים, ומיד ליד ומפה לפה עברו בקבוקי המיץ והבירה והיין, וזרים התחבקו ברחובות ונישקו זה את זה בדמעות, ושוטרים אנגלים המומים נגררו גם הם אל מעגלות המחול ורוככו בפחיות של בירה ובליקרים, ועל שיריונות הצבא הבריטי טיפסו חוגגים משלוהבים ונוססו עליהם את דגלי המדינה שעדין לא קמה.

The end of this event, or the ongoing reaction to this event, was the war of independent and every other war that we were part of since 1947.

Mumbai

2008-11-28T19:39:00.002+01:00

Attacks again.

India, the nation of Gandhi's legacy.

With hundreds of minorities, with respect for ethnic groups (unless you are untouchable), with millions of colors and smells and sights, and languages.

What pops to my head is this book that I had to write a book review about for my methodology class at CCNY. Remembering Partition. I loved reading this book, first because I knew almost nothing about the historical events of India and Pakistan. The book deals with memory of painful events and the way people chose to remember things. The pattern of Great Britain running away from colonies or other place she was responsible for is obvious, the British run away, leaving India to bleed, just like they did in Israel (with tones of differences between the cases but with some disturbing similerties).

Islamic Jihad is something we can only fight as one concrete block of human beings against this evil ideology in which death is the end.
We need to define it, we need to develop a working plan, we need to have zero tolerance, and we need to fight it like there is no tomorrow, we need to fight it like our own lives are dependent on this fight.
Because they are.

Crying for India.

No spell check took place in the following post...

2008-11-25T15:54:00.004+01:00

Thank you all for asking and writing... I feel much better with my neck, last week, on Monday, I went to the orthopedist again and he cracked me again and since then all is well. OK! All is well with my neck... but... on Wednesday I hurt my foot somehow. Since then I have this weird annoying pain inside my heel and I kept thinking it will get better. Guess what? it didn't. Had to go to the orthopedist again to find out I have a condition by the name of Plantar Fasciitis (דורבן בעברית), it is annoying!!! I need to take medication and cannot do too much sports (which is already a reason for depression).

I Googled this Planter whatever and read that old obese people are suffering from it (because they are over weight) OR, when young people get it, it is because they over worked out themselves. Oh man, what can I say to that? I gave my self a Planter whatever because I worked out too much? I wish my fat will hear about me working out too much. So, for now, no more cardio and step aerobic. Yes more Yoga, Pilates and Nia.

It is funny that things always come together. In the last two weeks I was at the doctors for 5 times. Blah.

I am going to do some Hebrew soon and tomorrow my beginners are starting again, looking forward to this group, they are funny and fun to be with. I am still preparing things for them, it would be hard asking them to buy a book (that they will have to order from Israel and will cost a lot), so I type, print and make photos copies.

I am listening to the Israeli radio. 2 Israelis were arrested in Bangkok and sentenced to death for possessing 23,000 ecstasy pills. I am about to get sick hearing that the foreign minister is trying to get them life sentences and other people who are screaming OY OY OY. 23,000 pills. There is a law in Thailand (well, I know Thailand is not that stable lately but they are trying to fight drugs better than Israel!) and I cannot believe some advocates for help for these two assholes who had 23,000 pills.

Israel can drive me nuts sometimes. I cannot understand what other people are thinking or doing even if I try really hard.

Yesterday some of my friends and I went to see “Waltz With Bashir”. An Israeli animated movie that received amazing acclaims and a big success. The movie deals, in a semi documentary way, with the Lebanon war of 1982, the point of view is that of the soldiers who were part of the first invasion. Lebanon is alike a bleeding wound in the heart of Israel. Like every war, it was useless; we lost hundreds and hundreds (and my Nona’s brother, Rico, among them). One of the biggest problem was that this war lasted too long, till 2000, till we left, not looking back in.

That’s how it ended:

“The UN Secretary-General had concluded that, as of 16 June 2000, Israel had withdrawn its forces from Lebanon in accordance with UN Security Council Resolution 425 of 1978, bringing closure to the 1982 invasion as far as the UN was concerned”

18 bloody years that ended like that and re started in 2006 again.

Again I am swimming away from the point of this paragraph.

No wonder I cannot write a PhD, it will deal with 4,867,673,636,385,969 things…

Anyway, the movie was really good. Hard and sad and touching. All I want to make sure is that my friends know that the Israeli army did not take any part in the Sabra and Shatila massacre. Yes. They were there, outside the refugee camps, but they did nothing, which is what we should be sorry for, till the end of time. The Israeli army stood outside, doing nothing while the Christians Flangists were revenging the death of their leader, Bashir Gemayel (hence, Waltz with Bashir).

Was heavy.

Rumors are saying the movie is nominee for an academy award.

Oh Ya. Go see it if you can.

And please tell them all we did not take part in the massacre.

How can I take something that happened 26 years ago so personal?

Can anyone teach me how to care less?

I finished a waste of a book that I am asking you all not to waste time on:

Alexander Cipher by Will Adams. OK, the guy did some research but he is not such a good writer and I am guessing the translation into Hebrew ruined it even more and what I got was a low level Indiana Jones trying to be smart. And you know he was trying to be smart because most of the conversations in the book, between the marine archeologist and the philologist were like small lectures trying to be cool with some slang and modern terminology. Shortly, not such a good book.... Took me less then 5 hours to read it so it is not like I wasted too much time on it (unlike The Plot Against America that KILLED ME, why Philip Roth? WHY?).

And from the disappointing book to something I was planning on reading for a long time and only in my last visit home I took it from Pepsa. I only read 50 pages but I feel this is the book I wished I were writing, so much magic and interest and love. The Time Traveler’s Wife from Audrey Niffenegger. It is about a man who can travel in time, it is not under his control and he finds himself appearing in different phases in time, always naked and hungry. One day he meets a woman who tells him she is his future wife. How does she know? Because he came back in time when she was a kid and they met regularly since she was 6. The problem is that the man did not do these specific travels yet so he doesn't know her. Sound complicating? it is, but that's the magic of the book. Will try writing more about it once I am done.

Future plans: M. parents are coming for a short visit this weekend to bring us the Advantkalander (pictures later), the weekend after we will be going to a family meeting that I am very excited about 'cause I was told there are many many dogs... XMAS week will be at M. parents, always fun and spoiling, and then, the day after New Year's we will head north to party with the grandma on her 81th birthday.

And I am cooking the night before XMAS. Just like I did in the past two years, a tradition if you like. I need ideas... cool fresh big dinner with no dead animals. May, I need you for cookies or cake :)

Oh, and did I ever mention that out of my 230 weekly visitors, 226 are arriving here accidentally because of this post? They are looking for Akita images. Damn, it is insulting.

Ta ta for now!

2008-11-15T11:26:00.002+01:00

Still home with neck problems. Went to the doctor on Thursday, they put me on a special bed with water and strong flows which was really good. Then the doctor twisted my neck and my spine so my body made the following noises: knack knack knack knack knack knack knack knack.

Unfortunately the treatment did not help and since Thursday (well, since Wednesday afternoon) I am home, bored, eating, cannot moving, not happy. I cannot just not do things. Cannot.

I have nothing important to say, can recommend Dido's new CD, which I was waiting for for a long time "Safe Trip Home", I did need a few hearings to get used to it, it is a wonderful album.

I had a dream that the Jordanian are attacking Eilat with army vessels and I am the first to notice it, so I called the police but they put me on hold and I could not tell them that we are under attack. I need to find the reason I keep deaming about water all the time. Geeee I forgot the conjuguation os the verb FIND or is it just me?

I found
I find
I will find.

I remember my 8th grade English teacher.
Atara. She was a wonderful teacher and insisited on us memorizing the conjuguation of verbs. Every week, lots of them.

Facebook Issues;
Today, thanks to Facebook, I found out that my first love got married. Mazal Tov :)
Havne't seen him for ages, he lives in NYC now, but it is weird to found things like that online.
I also found out that one of my first boyfriends is now an ultraorthodox Jew, living in the U.S and although he added me to his list he wrote me that he could not talk to me.
Mmmm... OK...
Religion makes so much sense

And here is something that I love a lot:

First we will take Jerusalem...

2008-11-12T09:18:00.005+01:00

Yesterday, the municipal elections took place in Israel.
Not a big deal in most of the times, mayors come and go, in some places they perform excellent for the benefit of their city, in some they are petty politicians who are attracted to money and power and corruption just like most politicians in Israel (please note, I wrote MOST).

The biggest arena was Jerusalem.

I am currently reading the next book, it is not a good academic book, but it is a book about a topic I am currently interested in so I guess it would be good to start somewhere. I think this book showed me for real what is the meaning of critical reading, sessions over sessions and book reviews over book reviews were not as useful as reading one not so goodly written book. What I must make clear is that it is one of a kind in a subject that was not well searched. The authors, so I read right now, were accused of Antisemitism and other famous titles, probably because they wrote and expressed their ideas and feelings about a topic that is kind of a taboo in the Israeli/Jewish society. Nevertheless, I am critically reading the book and trying to get a new direction to some new ideas. And thank you Professor Renique from CCNY :)

However, this is not what I was trying to say! The book, from 1999, meaning, old, is dealing with the fundamentalists Jews. This group has extremely radical elements, messianic, corrupted, dangerous and sometime criminals elements that for me represent an enormous threat to Israel. I think I expressed my dissatisfaction with the religious fanaticism that is taking over Israel enough times. Most of the times I hear, from secular people of course, that there is nothing we can do about it, nothing we can do to fight the money sucking machine, the blackmailing, the corruptions, the forcing of habits, the narrow minds, the primitive thoughts - all, in the name, of course, of God.

Give me a break.

Shortly, and these are the happy news, Jerusalem voted for a new secular mayor. His name is Nir Barkat, he is young, secular and besides that I have no idea about him. I know for sure that I rather have this "no one" than having a fanatic Haredi. The news are happy because Jerusalem is known for the large communities of religious Jews, sometimes they behave like they own the city, but yesterday, oh man, yesterday, the secular Jerusalemites, showed these fanatics that when it comes to fight for their lives, they can.

And all I could think of is: if we can do it in Jerusalem, we can do it anywhere.
It is possible.

(Although some interpretations claim that the Haredi candidate lost these elections because he did not obey a certain Rabbi who kind of excommunicated him and therefore brought a secular victory... bring it on...)

And now to the part you’ve been waiting for the whole day:

Dorian Gray’s Daily Complaint:

I woke up with a stiff neck and a horrible back pain, I know why (I carried a way too heavy GYM bag for half a day yesterday, was at a double session, then went into the cold weather and the heavy bag, and was running around the whole day). I decided to go to sports today anyway, survived Cardio somehow, almost died in Yoga. Apparently sport does not help when you have pains. I went to have lunch with a friend and could not even look right or left. Since I arrived home a few hours ago I am in bed, with this hot pillow, a scarf and the heat. No change. I feel like shit. Cannot move, and hate the fact I would miss sports till this issue would be solved. Scheisse!

-------------------------

On Sunday, Germany (tried to) remember Kristallnacht. The night between November 9^th and 10^th, when the Nazis and many of their supporters (most Kristallnacht offenders were NOT members of the Nazi party, yet), in an organized event, attacked Jews, Jewish businesses, synagogues and so on.

70 years since that night.

M. and I went to an event that was organized by the Jewish reformed community of Hamburg.

Was a small event, less than 100 people; but was still important.

In Germany, by the way, the term Kristallnacht is not to be used, because it is a term that was coined by the Nazis, who tried to make it sound nice. In Israel however, we use ליל הבדולח which is a translation of Kristallnacht, therefore I keep using the term.

On Monday we had a nice get together of some of my friends; there was a concert of a music professor that I know, he plays wonderfully. We ended the evening at a nice bar and over all was a nice evening.

Yalla, mitziti for now, waiting for M. to come back home with some food because I am starving and there is nothing to eat!

Also, I can use a good massage.

Preferably at the Meridian Spa.

(from here)

Politics makes me cry + L.Cohen

2008-11-03T19:33:00.003+01:00

Let’s start with some politics.

The fundamentalists Jews are going out of control. Settlers in the occupied territories, who never obeyed the law, are getting even worse. They abuse the soldiers who are there to protect them but find themselves in the position of protecting themselves from group of bandits who claim to fight in the name of god. Last week one of these criminals wished the soldiers the fate of Gilad Shalit. Yesterday one of the biggest criminals of them burnt the Palestinian flag in Hebron. Israel is like a TNT barrel, all we need is one stupid person and it seems that these settlers are determine to blow it all up. They also abuse the Palestinian population but this is another story. I am longing for a strong government that would make some order but instead I got elections again. Since a religious Jew murdered Rabin, there was not one single government that actually finished its term. Elections are expensive and with the social, education and medical systems going down, I cannot be optimistic. Last month, riots in the mixed city of Akko (Acre). The casus belli was a mistake (intentionally or not it doesn’t matter) of an Arab who drove his car into a Jewish neighborhood in Yom Kippur, the holiest of the holidays for the Jews. So yes, not driving is one of the holiday main issues, but give me a break.

Houses were burnt, people were hurt, and the city was almost demolished.

Only because an Arab rode his car.

What’s next? Stoning me for being with a non-Jew? Killing me because I have gay friends? Arresting me because I am leftist?

I have no air when I write about these topics. I would like to write more seriously about them but I feel that I am only shortening my life by doing so.

The coming elections worries me even more. The national religious parties united today to one fanatic hard core right wing party. The Likud got Netanyahu who is one of my nightmares and one of the people whom I hate the most. Kadima, a joke of a party, got nothing to offer and the Labor party is a dead horse for me. Left alone with Meret”z, the left liberal sane party (for me at least), I was sorry to hear that Baylin, a politician I admire, decided to retire from politics. He doesn’t have the necessary teeth anyway. This is the problem of the left, the tragedy and what makes it left: the peaceful ways of operations.

Elections again, in which the crazy religious will take another bite in the very fragile texture of my country. Yes, from far away, it is still my beloved country. What can I do? Nothing. I am seriously thinking about writing my PhD about the radical fundamentalists Jews and how, with their messianic ideas and primitive thoughts, they are bringing Israel down.

I always try to see the other side, try to understand the chanting crowed of Israelis calling to kill all Arabs, or those who see the danger in attempts to achieve peace. But I cannot. Last month they (they, a very big word, but they are "they" for me), tried to kill a professor who writes too liberal and too leftist for them. Tried to kill him. They also published leaflets calling for the murder of "Shalom Achshav" people. A schoolmate beat me when I was in the 9^th grade for wearing a Shalom Achshav shirt. I still own one shirt and proudly wear it when possible. In Israel I would be cautious. In Germany, what an irony, I feel safer wearing a shirt with the Hebrew title “Peace Now”. How did we end up like that? How did we come here, now, where we are, 2008, from 1948? Was the founding ground of my nation so rotten to start with?

Yes yes, I know, some of you are saying, “Look, we are only 60 years old, we are young, and we do have many wonderful wonderful things to be proud of”. Yes indeed, but that doesn’t make me calm down when I see how the immigration police treats illegal workers or how single moms are struggling or how the education system is going backward or how some people in my country think we should kill all Arabs.

How did we end up here? How did we let a minority, fanatic minority, take control of our daily living? They want to close places on Saturday, forbid the sale of pork and seafood, and the list goes on, on some religious areas there are special places for women in the bus, in some places they burn down stores that sales “inadequate” goods (like MP3s players). This whole issue connects directly with the movie I have seen on the struggle of the Gay Community of Jerusalem to march.

I am tired. I am sick of reading the news. They are killing me, and I am restless, and lost, and have no idea what to do.

We can sit down and complain, we can sit and bitch, we can say “oh no this is really too much”, but not doing anything will never help us. And that’s how I feel, that I, by not doing anything, contribute to the fall of my country, to the end of Israel that I want to live in.

---- I am smart writing this post while living abroad right? Not really. I care more than most people who do live in Israel and chose to go into internal migration, they do not read papers or watch the news or care. They will vote. Maybe.Maybe not. They don't care.

Tomorrow I will again remember the 4^th of November 1995…

I was home with my mom and my neighbor, Galit, we were about to watch a movie. Dad was on his way to India, Peps was in her room. A peace Rally in Tel Aviv was successful, thousands of people came to show support for Rabin, the prime minister, who chose the peace way. The title of the rally was “Yes to Peace, No to Violence”. And then news, out of nowhere, there were shots. Rabin was shot. A few hours of not knowing what is going on, me trying to dial to my dad (a very long satellite number and I kept misdial it), and mom and Galit are crying and I refuse to believe and then the final word: he is dead.

I went to Jerusalem to pass by his coffin, Gil by my side; it was one of the most surreal events of my life. A whole nation is in shock and all we could do is hope for good, for better. I wish for the murderer, this nasty lowlife whom I personally would love to see executed, to die slowly in his prison. I hate him and his stupid arrogant family and his nutty wife. I hate them.

And I hate them for making me hating them! I am not suppose to hate people :(

Back then, 13 years ago, we thought it was the most horrible thing we could see and experience.

Nothing can go worse than that.

Oh yes it can.

And it did.

OK. After releasing some steam (just like the Minestrone soup that I am currently cooking), I can write a bit about the Leonard Cohen concert.

My Facebook friends already saw all the photos that I took. The concert was big, 30,00 people. We were sitting in REALLY good sits, row 19 from the stage (well, not as good as row 1 but still). He was there, charming, looking good and sounding even better, with an amazing band of extremely talented people, they were so synced and professional and definitely made this one man show better.

He can sing, man man man, it was the best thing ever… he started with “Dance Me To The End Of Love”, the second song was “Who By Fire” and then I got so high from the energies therefore I cannot remember the order of the songs he sang.

The concert lasted 2.5 hours with a short break in the middle.

He sang, according to my memory, more than 20 songs, they were all there:

Tower of Song

The Partisan (I took a clip of the song for Yinnon and Gil)

Suzanne

Ain’t No Cure For Love

Everybody Know (was waiting to hear that you live forever when you’ve done a line or two for many many years!)

Famous Blue Raincoat (came in the encore and was absolutely WOWOWOWOW)

I’m Your Man (one of my favorites!)

Anthem

Take This Waltz (did not even dream about hearing this song that I know from a very young age because of my parents)

Democracy (is coming…to the U S A, he said this is his love song to the USA)

The Future (which I had in my head the whole day because if “I am the little Jew who wrote the bible…”)

Closing Time

Hallelujah (the Germans… did not move or sing or dance or anything but clapping politely, I thought to myself, they will have to sing once Hallelujah is coming. Guess what? they didn’t! Lucky me I had two cool Irish girls behind me so together we “fought” the majority… we sang!).

Heart With No Companion

If It Be Your Will (he said he wrote it in a very bad and hard period of his life)

The Gypsy Wife

In My Secret Life

First We Take Manhattan (yes! I was so happy about this one)

I Tried To Leave You (was kind of a joke because it was the first song in the encore, he was trying to leave us)

And finally, I do remember “Boogie Street” (from “Ten New Songs”) this song is very special for me, I love it so much, I really want to hear it and I did… however, it was sang by Sharon Robinson (she is with Cohen for ages, she co wrote many songs with him). Was beautiful, she is a talented singer, but hey, I want L. Cohen to sing it…)

Bird On A Wire

This is how far my memory goes… I am not sure if he sang “Waiting For A Miracle”, I do love this song a lot but for some reason I cannot remember. And M. is away so I cannot ask him, (and he would probably ask me “which concert?”, he is too busy with the stat exam, however, he enjoyed the show almost as I did, I had a bigger stupid smile on my face for the whole evening and the next day).

So, what can I say? I saw many concerts in my life. I saw R.E.M (twice) and David Bowie (twice, including a show with less than 500 people in NYC), Radiohead (3 times including a 2$ concert from MTV which was tiny), I saw Roger Waters (oh man, twice, yes, the one in Israel was unbelievable), and last time when I was home I saw Paul McCartney, I did see U2 in Madison Square Garden, and Blur and Interpol and Muse, I did see Suede when I loved them and so on and so on. I saw many concerts of bands and people that I adore, but I must admit, this concert was the best concert. EVER.

Cohen’s energies were hugging the audience; he is 73 but gave a show of someone with the youngest spirit in the world. He is modest, polite, charming, hypnotizing…

As to his singing…

Just close your eyes and imagine his rusty smoky voice whisper:

Its four in the morning, the end of December
I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
New York is cold, but I like where I’m living
There’s music on Clinton street all through the evening…

(And to think this song is five year older than me! Timeless!)

And a big kiss and tones of love for M. who thought about the perfect birthday gift in the world.

Thanks Babe!

Sincerely, L. Cohen

2008-11-01T10:30:00.002+01:00

More to come... but later :)

Fall

2008-10-22T09:39:00.009+02:00

Waking up in the morning and it is dark.
Dark as in "what? Is it 3:00 in the morning?” No. It is 7:00. Changing to wintertime this Saturday, then waking up will be kind of OK (it is never OK) but it would get dark at 16:00. Can't have it all I guess (be we can try).

The leaves are having the time of their life. They are red and orange and yellow and brown and they just fly everywhere all the time! Falling down constantly they actually buried my bike (see pictures!). It is nice to step on the and hear the crunchy sound but sometimes it is too wet due to some rain and they just turn into a leaves soup which always makes my shoes dirty.
Getting colder and colder, must wear a coat and a scarf. I need new boots. I always need new boots, I actually have a wish list as long as the running around the Alster. 7 Kilometers, why do I always want “things”? why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Damn you modern life and consuming society!!!

OK, let roll it:
On Wednesday, the Hamburg International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival started with an Israeli movie "Jerusalem Is Proud To Present", a documentary that deals with the very sensitive topic of a gay parade in Jerusalem in 2006, here is a short summary:
This documentary by filmmaker Nitzan Gilady follows the effort to stage the 2006 World Pride celebration and march in Jerusalem. Meeting with sharp opposition from the start, advocates faced accusations of "homo-sexualizing the Middle East," as well as serious threats of violence, eventually coming up against a vast outnumbering of those who opposed even the most quiet and tasteful symbol of equal rights. ~ Cammila Albertson, All Movie Guide

What can I say?
I was sitting there, getting pissed, annoyed, aggravated, so so mad, angry, nervous, and unhappy - everything you should not go to the movies for. The topic is close to me in a personal level and watching the dark primitive animals calling themselves religious Jews made me want to puke. They made me sick. Fundamentalism is such a nasty word, and in this case, it's a nasty word to nasty people.

After the movie there was a short discussion, cannot escape the crowed I took the microphone and explained in English some more about the Orthodox and other issues related to the film. What can I say, it was a hit, they loved me and clapped :) could have not asked for more.
Later on I met M for Indian food (I went with two other friends, M must study) and told him, excitingly how I talked in front of the moviegoers etc, he was not impressed so I called Limor who was impressed and the next day she told me such a beautiful thing: she said there is no wonder it was natural to me and made me happy, she said it is because I was born to teach or lecture of in some way be in front of people.

I was like "NO NO, stop it, please continue".

It is important to be able to get compliments.

I need to be an actress.

What's going on with my speller lately? Dysfunctional --> it is not me it is the speller (and sometimes me).

Overall had another busy week, sports (a lot, daaaaah!), last Hebrew session with beginners yesterday, and today, for the first time since arriving in Hamburg, I am going to a St. Pauli game.

St. Pauli:

The low-level league soccer club of Hamburg, known to be wild and happy, idealist and crazy; some of my best friends are hard core fans (Imke!) and I can seriously say that it is a love story between fans and a team. They are so loved as the underdogs that you cannot really get tickets to the games. I was lucky with a friend of a friend (met accidentally on the bus two weeks ago, he was on his way to the game, and when I said I never went to any he said he would get me a ticket. And yes, he did). So in a couple of hours I need to leave. I am hoping not to freeze my ass or die out of boredom. I promise a full account soon.

Look, WIKI even has a full paragraph about:

St. Pauli and the "Kult" phenomenon

It was in the mid-80's that St. Pauli's transition from a traditional club into a "Kult" club began. The club was also able to turn the location of its ground in the dock area part of town St. Pauli near Hamburg's famous Reeperbahn - centre of the city's nightlife and its red-light district - to its advantage. An alternative fan scene emerged built around left-leaning politics and the "event" and party atmosphere of the club's matches. Supporters adopted the skull and crossbones as their own unofficial emblem. Importantly, St. Pauli became the first team in Germany to officially ban rightwing, nationalist activities and displays in its stadium in an era when fascist inspired football hooliganism threatened the game across Europe. In 1981, the team was averaging crowds of only 1,600 spectators: by the late 90's they were frequently selling out their entire 20,000 capacity venue.

And a whole part about the fans:

Supporters

FC St. Pauli enjoy certain fame for the left leaning character of its supporters: most of the team's fans regard themselves as anti-racist, anti-fascist and anti-sexist, and this has on occasion brought them into conflict with neo-Nazis and hooligans at away games. The organization has taken up an outspoken stance against racism, fascism, sexism, and homophobia and has embodied this position in its constitution. Team supporters traditionally participate in demonstrations in the Hamburg district of St. Pauli, including those over squatting or low-income housing such as the Hafenstraße and Bambule. The centre of fan activity is the Fanladen St. Pauli.

The club prides itself on having have the largest number of female fans in all of German football. In 2002, advertisements for the men's magazine Maxim were removed from the team's stadium in response to fan protests over the sexist depictions of women in the ads.

Going to be fun :)

Good weekend everyone!

------------------------------------

Oh, and some recent photos:

What is is all about:
The inner Alster and it's noisy Swans and Ducks.
They are fat and fight for food and they will soon be transferred into their Winter Habitat.
Then some "Fall" pictures from the shopping area next to the Rathaus, a picture of the neighborhood and my bike buried under some leaves.
Oh, and some material from the Film Fest, organized by this organization.

Nobel Etc.

2008-10-19T16:24:00.010+02:00

Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clézio.
I heard this name for the first time last week when we was announced as the winner of 2008 Nobel Price for Literature. It is OK that I have never heard of him before. First I am not a big fan of French literature (yes yes) and second, I am too small in this enormous world of literature, I have so much more to read and learn and many millions of writers to get to know.
I am sure he is a great writer, and he looks cute for his age.

He was born in 1940 and looks like that:

(picture was taken from here)

I was a bit astonished to read what the Swedish permanent secretary of the Swedish Academy, a dude named Horace Engdahl had to say:

"Of course there is powerful literature in all big cultures, but you can't get away from the fact that Europe still is the center of the literary world ... not the United States," he continued saying that “The U.S. is too isolated, too insular. They don't translate enough and don't really participate in the big dialogue of literature,"..."That ignorance is restraining." (from here)

How arrogant, how European, how stupid and how wrong.
I was personally insulted in behalf of many great American writers :)

I know the price is not about popularity and definitely not about which author is better known than another, but to claim that there ars not good American writers kind of makes the price a bit bizarre, if you are the head of the institution who picks the winners then you can forget about being taken seriously now.

Amos Oz and Philip Roth were nominees this year as well.

I only read a few from Amos Oz and the last one I read, "A Tale of Love and Darkness" was more than wonderful. In one of the chapters, in this lovely tale of Oz's childhood in the pre time of Israel, he describes the day Israel was founded. Every kid in Israel knows the setting, we all learned about it, we saw it in movies, we read about it, we took a final exam in History about it, however, reading Amos Oz describing his experience, as a very young boy, the day of the UN voting for the state of Israel, the people writing down which countries voted yes, which voted no, and the joy, the pure joy of the final outcome, his dad crying, people dancing in the streets, this scene was the most vivid I have ever read.

As to Philip Roth, I was fascinated with his "The Plot Against America" and find it to be a very powerful piece of fiction. Roth took the idea of a pro-Nazi American president (the famously antisemitic, Charles Lindbergh, better known for being a pioneer aviator), which signed a treaty with Hitler and basically transferred the Nazi ideas and actions into the U.S.A. This whole story, written from a point of view of 8 years old Roth, living a normal Jewish boy life in the suburbs of New Jersey, irritated me and annoyed me and scared me. Yet, it was interesting to read.

(cover was tkaen from here)

BTW - on my German cover there is an X and not a Swastika because they are illegal in Germany.

So yes, these two were not “picked”, Roth is too American and Oz is probably too Jewish for the Swedish (I have an ADL report from 2004 about Antisemitism in Sweden, you cannot even imagine how bad it is. I am sure 2008 was not better). I just want to finalize my ideas by wondering; the Swedish Academy dude was saying that he thinks the American writers are "too sensitive to trends in their own mass culture," which, let's face it, is a criticism about Capitalism which is very popular to blame the Americans for.

I have no problem with Capitalism, yes, it is not the perfect method and yes there is social injustice but for now it is the only working system (we tried communism remember?), the world is too complicated to simplify an economic method to the level of only ideas and right or wrongs. But, as I remember correctly, Sweden is the home of Ikea and H&M (which I am a big fan of both, H&M is my third home after the real home and the sport club, and Ikea is my favorite brand being a spoor student), how come I have never heard anyone criticizing H&M for taking over the world? there are many H&M's in NYC and here in Hamburg, oh man, everyone is wearing the same cloths from H&M!!! The Swedish H&M, with sweatshops everywhere in the third world. Same for Ikea, how come I had the same things in NYC in Eilat and now in Hamburg?! they are unifying the world!!! and to the crucial questions:

Who knitted my Scarf? A kid in Pakistan?

Who made my plates? A pottery slave in China?

Got my point?

I always thought that Milan Kundera (born in 1929 in Brno, I used to know a guy from there! Petr where are you?) would win a Nobel Price for Literature. Yes, just for being a great writer, you can say what you want but he is a great writer. His topics are universal, his messages are deep and the way he writes is like sun beams in a cloudy day; you enjoy the grayness and the chill in the air but you also get some ray of lights in between the shadows (what a tiring metaphor!).

I can say that “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” is one of my top 10 favorite books in all time and I can also say that I read almost everything he wrote (I also love “The Joke” and “Laughable Loves” and “Life is Elsewhere” and, it was not by chance that as a goodbye and thank you gift, I bought Huttenbach, my mentor, “Ignorance”).

(picture from here)

Kundera left Czechoslovakia in 1975. Czechoslovakia under the Communist regime was not a good place for intellectuals, writers or artists. Czechoslovakia was a rare case, the Communist were welcomed there almost with open arms, the wounds of WWII and the Nazis were so deep and fresh that anything new and socially “good” was preferred and welcomed, the Czechs did not know, of course, that they are stepping into the Communist Bloc trap and once they realized it, it was too late.

The intellectuals had a few options:
1. Be a party member and create according to the agenda
2. Fight
3. Exile
4. Internal Exile

Václav Havel, my idol (we all remember that I wrote my MS thesis on him right?) chose to fight after he realized that there is no point for the Internal Exile he was praticing for awhile. Havel’s term has a lot to do with the “Internal Migration” of the 1958 Literature Nobel Price winner, the Russian writer, Boris Pasternak (“Dr. Zhivago”).

Milan Kundera fled to Paris in 1975 where he lives until today.

It must be clear that Kundera did not “run away” or “betrayed” his friends and colleagues, he was involved in the intellectual movement that was fighting for reformed Czech Communism, then he was expelled from the Communist party (he tried the first option), then he was part of Prague Spring of 1968. I guess that the pain of the rolling tanks in the streets of Prague in 1968 was too hard for Kundera and as I said, he left for Paris.

This whole introduction was in order to emphasize two things:

1. I love Milan Kundera

2. Lately there was some kind of a new drama regarding Kundera. The “Czech Institute for Studies of Totalitarian Regimes” published a study that denounced Kundera as a Communist “rat”, informer. He, so they claim, basing the claim on a police report, inform on someone as being a Western Spy. Kundera denied the alleged accusation. Some argued that the police document was a fake; we all know how easy it was to write the “truth” back then in Soviet times… Even the guy who supposedly Kundera informed of, a pilot name Miroslav Dvořáček, even he, sick and old, does not believe it was Kundera and referred to someone else who was involved.

And the point?

Die Welt, a very respected paper in Germany, had the to make a clear comparison between this ambiguous case to the case of Günter Grass, a Nobel Price winner and a famous admired writer here in Germany. They just forgot that Grass was actually a solider in the Waffen-SS in World War II and they also forgot he kind of hid this fact for many many years. Was “Die Welt” so desperate to clear Grass’ conscience that it had to make much ado about nothing when the unclear story of Kundera came up? How could they even think to drew a line between the two cases?

I am not sure.
Let me just quote Joachim Fest, commenting about Grass's very late confession:

“After 60 years, this confession comes a bit too late. I can't understand how someone who for decades set himself up as a moral authority, a rather smug one, could pull this off” (from here)

And now to something completely different:

Last night M. brought a DVD that was recommended by his friend. The movie is “ONCE” and it is one of the most special, small, loving, painfully amazing movies ever. It is all about once in a lifetime love that was missed, all while amazing lyrics with enchanting music is being played.

I was moved, I like it and I recommend it sincerely…

13 more days...

2008-10-18T11:25:00.002+02:00

On being busy

2008-10-14T09:19:00.004+02:00

Yes yes, busy busy.

Let's start with the fact that the CEO came on Monday so I spent last week working on a presentation that, at the end, did not take place. I worked the whole week and on Saturday and Sunday, almost done with my monthly hours. My PPT skills are almost perfect now after putting 30 hours into "Challanges in Working Plan 2009" - very intersting. Was fun working late on the weekend, barefoot in my office, with my music, pretzels with the boss, lots of Diet Coke. I actually told my boss I won't mind working on the weekends insteadof on weekdays.... quiet, calm, work is done properly. So yes, the PPT was not showed to the big big big boss, but I was still sitting at the meetings, doing minutes (lucky me for wireless internet...).

Last Tuesday we went to see "Burn After Reading" which was semi OK, Brad Pitt is hysterical but besides that and some smart jokes it is a movie about nothing which I do not want to encourage.

Last Wednesday was my Doktorvater's birthday, he invited me to a dinner party at a nice fancy French restaurant. Was really nice and tasty and I got to meet some of his other students but over all was weird because there were 25 people sitting next to a table and no one is trying to get to know the others or being engage in a conversation with others. They all stock to who they knew. I guess this is the German Academic world. I bought him "Fontanella" and "The Pity of It All", I hope he would read them and I hope he would like them.

On Thursday I arrivedf for Hebrew just to discover that someone took over the my room. Tina, one of the students, was kind enough to offer her place that is near the UNI so we ended up having a session at her nice kitchen. We decided it was much better there so we will finish our cours there.

My weekend, as you already heard, was dedicated mainly for work, I did go to sport though and even joined a Nia Special that killed my back.
Oh man, who cares about my stupid sports anyway? that's all I can talk about? sport sport sport. We got it, I do sport. A LOT. Big deal, if I was losing weight it was one thing but I am not, just getting buffed. Stupid sport.

Anyway, check the next link, the second post, I was hosted in this special blogs about books and had to answer questions about my reading habits which was such a good experience because I have never actually answered questions like that (maybe like sport, my books' obsession interest no one but me). It is in Hebrew so sorry all my non-Hebrew readers (May, was cool that you somehow got there and even cooler you realized it was me... I guess it was the nick wasn't it?).

6 couples that I know broke up recently. 6. SIX.
2 out of the 6 were mixed: Israeli women with German men
2 out of 6 got something to do with going abroad: Japan & Mexico
1 out of 6 was a decision made by both sides
1 out of 6 was the woman's decision
4 out of 6 was the men's decision
6 out of 6 had the following words "future" "hard" "not ready" & "not what I want" in their reasons
3 out of 6 did not see it coming
3 out of 6 the partner who was dumped took it hard

Relationships are hard.

My "Sport's Sister" is one of the 6, I invited her for Shakshuka on Friday, to cheer her up.
Healing a broken heart with food... and wine :)

Yesterday I was off, was dead tired after my long week yet, (ATTENTION!!! I AM GOING TO MENTION SPORT AGAIN) ,yet, I kicked myself out of bed and had TWO hours at my sports club. I spent the rest of the day cleaning the apartment, 6 hours of cleaning, dusting, washing, vacuuming, scrubbing, organizing etc etc. I must declare the apartment "very very very clean".

The good thing about Facebook is that now I have (almost) a full like of my Ex's.

Also, one can play BubbleTown.

I find a ticket to Israel at the end of January. 164 Euro here and back. Took me a week too long to make the deciosn and now the tickets is more than 200. Blah.

Bad post, bad bad post! I think my brain is too tired.

Oscar Wilde's Birthday tomorrow...

I did tell you how much I like Amy McDonald, right?

Na und?

2008-10-03T12:16:00.004+02:00

I am looking for a good recipe for a Curry Coconut soup. Just like the one they sell on the Isemarkt on Fridays. It is orange, and tastes great and as the name indicates contains coconut and curry, but besides that I am clueless. I searched online but was not happy with the results.

It is Germany's Unification Day (German Unity Day as it's called here). The joke goes that besides the East Germans no one is really happy about this day. I think it is an historical day.

On November 9th, 1989 I was 13.

I cannot say that I was politically involved in world affairs; I was probably more interested in the new River Phoenix movie than in a stonewall in the middle of Berlin.

TV was a major factor in my life but having one governmental channel (things reached Eilat very slowly...) kind of limited the fun.

I read newspapers, meticulously.

I do not remember the day...

Hamburg Film Fest is over. We only watched two films this year, the first, an Israeli film, "Noodle", was fun and good. I was impressed with the acting and was happy that the Germans around me liked it a lot (national pride you know).

Yesterday we went to see "Blindness", based on a Saramago novel. The book was one of the hardest I have ever read in my life (as in, the topic is horrible, killing you slowly, hurting you, makes you cry, not that the writing is hard to read). While reading it in NYC my dad read it in Israel and I remember he actually gave up on it because it was too hard to read. A metaphor to our human instincts, the book is grabbing your heart, with a fork, and spins... Having no expectations, I discovered that the movie was a close remake of the book, the acting was amazing (Jillian Moore!!!) and the message was brought perfectly. Many tears rolled on my cheek...

A long weekend, a long weekend for some reading, some Yoga, some friends and coffee; A long weekend to start the thinking (again), a long weekend to make decisions (again).

I want to go Vegan.

28 more days to L. Cohen.

The newspaper

2008-09-30T18:05:00.006+02:00

... that I bought before leaving Israel - happy that I will have my weekend edition here in Hamburg - was missing the main issue that I like the most.
Tough luck ain't it?
I should have checked before.
Why is it bothering me? No reason. It is just one of these things, like, why, me?!
(Shutting up about this silly newspaper immediately, I did bring 9 new books and the last thing I need to cry about is the paper. But... but... there was an interview with Ellie Wiesel that I want to read...).

Today at work (yes I am back, finally, bored to death, Limor is away) I read in someone's newspaper that Paul Auster will be reading from "Man in the Dark", tonight. Giving up the idea of the movie (we have tickets to see "Noodle" an Israeli film at the Filmfest) and getting excited about seeing Auster (Yes, you remember correctly, I have seen him in NYC a few years ago). On my way to get my eyebrows done I find out that the event is SOLD OUT.
1000 people bought tickets to see and hear Paul Auster. I could have been number 17 on the waiting list but na ja, I rather have safe movie tickets (for half the price, thanks to my friend from sport:)

And here is a little story:

Before leaving to Israel I went shopping with M, I saw this really cool laptop bag, cool colors, cool fabric, cool design. Shortly, I liked it. A lot. However, it was 40 euro. I know, it is not that expensive, but it is for me, for something I do not really need.

Yesterday I thoguht I deserve a Rosh Hashana present (althought sweet M got me something that made me happy) therefore went back to the store after work today, in my head I had this wishful thoughts "50 % sale!!!" signs etc etc. When I arrived there, there was nothing. No SALE signs, no special red tags on the bag. Just the cool bag - saying: 40 Euro.
OK, I told myself, I am already here, I deserve something nice for myself.
Take it.

I took it to the cashier, just to find out, while paying, that it had 50% off.

Wishful thinking, as Imke told me.
Wish for something and let it come to you.

NEXT: I am thinking very hard about world peace & social justice (and about me winning the big jackpot).

So yes:
31 - days to go till the Leonard Cohen concert
20 - Euro was the price of my new (cool) bag
19 - the number of Blogs I have on my favorites list
11 - the number of Blogs that I read today
9 - the degrees we had this morning
4 - the number of "Bubble Town" games that I have played today
4 - the level that keeps killing me!
2 - new nail polishes that I bought (purple and red)
2 - tickets to see "Noodle" (M & me of course)
0 - number of sport sessions for today
0 - the chances to see Paul Auster
100% - the chances Gil is already addicted to "Bubble Town"
1 - the number of mails I owe T in Istanbul :)

My coffee is cold.
Yack.

The book that I am currently reading.
The new Saramago.

First sentance:
"The next day no one died..."

Shana Tova

2008-09-29T12:50:00.002+02:00

For the first time in my life it is bothering me that today is Rosh Hashanah and I could not care less.

In NYC I did not even know it was any kind of a Holiday (I only knew it was XMAS because it is hard to miss millions of decorations and screaming Santas at every corner). M&M just told me she heard in NYC you never know which day it is.

Funny but true.

So I had the idea to invite a few people over for wine and apples with honey. But I am too tired to start organizing something like that. Maybe I will just take M. to a nice place to eat. And then I will teach him to dip apples in honey (it is very simple, you just dip apple’s slice in honey – to symbolize the wish for a sweet year – I think).

I think that what's bothering me is the fact that I am slightly troubled by not having Rosh Hashanah. Yes, I just read the sentence. Makes no sense. Maybe being home made me homesick for something "home" (and then again, we do not really have Rosh Hashana at my parents, just a big dinner. And apples and honey…).

I came back on Saturday early morning, but first let's rewind to my days in Tel Aviv:
I arrived on Tuesday and was picked up by Hadas; we went to Peps and then met Yaela for a late lunch early dinner. I haven’t seen them both for ages and it was as fun as always. We were sitting and talking about the good old days in Tel Aviv Uni; it was in 1997 when we met, which, with my bad math, indicates more than 10 years. Oh man, more than 10 years since the happy days of Gilman and studying with Hadas and Yael.

In the evening, after eating way too much with the tola'aot, I was surprised by Meira, my friend from NYC who moved back home. She came over for a few hours and we went to a nice coffee place for updates and takings. Meira was the one who made my 27^th birthday party successful, and she is also the one who took my graduation photos...I was happy to see her.

On Wednesday I woke up kind of early because I had to run and meet M&M for breakfast. M&M just came back from South America, the photos were heartbreaking... Breakfast was good and big, I kept eating these nice bread things, piled more and more Nutella on them just to find out they were FETA cheese crackers. Not the best thing with chocolate but was still good :) We talked and talked and talked and talked and then I had to leave...

Why? Because I had to get ready for Ido's wedding. I was lucky, again, that Gil and Tal came to pick me up (Gil is laughing every time I mention it, but I do not think I would have survived Tel Aviv without him and his driving services...). The wedding was at a beautiful location, the Drinking-Eating balance was bad and I find myself tipsy, was more than happy to see many old friends that I haven’t seen for ages, we laughed, danced and had a good time. According to rumors I blackmailed the group photo with tears (I do not remember anything like that…). Ido was nervous and stressed in a cute way, I gave a blessing speech that made him laugh (personal private jokes that go way back), and then he sang to his wife, which was very romantic.

Thursday arrived, bringing a horrible horrible hangover from the night before… I was awaken by Einav and her one year old son Evyatar, I haven’t seen her for more than 3 years I think, and was happy to see her. The baby is so cool and fun, we spent noon together and then she had to leave because we had to get ready to see PAUL MCCARTNEY. OK, I did already “dig” enough about how much I love The Beatles etc etc, so I will be nice and will not do it again. The concert was GREAT and FUN and I was HAPPY and 40,000 people sang NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA HEY JUDE…

Now all I need to see is L. Cohen next month and as M said “you are done with the list of the old men”.

On Friday I went to the supermarket to buy some food to bring home. Tivall and Jachnoon and lots of Humus and the new Bamba with nougat (my diet was gone the first second I landed in Israel, gone I am telling you!!! a disaster I am telling you!!!). I also got Pitot and no wonder I had 7 kilos over weight. Then, after the shopping, Peps and her GF and I went to “the city”, we visited Dizingof and Nachalat Binyamin and the Carmel Market. Was hot, humid, sticky, but fun in some way… We ended up eating Humus Chips Salat, the world famous Israeli lunch.

Gil took me to the airport with Peps, saying goodbye again, flying for 5 hours, sleeping most of it, landing on a foggy morning, cold cold cold, 12 degrees, winter is here, missed M like crazy, not used to be here, a bit weird, cleaned the house the whole day yesterday, then went to see a movie about the RAF. There is some kind of a German obsession with these terrorists, I remember in Der Spiegel, issue after issue of articles about the group, and now the movie. I was not happy for watching a movie about them. It is like glorifying them, making them a bigger myth than they are. After all they were murders, bandits, terrorists. Na Ja – hoping to write more seriously about it some other time. Seriously? That’s something I miss…

Today, still off from work (hey, it is Rosh Hashanah!!!), I have some errands to run, will try to make it to a double session at sport … and start the new year positively, with some serious important decisions and the biggest decision of all:

To keep my decisions.

Shana Tova!

Home

2008-09-17T22:46:00.010+02:00

I started writing this post last week:

I left Hamburg last Friday. I was lucky enough to have a ride to the airport with Adi (who left Hamburg for good on Tuesday and broke our hearts). My flight was good, met a wonderful couple, we talked for 4 hours; they were very interesting and fun to talk to.

I arrived at the humid Tel Aviv after midnight, Gil, my sweet dear Gil, came to pick me up (Alma is a traitor, and she is excommunicated from the group of friends who come to pick me from the airport), we drove to his place, I slept there and after a nice breakfast I went to the airport to catch my flight to Eilat that took forever, I was supposed to leave at 16:00 and had two hours delay. Was just like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, come on I want to go home and go to the beach already!!!

Already at the airport I have noticed things that made me mad, mad as an Israeli; mad as someone who lives in a place where people do not behave the way the guy who forgot his bag yelled at the security guy or the way the stupid passenger talked to the flight attendance.
I was like... wow, why are they like this? It was hard, also hard to notice how much Germany changed me, made me sensitive to these things which were always here. Eilat for instance seems to me, in times, like a refugee's camp. Shiraz, my friend, who visits her dad in Berlin often, said she feels the same when she comes back; it is such a different environment.

First thing on Sunday morning we went to a breakfast at the DAN hotel which was too too much much. Sadly it was too early and I was not that hungry. The amount of food and the variety were just the biggest I have ever seen. I took some photos, to show M. what I mean when I say I need veggies for breakfast. The occasion was the birthday of my mom's friend which her husband works at the DAN (well, he is the big boss). After the wonderful breakfast we went to the VIP lounge at the 14th floor and oh well, see the photos.

Then I went to the beach, and since then that is all I do; All day long at the beach, with books and Passion Fruit Slush (oh man, BARAD PASSIFLORA). Great great great, cannot ask for more....

I did visit Nona and had breakfast with her, I did meet Shiraz and we spent a nice evening together with tones of memories from junior high, I paid a visit to the school and saw the kids which are like so big now, oh, and I did teach my dad to scan photos because he got tones of old all alone, pictures of his old paintings, it was not easy but he made it and scanned like 60 photos which will go to his website (soon). He even learned to crop them at Photoshop (what's with the pro? I think it is easier to fly a spaceship than use the pro)

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

Continue (a new week already):
I am flying to Tel Aviv tomorrow, I am all packed and cannot understand how come I have no room in my bag! Half of it was for Shunit! I guess that 9 books are taking some space. Once again I was stupid to bring jeans (what FOR?!!! And two long sleeves shirt, I mean, it was 42 degrees! – what a waste of space…).

I am not ready to leave for Tel Aviv. Not ready as in "I wish I could stay here longer and chill for a few more days and gain some more kilos before I go back to the love of my life and the stupid winter in Hamburg". And I was stupid enough to not realize that Rosh Ashana is next week.

Could have should have would have whatever.
So, here I am so tan and proud for not getting burnt, spent 70 % of my time at the beach, my hair is burnt as well and my "surfer dude" look is on!

As mentioned, I also worked on my dad's site (still some work to do, but please spread it around, we want to sell!). He got new amazing works. HE was so funny when I was trying to explain the Internet world to him. I am seriously thinking about writing a book for adults on how to use the Internet, the simplest guide ever…. Nothing normal in the Hebrew market, Peps, think you want to help me?

I spent some time with Shiraz and Keren, Facebook is, after all, not such a bad place. We all met at the 7th grade and lost touch (kind of) for a very long time. I was so happy to sit and talk to two friends who I remember at the age of 13 and 14 and discover two great women, smart, interesting, funny. I had a wonderful time with them and I am so going to never lose touch with them again. Also, Shiraz, if you read here, maybe, I love you for your strength and coolness and for giving me some perspective about life that makes me appreciate what I have.

I gained like 5867693 kilos, my diet in the past week and a half was, mainly, everything that does not exist in Germany: good humus, pita bread, fresh! tones of snacks, man man man Bamba filled with nougat cream, chips in olive oil, the new Te'ami ice cream, Ice Aroma, Falafel, Tivall, and my favorite in all time, the new Grapes Water. I had like a bottle a day.

I can see myself back in sport cursing the world for the amount of bullshit I consumed; it will cost me hours and lots of sweat... I promised myself to lose it all very soon.

Once the cakes I am bringing from Israel will be done :)

I am not ready to go back, uuufff, the more I write the more I realize I am not done here yet and I am not ready to go back to the cold, darkness, cloudy city, not ready to go back to work (where my future is not clear), back to teaching Hebrew (lots of work for me), back to sports (blah).

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

And the plans for Tel Aviv?
Meeting Hadas and Yael tomorrow, we did not see each other for ages, Wednesday morning a breakfast with M&M who is back from S. America, and in the evening it's Ido's wedding (stupidly I offered to give the speech, I was successful in Alma's wedding but not sure if I can do the same with Ido). On Thursday I will meet Einav, she has a one year old kid that I haven't seen... in the evening I will die watching Paul McCartney in his concert. Friday is my last day, my list of people I want to meet is long, very long, and there is no way I will make it. I also did not see Peps yet. Did I mention I am not ready to go back?

On Monday next week it is Rosh Ashana, ya ya, the head of the Jewish year, I thought about hosting a toast in our place but once again we realized the apartment is too small for 12 people with wine, cheese and honey dipped apples... so now we are trying to find a place to have a drink at (with honey dipped apples)...

Shana Tova everyone, I hope the English readers are not mad anymore... I also hope my Hebrew readers are not that lazy.

Oh, how do you tell your parents that you do not want to remove your tongue piercing just because a stupid guy fucked up his piercing and died from infection? Mine is more than 10 years old, I have it for ages, all is well with it, I love it, I am used to it, and I just cannot find a way to tell my parents to leave me alone with their panic…

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

A nice grafiti in Tel Aviv. Herzel, the founding father of Zionism is saying
"If you don't want it, then no need", a joke on his saying "If you want it, it is possible"
(IT is Israel... in Hebrew it is so much better)

Veggies Bar at the Dan hotel, there were more than 20 bowels with veggies.
(and pizza for breakfast!)

This is the view from the VIP Lounge at the DAN.

More view, the shore line of Eilat, at the end of it, Egypt.

This is my beach actually; the Golden Beach.

More view, to the left, Jorden (Aqaba).

Mmmmm....

All I need:
Shade
Passion Fruit Slush
A good book
(this book was VERY good, Adam Resurrected by Kenuik,
wacth out for the book, the movie is out already and it is going to be big...)

Skippy with a hair cut.

Skippy is getting bored on me while we were playing cards.

My dad is currently working on Vermeer's masterpiece, "A Girl with a pearl Earring", he is going nuts trying to catch the attitude of the girl the way Vermeer saw it.
I am sure it was not easy back in the 17th century...
(it is a special order)

Sunset in Eilat

2008-09-17T22:46:00.004+02:00

Home!

2008-09-11T19:55:00.001+02:00

Flying home tomorrow, two weeks with sun sea and dad's food.
Also, Ido's wedding and Paul McCartney's concert.
Also, meeting friends I did not see for ages.
Also, I am happy.
Also, will miss M. who just came back from two weeks in China.
Also, wish he could come with me (he cannot).

Also, bye!

באה הבייתה!

2008-09-07T16:24:00.003+02:00

ביום שישי אסע לשדה התעופה עם מטלטלי (כמה מוזרה המילה הזו) לא הייתי בארץ ממאי וזה מרגיש דיי זריז, והזמן עבר מהר.

אני רוצה לפגוש את הדס ויעל שלא יצא לי לפגוש בפעם הקודמת. חברות זמניות או לא אני מאוד מתגעגעת אליהן. ליעל יש שני ילדים ולא ראיתי אותה מאה שנים. אני בטוחה שנשב ונצחק על כל החוויות ההזויות שעברנו בשלוש שנים קסומות לגמריי בגילמן. מלבדן אני אשמח מאוד לפגוש את הגברת מם שנסעה למרכז אמריקה וחוזרת אוטוטו. היא חברה וירטואלית שהפכה לחברה אמיתית ובפעם האחרונה פגשתי אותה לקפה קצר, אני מקווה שהפעם יהיה יותר זמן. אפרופו מכרים וירטואלים, בולי העורק יהיה בארץ וגם אנגליקה מברלין תהיה בארץ ואני אשמח לפגוש את שניהם אם ייצא.

אני מאוד רוצה לפגוש את עינב שיש לה כבר ילד בן שנה שלא ראיתי בכלל, לא הייתי בחתונה או בחיים שלה זמן די רב ואני מתגעגעת אליה מאוד, גם באילת יש לי שני חברים נשואים עם ילדים שאני ארצה לבקר (והדילמה: שעה אני עומדת בהייץ' & אם ולא יודעת מה קונים לתינוקות. הבגדים קטנים ומוזרים... אולי צעצוע?! ) בכל מקרה, רשימה חלקית בהחלט, אני מקווה מאוג שתוכניות יצאו לפועל (עוד לא דיברנו בכלל על הילדים שלי באילת, משפחה בקטנה, וכיו"ב) אולי עדיף לא לתכנן?! ואז דברים יזרמו כמו שהם?

עידו מתחתן. כאילו! עידו. את עידו הכרתי דרך אלון שהוא החבר הכי ותיק שלי, (אנחנו מכירים מגיל כמה חודשים והיינו תמיד ביחד הוא היה גר שתי קומות מעלייף חגגנו ימי הולדת ביחד ויש לנו תמונה מכל פורים אפשרי, ביחד) כשאלון עבר דירה עידו עבר לאילת והיה שכן שלו. זה היה בחופש הגדול של לקראת י' הסתבר לנו שאנחנו נהיה באותה כיתה והחלטנו מראש לשבת אחד ליד השנייה ואכן כמעט שלוש שנים ישבנו אחת ליד השנייה (אחר כך הוא בגד בי ועבר לשבת ליד זיו שהיה לי רומן סוער ומרגש איתו אחרי י"ב ובהחלט מהווה סיפור מעניין בפני עצמו). עידו הלך לצבא, אני הייתי בתל אביב ואז הוא נסע לניו יורק והיה שם כשהגעתי. הוא סידר לי את העבודה במועדון ובהחלט מהווה נדבך תרבותי בחוויה הניו יורקית שלי.

עידו בא לבקר אותי בניו יורק פעם אחת אחרי שהוא עזב, הלכנו להופעה של רד הוט צ'ילי פפרס ועשינו חיים משוגעים שכללו גלידה ואוכל מקסיקני. הוא חלק מהחיים שלי שלא תמיד נמצא שם אבל שתמיד מרגישים בו.

לפני שנה או קצת יותר הוא הכיר את שרון (שפגשתי בחתונה של עלמה), והיא אכן הבחורה המושלמת עבור עידו (אני לא מבינה איך היא לא שמה לו כאפה כשהוא קורא לי בטעות שרון), היא מקסימה ומגיע לה את עידו... אבל תמיד חשבתי שהוא יתחתן אחר כך. לא עכשיו. שלא ישאיר אותי לבד ב"לא נשואים",,, אבל כנראה שאין מה לעשות! (וגם גיל חזר למועדון).

בטח תהיה חתונה מהסרטים :)

שלשום בערב הלכתי לארוחת ערב אצל מריזבל החברה הפרואנית שלי, אחותה ועוד שתי חברות באו גם. מריזבל הכינה אוכל פרואני צמחוני (אני לא זוכרת את השם אבל זה מתחילה ב "פאפא אל ליו" שזה תפו"א או משהו). ארבע שעות אכלנו שתינו יין וקשקשנו בגרמנית. היה מתיש אבל מהנה ביותר. הן מקסימות ומעניינות והיה לי מאוד נחמד. אני מניחה שמלבד הפלוסים של הספורט במועדון שלי אני גם מקבלת פלוסים בתור חברות חדשות. כמו מריזבל. או מאריאן. פגשתי אותה לא מזמן ומאז אנחנו קבוע בשיעור מתיחות בימי ראשון ואחר כך קפה. כמו היום. נמתחנו למוות (מורה בת 60 לדעתי, גוף מהההההמם, גמישה בצורה חולנית, מפחיד קצת) ואז הלכנו לשתות קפה בשמש.

אתמול הלכתי לעדי שמבקר אותו חבר מלאנדן, אחרי קצת יין (וטחינת מוח מצד עדי שלא מבין איך אין לי מפתח לאופניים של מרקוס) הלכנו לשאנצנפסט (מהומה של השווארצה בלוק נגד השוטרים, מתרחשת על בסיס שנתי). פגשנו את נסטי וחבריה וגם את אימקה שבאה לומר שלום וגם מארק הצטרף והיה משעשע ומעניין - הכל תודות ל"וויט ראשן" איכותי בזיל הזול.
כשעזבנו היחידה לפיזור הפגנות התחילה להכנס במפגינים, סוריאליסטי למדי.

מרקוס ישוב לזרועותי ביום שלישי. הזמן טס וגם היה איטי מאוד.

אני רעבה, מאז שמרקוס נסע לא ממש אכלתי אוכל אלא שטויות, בעיקר סנדוויצ'ים, לא אכלתי סלט המון זמן ובקושי נגעתי באוכל מבושל. הערב לעומת כל הזוועה מתוארת אני רוצה להכין אורז עם קארי וירקות.

לחיי ההאנגאובר!
י

My new obsession

2008-09-02T15:18:00.004+02:00

Amy Mcdonald

...and look how beautiful, it's the first part of the above song,

I made it using this website.

אפגניסטן ואני

2008-08-31T20:01:00.004+02:00

סיימתי את "רודף העפיפונים" ו"אלף שמשות זוהרות"" וכמובן שעכשיו אני רוצה לעבור לאפגניסטן.
איזו ארץ עצובה. איזו ארץ מקוללת, כמה רוע וכמה חוסר מזל וכמה טמטום וכמה אופייני לעולם שלנו. "אלף שמשות זוהרות" הכאיב לי מאוד, בעיקר כי הוא עוסק בנשים. הבורקה המזעזעת הזו, חוסר הזכויות: אסור לצאת מהבית, אסור ללמוד, אסור לעבוד, אין לאישה שום זכות בסיסית, הטאליבנים הנאצים (נו, באמת, הם התנהגו כמו נאצים!) ההוצאות להורג באצטידיון גאזי, כריתות הידיים, הסקילה, מעשי האונס, הביזה, הרציחות.

ואני כועסת על עצמי. כועסת מאוד. רק דיבורים אצלי, כולי רוח וצילצולים, ובתכל'ס? לא עושה כלום. הנה, תכתבי על זה קצת בבלוג המעפן הזה שאף אחד חוץ מיעלי לא קורא (ועכשיו היא בארץ ולא תקרא את זה גם ככה!)
ואל תתנו למספרי הכניסה המרשימים להטעות אתכם, 90 אחוזים מהנכנסים הגיעו לכאן במקרה לאחר שגיגלו תמונות של כלבים האסקים או את רנדי פוש וההרצאה האחרונה שלו שהעלתי לפני כמה חודשים.

הייתי בשנה הראשונה באוניברסיטה כשהרוסים ברחו כל עוד נפשם בם והטאליבן השתלט. ומה עשיתי? עשיתי משהו? אני בטוחה שפה ושם קראתי על זה ופה שם, כיאה לגילמנאית אמיתית, קישקשתי על הנושא בעוד שותה מיץ תות בננה בקפיטרה (קפה התחלתי לשתות רק בניו יורק). והנה, גם עכשיו, אותו דבר, המצב נוראי בהרבה מדינות אחרות בעולם, ומה אני עושה בנידון? שוב לוגמת לי לאטה ומקשקשת עם חברות על כמה נוראי המצב באפריקה. אני חסרת תועלת. ביררתי מה הסיכוי שלי לנסוע לאפגניסטן, לא קיים.

הבוקר קמתי לצלילי מוסיקה ערבית מונוטונית, כמו תפילה, אני חושבת ששמעתי את המילים "אללה או אכבר" מספר פעמים ולא אתפלא אם שמעתי קריאות מואזין. לא לא לא, אין לי מסגד לי הבית, ולא, אין לי שכנים מוסלמים דתיים עד כמה שידוע לי (הטורקיה מלמטה לא עושה רושם של הולכת לאיזהשהו מסגד), בכל מקרה, חשבתי שאני מדמיינת, ששוב אני לוקחת את מחשבות האגו שלי בצורה טוטאלית ומדמיינת. אבל לא דימיינתי! המוסיקה התנגנה לה כשעה ואז פסקה. היה בה משהו מרגיע.

הלכתי לשיעור מתיחות, מתחה לי את הצורה כמו שאומרים, מאריאן, החברה החדשה שלי הייתה שם גם, היא כזו מצחיקה ונחמדה, היא מיהרה לנסוע ללובק אחרי השיעור ולא יכולנו לשתות קפה. במקום זה נסעתי למרפסת של אלטונה לקרוא קצת פיליפ רות' (יקח לי המון זמן לסיים את הספר הזה, ראו הוזהרתם) ישבתי בשמש. הייתה שמש היום.
למרות שכל מעריציי צבאו על פתחי - מאז שמרקוס נסע אני מאוד פופולרית כי אין לי יותר תירוץ ל"למה אני לא יכולה להצטרף לקפה / ארוחת ערב / סרט וכיו"ב". לא יפה מצידי להתחמק אבל לפעמים וזה ברוב הפעמים, עם כל האהבה שלי לאנשים, אני רוצה להיות לבד. אז דחיתי היום בנימוס קפה ועוגה עם ינס ובריטה, לא ממש הלכתי לאכול גלידה עם מארק ויאן וגם לא הלכתי לשתות משהו עם טינה. במקום זה, אחרי כמה שעות בשמש, באתי הבייתה ועשיתי כלום.
אני מלכת הלעשות כלום. ביג דיל הכנתי ארוחת ערב ותליתי כביסה ושמתי לאק אבל גם שרפתי שעות בלעשות כלום.

אתמול אחרי שיעור יוגה הלכתי לשתות קפה עם אנט, עוד חברה מספורט, היא אשת יחסי ציבור, מלאה בסטייל, חמודה, קצת עצובה לפעמים אבל בהחלט נעימה, היא סיפרה לי על הבן שלה ועל החבר שהיא זרקה ועל העבודה. ישבנו באוטנזן שזה איזור ליד אלטונה, מאוד מולטי קולטי כזה, היה בדיוק פסטיבל אפריקה ולרגע הרגשתי שאני בכלל לא בהמבורג. מיהרתי הבייתה כי אימקה הייתה אמורה לבוא שאתרגם לה איזה משהו שכמובן קשור לשואה, ישבנו כאן חצי שעה ועם בטנים מקרקרות (?) רכבנו לסט. פאולי לאכול אוכל מקסיקני. שעות על גביי שעות ישבנו שם, אוכלות אנצ'ילדות, מעשנות, שותות, ואימקה הכריחה אותי לדבר בגרמנית ואז שכבר יכולתי לעבור לאנגלית והיא לא כעסה הסברתי לה את המצב הפוליטי בישראל ועל הדתיים ועל חוקי הגזע הישראלים ועל המתנחלים והפחדים שלי שאני, כמתבוללת, אהיה מחוץ לחוק בקרוב, ודיברנו כמובן על השואה (שהיא חוקרת לעומק) ועל איך העבר של גרמניה מעצב אותה כל רגע נתון. היה מעניין כרגיל.

געגועיי למרקוס...
שבוע חדש מתחיל מחר. ושוב אני אהיה בו לבד. ובשבוע הבא מרקוס יחזור ואנחנו נהיה בדיוק ארבע שנים ביחד. ארבע שנים מאז אותו ערב גורלי בווילג' של ניו יורק שבו הסכמתי לתת לבחור גבוה ויפה את הטלפון שלי. ארבע שנים מאז שהוא התקשר ושאל אם ארצה להצטרף למשחק של היינקיז וארבע שנים מאז שעניתי ב"לא, יש לי תור למניקור", ארבע שנים מאז שהבחור לא וויתר והתקשר שוב. ארבע שנים. בשבוע אחרי שבוע הבא אני גם אטוס לארץ. אני אהיה שבועיים, אבלה בים עם אמא, אוכל את האוכל שאבא יכין לי, אתענג על השמש שתחבק את כולי ותצרוב לי את העור... אני אפגוש את הילדים המקסימים שלי שמחר מתחילים את כיתה י', אני אלך לחתונה של עידו ויהיה לי עצוב כי עידו מתחתן ואני נשארת לבד בחושך, ואני אהיה עם גיל שבטח גם לו יהיה קצת קשה... אבל אני חושבת שנוכל לטפל בכל הרגשות בעזרת קצת אלכוהול ובסוף הכל יהיה שמח! יום אחר כך אני אלך לשמוע את פול מקרטני עם מחצית מישראל ולפני שאשים לב אהיה בחזרה בהמבורג, מביטה בחשש לעבר העתיד, מתעבת את החורף שאוטוט יגיע, אבודה.
כרגיל.

יאללה, שיהיה שבוע טוב!

י

Blackbird singing in the dead of night...

2008-08-26T19:19:00.008+02:00

קחי את הכנפיים השבורות האלה ולמדי לעוף...
כל חייך, רק ציפית לרגע הזה שיגיע...
י

התחלתי לכתוב את הפוסט אתמול (כמו שתקראו מייד) אבל מאז קרו דברים מסעירים ביותר, למשל:

יש לי כרטיסים להופעה של פול מקרטני בארץ

זה בטח לא אומר לכם כלום ולא ממש מדהים אתכם. אבל בשבילי... בשביל מכורת ביטלס שכמותי שמעולם לא חשבה שכזה דבר יקרה... ההופעה היא יום אחרי החתונה של עידו ופפסה קנתה לנו כרטיסים בחמש בבוקר. אני מכירה כל שיר של הביטלס בעל פה. וזה הוכח לילה לבן אחד בניו יורק, בברוקלין, אצל עידו וינון בדירה, ינון ניגן ואני שרתי. אני חושבת שהיה שיר אחד בספר תווים המלא של הביטלס שאף אחד מאיתנו לא הכיר.
הביטלס הם פס הקול של רוב נעוריי אהבתי אוהבת ותמיד אוהב.

אני קצת בהלם. נכון נכון הוא זקן, הוא רק רבע מהביטלס, נכון נכון מיליון דברים. אבל זה פול מקרטני!
וחודש אחר כך לאונרד כהן. אני מרגישה שיחד עם ההופעות של ווטרס לפני שנתיים אני מכסה לחלוטין את האגדות שרציתי לראות בחיים. עכשיו רק נשאר לי להתחיל במירוץ אחרי קפה עם ואצלב האוול ומרקז, פאלאצ'י כבר מתה לצערי :(

יו מישהו מהשכנים מטגן בצל, מריח נהדר...

והנה הפוסט שהותחל אתמול:

אני אתחיל ואמשיך אחר כך מכיוון שאני פוגשת את עדי למוהיטוס ואוכל הודי בשאנצה. מזג האוויר כנראה לא שמע על תוכניותינו לרכב על האופניים ואי לכך לא מזמן החל לו מבול קטנטן (בערך הכמות השנתית של ישראל).

מה חדש? שאלה טובה, אולי לא הרבה בכלל אולי שום דבר.

הענק הגרמני נסע לסין לשבועיים, הוא הוזמן לכנס שמארגן פרופסור שהוא עבד עבורו ולמרות שהוא מפספס שבועיים בקורס החשוב מאוד שלו הוא נסע. ביום ראשון ארזנו והיה לי עצוב, אף פעם לא הייתי בגרמניה לבד, תמיד נסעתי לארץ והשארתי אותו כאן, ועכשיו... אני לבד. מה אם יהיו לי עכבישים בבית? מי יקח אותם ויוציא אותם למרפסת? ומה אם השכן מלמטה יחליט שהוא נאצי שוב ויצרח עליי בכל כוחו כי אני מתקלחת בשעה שלא מתאימה לו? ומי יסחוב מים מהסופר? מי יתקשר אליי למרות שאני בשיעור ספורט או יסמס אותי "מתי את בבית?". והכי חשוב: מי ישן לידי בלילה, יחרוק שיניים ויגנוב לי את הכרית?

טוב נו, אני יודעת. כולו שבועיים.

ברגע שהענק יחזור נחגוג ארבע שנים להכרותינו.
הרבה מים זרמו בהדסון והרבה פעמים סיפרתי את הסיפור המתקתק שלנו והנה חלפו להם ארבע שנים.
מי היה מאמין?

אז מה בכל זאת קרה מאז הפוסט האחרון?
נפגשתי עם נסטי לארוחת צהריים באחד מהימים האחרונים שהייתה בהם שמש (לדעתי הקייץ, שנמשך שבוע, הגיע לקיצו) אכלנו קומפיר (פיוז'ן גרמני-טורקי, תפו"א אפוי, הבפנוכו מעורבב עם חמאה וגבינה ומעל שמים דברים טובים כמו תרד או פטריות, צזיקי או רוטב שמנת, תירס עגבניות, זיתים או סלט קוסקוס - בקיצור, פייבוריט שלי ואני חושבת שאפשר לייבא את הרעיון לארץ). נסטי וטובי כבר לא יחד אז קשקשנו על זה (הוא נסע ליפן לשנה) ואז ישבנו לקפה ופגשנו איזה בחור שפגשתי לא ממזמן בפוני בר (הבר של הסטודנטים) והוא הצטרף אלינו והתברר שהוא פרפיומר, הווה אומר, הוא עובד בשביל חברה שיוצרת את תמציות הבשמים לחברות ידועות. לא יודעת מה איתכם אבל מעולם לא חשבתי שיש אנשים שזה ממש המקצוע שלהם, ומעולם לא ממש פגשתי אחד אז זה היה מעניין, הצקתי לו בדבר ה"וויט מסק" של בודי שופ, למה אני מכורה לריח הזה מכיתה י'? מה יש בזה? (הסבר: זה ריח נקי אבל כל כולו סינטטי, לא מכינים היום מסק מאשכים של איילים!) לשיחה המלבבת עם הבחור הפרפיומר הצטרף בחור שישב לידנו, זמר במחזות זמר, ניו זילנדי במקור, הוא הכין קליפ ליום השלום הבינלאומי שיחול (כרגע כתבתי יחול עם כ' ולא הבנתי מה לא מסתדר לי במילה, היר ווי גו!) בחודש הבא ושמח לספר לנו על כך, ברגע שהוא ישלח לי לינק אני אעלה אותו, הקליפ הוא פחות או יותר על המבורג.

ביום שישי האחרון הלכנו למסיבת פרידה מרוד שנסע לקליפורניה לעשות מאסטרס. מם הסתכל על החבר'ה במסיבה ואמר לי "יש כאן שני זוגות סטרייטים בלבד, אנחנו אחד מהם" מה אומר ומה אגיד מעולם לא ביליתי עם כל כך הרבה הומאים ולסביות. ארט החבר המצחיק של רוב שעובד כמייק אפ ארטיסט בשביל שאנל אמר לי שהוא מת על העבודה שלו מכיוון ש "משלמים לי להיות גיי" חשבתי שזה הזוי. שמעתי גם חוויות של שלושת הקווינס מישראל, את רוב עצרו במעבר הגבול בין ירדן לאילת, המושעממת שהחליטה להציק לו (בלונדיני קטן ורזה עם בייבי פייס אכן מהווה איום) שאלה למה הוא רוצה לבקר בארץ, רוב השיב שהוא מתעניין בישראל ואף לומד עברית כבר שנה, אם כך, אמרה הכלבה מהגבול, תקרא לי את השלט שמאחוריי.
בלי ניקוד.. רוב לא ממש הצליח לקרוא אותו וקצת צחקנו עליו (הוא כמובן שהאשים את המורה המדהימה שלו לעברית).

ספרים: את החדש של אוסטר, (שמם קנה לי יום אחרי שיצא) - " איש בחושך", כבר סיימתי בבליעה אחת, התגעגעתי לאוסטר, לניו יורק, לסיפורי החיים של אנשים מוזרים שאם מישהו אחר היה כותב אותם היינו אומרים "מה זו השטות הזו?" אבל כשזה בא מאוסטר זה חלומי. הוא הקדיש את הספר לדויד גרוסמן, וזה בא שנייה אחרי שסיימתי את "אישה בורחת מבשורה" שהיה קשה לעיכול ועצוב אבל מעולה ברמות. כשגרתי בניו יורק הלכתי לבארנס אנד נובל ביוניון סקוור לשמוע את אוסטר מקריא משיריו, אח איזה איש, מלנכולי, צנוע, ביישן אפילו. חבל שהוא הלך לו מהר כשהסתיים הערב (שם גם שמעתי את נורמן מיילר פעמיים).
געגועי לניו יורק.
לא לא לא.
מפסיקים עכשיו.

קניתי את הספר של אקהרט טולה "ארץ חדשה" שהומלץ על ידי אופרה. יותר מידי ספיריטואלי עבורי אבל אני אנסה. קניתי את "איים בזרם" של המינגווי (רציתי ממזמן) קניתי את "המזימה נגד אמריקה" של פיליפ רות' (מעניין אותי אם זהו שמו של הספר גם בעברית), רות' הוא לא סופר פשוט אבל הרעיון של "מה אם היה נשיא פרו נאצי בארה"ב בשנות הארבעים" מעניין עד מאוד והחלטתי לתת לו צ'אנס. מצחיק, על העטיפה של הספר יש איקס שלא קשור לכלום ומצאתי באמאזון שזה אמור להיות צלב קרס, אבל בגרמניה אסור. קניתי גם את "המקרה המוזר של הכלב בשעת לילה" בעיקר כי הניסיון שהיה לי עם תלמיד עם תסמונת אספרגר גורם לי להתעניין בנושא. מה עוד? אני חושבת שזהו. בציר נהדר ליום ההולדת! יש לי גם הלוואה את "רודף העפיפונים" ואת "אלף שמשות זוהרות", אני יודעת שאני בשלוש שנים איחור.

ביום שבת נסענו לאיקאה (לא לפני שהאוטו שכבר עומד חודש בחנייה לא התניע כי מתה לו הבטרייה - למרות שאני אמרתי שצריך להתניע אותו מידי פעם - וזה בדיוק מה שקרה בשנה שעברה ואז השכן ראה אותנו וירד עם הבטריה הניידת שלו, הפעם הלכנו אליו והוא ואישתו זכרו אותנו כי שמתי להם שוקולד בתיבת דואר כתודה והוא שוב הביא את הבטרייה הניידת ושוב ירד מבול באותו יום) בכל מקרה, באיקאה היה מלבב כרגיל, מצאתי את השיטה הטובה להתמודד עם מם שסולד מקניות - קודם כל קונים לו נקניקיה ואז מבטיחים לו שתיים בסוף, כשנסיים, ואז הכל זורם והוא מסכים לקנות כריות ירוקות לסלון ונרות בריח כותנה, קעריות חדשות, מצעים עם פרחים ועוד כמה דברים שממש, אבל ממש לא צריך. כשיצאנו לאוטו התברר שהבטרייה שוב מתה. מם הלך לנסות לברר באיקאה אם הם יכולים לעזור ואני הייתי קצת יותר אסרטיבית ושאלתי אנשים אם יש להם כבלים להתניע, כולם אמרו שלא. שלושה חבר'ה צעירים אמרו לי "מה הבעייה? בואי נדחוף" אני זכרתי שמם אמר שזה לא יעבוד (כי הצעתי את הרעיון) אבל עשינו זאת וזה עבד.
מם חזר לאוטו וראינו שנדלקה נורת אזהרה.

מכאן ועד הבית, ארבעים דקות נסיעה, נטחן לי המוח על איך שהרסתי את האוטו והלכה המערכת של ההתנעה או האגזוז או המנוע או וואטאבר ולמה נתתי להם לדחוף את האוטו כי הרי מם אמר לי שזה לא יעבוד וזה יהרוס את האוטו וזה יעלה הרבה לתקן ולמה לא הקשבתי ואני לא מבינה איך מנוע עובד ובלה בלה בלה בלה. החלטתי לקחת אחריות מלאה ולהודת בפני ההורים של מם שהיו אמורים לבוא לאסוף את האוטו באותו ערב שהכל באשמתי. הגענו הבייתה, היה לי גוש בגרון, כעסתי על עצמי, לא האמנתי שככה הרסתי את אוטו. מם חנה. ואז ניסה להתניע שוב. ובשנייה נדלק האוטו ונעלמה נורת האזהרה.

אני חייבת לציין שמאז הוא התנצל בערך כל שעה.
מוסר ההשכל היה חשוב ביותר: גם גברים יכולים לא להבין כלום במכוניות.

ההורים באו לאסוף את האוטו עם מתנות מאסטוניה שם בילו את חופשת הקייץ, לא היה לנו הרבה זמן איתם כי היינו חייבים לרוץ להופעה של להקה גרמנית שמעולם לא שמעתי עליה, הם שרים באנגלית, מוסיקה אלקטרונית:

The Notwist

היה איתם איזה די ג'יי גיקי לחלוטין (די ג'יי אסיד פאולי) שעושה מוסיקה עם וויי (כמה מוזר לכתוב וויי בעברית - בכלל מוזר לכתוב בעברית), וחוץ מהדי ג'יי המטורף שעשה מוסיקה מעולה הייתה תזמורת שלמה של צעירים מוכשרים בצורה טוטאלית שעשו מוסיקה מדהימה לגמריי עם נבל וארבעה כינורות וצ'לואים וקלרינט וסקסופון ועוד על מיני כלים כאלה שאני בטח לא יכולה לזהות עם המוגבלות המוסיקלית שלי, הם היו מאוד מהנים, מיוחדים, היה להם קצב מדליק בטירוף ודינמיקה מלהיבה, והנה המיי ספייס שלהם:
י

Andromeda Mega Express Orchestra

אחרי ההופעה המאוד מהנה ישבנו על הדשא באמצע מתחם התרבות בו הייתה ההופעה ודיברתי עם החבר'ה מהתזמורת:

אני: שמחתי מאוד לשמוע אתכם אתם נהדרים נהנתי מאוד בלה בלה בלה בלה בלה... גם החברים הגרמנים שלי חשבו שההופעה מצויינת, אבל הם גרמנים ולא יבואו לומר לכם.
תזמורת: (צוחקת)

תזמורת: מאיפה את?
אני: מישראל.
הכנרת (זו שמנגנת על הכינור, לא האגם שמתייבש): ידעתי, יש לי חברים ישראלים וישר ידעתי שאת ישראלית.
(אני לעצמי: נו טוב כנראה שזה המבטא)
י

אחר כך היה סט אלקטרוני של הדי ג'יי המשוגע שעשה מיקס מאאאאאמם לאחד השירים הראשונים של פינק פלויד מ 1967
קשה לי לכתוב את השם בעברית ובאנגלית אני אצטרך שורה חדשה,

It was "Flaming" from The Piper t the Gates of Dawn

הוא עשה ממנו משהו מאוד מהנה, השתוללנו מאוד (מקס והחברה שלו ואחותו שלומדת אמנות ברומא ושני חברים אחרים שלו מבוואריה היו שם גם) בשלב מסויים יצאנו לעשן והחבר של מקס ראה את הסולן של הלהקה ואמר לי שהוא מדבר עם סולן של להקת אינדי שהוא מאוד אוהב אז החלטתי להרוג שתי ציפורים במכה אחת והלכתי אליהם וכמו ישראלית טובה הפרעתי בנימוס ואמרתי לסולן של נוטויסט כמה נהנתי ואמרתי לסולן של הלהקה האחרת שמתיאס מאוד אוהב את המוסיקה שלו וככה שנינו שוחחנו כל אחד עם הסולן שהוא רצה.
מתיאס היה בהלם שעשיתי את זה אבל חשב שזה היה אחלה, אני כמעט אמרתי לסולן של הלהקה הלא מוכרת "אני לא ממש מכירה את הלהקה אבל מתיאס יצרוב לי כמה דיסקים" בסוף לא אמרתי.

קיבלתי את הדיסק החדש של איימי מקדונלד, היא נהדרת, ממליצה עליה בחום!

רציתי לכתוב על איך לא חשבתי שיש הצדקה לאולימפיאדה, בלי קשר לסין או למדליה שהביא האילתי. פשוט אין הצדקה לחגיגה כזו כאשר חלק ניכר מהעולם במצב קטטוני. מה בדיוק חוגגים שם? אחווה עולמית? בולשיט.

קיבלתי עוד מכתב מאייר פראנס המגעילים -אני במריבה איתם, מאז הנסיעה לגנואה בה שכחו את המזוודה שלי, אני רוצה, יותר נכון דורשת, שישלמו לי את המוניות שנאלצתי לקחת לשדה בכדי לאסוף את המזוודה שלי בעצמי, הם לעומת זאת מסרבים בכל תוקף ומנפנפים בכל מיני חוקים וארטיקלים וועידות שונות. לעולם לא אייר פראנס חברים, לעולם לא! במכתב שהתקבל היום הם מצהירים שהסבירו לי כבר שלא אקבל את הכסף ושהם רואים את הנושא סגור. אז זהו, שלא.

טוב, אני רואה שהפוסט הזה נמרח כבר יומיים, הספקתי להיות בפילאטס ויוגה (למה למה למה אני לא מצליחה לעמוד על הראש?) ועוד מעט אני אלך לפגוש חברות לקפה, אני מנסה לנצל את כל הזמן שיש לי כרגע כי מי יודע, אולי בקרוב משרה מלאה תכנס לתמונה וזה אומר סוף לבית זונות, סוף לפגישות עם חברים כל יום, סוף לספורט שש פעמים בשבוע, אפילו סוף לחלק משיעורי העברית.

וכמו שלימור אומרת: "חכי חכי יהיו לך ילדים תראי מה זה".
י

Lucky Rain Day

2008-08-12T22:35:00.003+02:00

אנשים שצריכים אנשים הם האנשים הכי ברי מזל בעולם...
י

מבול.
כרגיל.
השמש פינתה מקומה לסגריריות אפלה, מאיימת, מעציבה. לא הגיוני שזהו. עבר הקייץ. הייתי בים רק פעם אחת. לבשתי חצאיות פחות מעשר פעמים. לא קניתי סנדלים.

בכל מקרה, טסתי לעבודה על האופניים, חוצה את הרחוב הראשי של האוניברסיטה, עולה כלפי התחנה המרכזית, יורדת במהירות לכיוון ה"שפייכרשטאט" איזור הסחר החופשי העתיק בו אני עובדת.

העלייה לבאנהוף מעייפת, העיר עצמה שטוחה למדיי, כמו הרבה בנות שאני רואה בספורט ומרחמת עליהן, אבל עלייה קטנה פה ושם יש ואחת מהן נקראת בדרכי מידי יום. אני מסיימת אותה בהתנשפות. חייבת להפסיק לעשן. הא כבר הפסקתי . אה אבל אבל שוב נשברתי וחזרתי. ואז מגיעה הירידה.
ארוכה, תלולה, השיער שלי עף לכל הכיוונים, הזיעה מתייבשת. הנה הגעתי לעבודה.

היה יום חביב, הרבה "צחוקים" שזה נדיר עם הגרמנים. בעיקר צחוקים עם לימור, אחותי הגדולה, ועם הקולגה החדשה, בחורה טורקיה עם חוש הומור מדליק. יש לנו עובד חדש, סיני (להלן, המלוכסן) שבוהה לי בציצים כל הזמן. בהתחלה לא הבנתי למה הוא לא מסתכל לי בעיינים כשהוא מדבר אבל אחר כך הבנתי שהוא פשוט "בוהה ציצים סדרתי" ודוחה. אתמול דיברתי על כך עם הטורקיה שלא שמה לכך לב, היא אמרה שהיא "תבדוק" וסימסה אותי לקראת אחרי הצהריים בהיסטריה "הוא מלך הבהייה בציצים". צחקנו על זה כל היום, כמובן בקודים שהוא מסביבנו.

יש לי איזו מצגת להכין לסוף החודש אבל בסך הכל מאוד רגוע בעבודה, המערכת הממוחשבת לא ממש מתפקדת מאז שעשו לה אפגרייד ונשארתי כמעט חסרת תעסוקה. למזלי כל הזמן צצים דברים אז לא משעמם.

בכל מקרה, בעודי בעבודה ירד מבול. מרקוס אמר שירד מבול אבל האוטובוסים כל כך מחניקים אותי ועושים לי בחילה. מעדיפה אופניים, עם אופניים הכי כייף ומהר ואני יכולה לקחת איתי את ג'ף באקלי שישיר לי בקולי קולות (כן, גם באוטובוס אפשר אבל זה לא אותו דבר). כשעמדתי לעזוב ממש ירד גשם זלעפות, אבל ברגע שיצאתי פסק הגשם ויכולתי לרכב לי בעצלתיים לכיוון דמטור, התחנה הגדולה ליד האוניברסיטה.

למה נסעתי לשם?

כשטסתי לארץ במאי ישב לידי זוג יהודים רוסי שהיגר לגרמניה לפני מספר שנים , אנטון ואיזבלה. הם באו לבקר את אימה של איזבלה, קשישה בת 86 שמתגוררת עם אחותה בת ה 82 בראשון לציון. הם היו נחמדים, מאוד נחמדים, קצת יותר מידי מנומסים והכי חשוב דיברתי איתם רק בגרמנית! החלפנו אי מיילים ואמרתי להם שאם יבואו להמבורג אשמח להפגש איתם.

נחשו מה, איזבלה באה להמבורג.

הבן שלהם גר כאן והיא באה לביקור קצר (הם גרים במקלנברג פומרנייה). לקחתי אותה לסיבוב ברובע היהודי, שעתיים שלמות בגרמנית על ההיסטוריה של יהודי המבורג, דאמט אני מעולה! לקחתי אותה למקום האיסוף של היהודים, לכיכר ממנה הועלו על הרכבות וגם להיכן שהיה בית הכנסת שהושמד בליל הבדולח.
בעודי מסבירה, בקרליבך פלאץ, שמעתי שלושה אנשים לידי מדברים אנגלית. לפני שידעתי, לפני שיכולתי לעצור את היצר הזה שלי לדבר עם כל מה שזז כבר הייתי בעיצומו של הסבר מרגש על יהודי המבורג. באנגלית. השלושה היו: זוג מניו יורק (אפסטייט, כמובן שהתרגשתי מאוד) והאח של הבחור שהוא זמר באופרה של המבורג ויופיע בגם בלה טריוויאטה של ורדי שרציתי לראות. כמה חביב. החלפנו אי מיילים והמשכתי עם איזבלה לבית הקפה היהודי, "קפה ליאונר", שאמור להחזיר עטרה ליושנה ויהודים לגרינדל, הרובע היהודי, אבל במקום זאת רק מביא לי את הסעיף. לא נורא. בסוף, אחרי שעה בה איזבלה סיפרה לי על קורות משפחתה במינסק, רציתי לשלם על הקפה והעוגה שלה היא התרגשה מאוד, כעסה, אמרה לא, שכל אחת תשלם על שלה, אמרתי לה שהיא אורחת שלי וזה משמח אותי והיא חייכה ואמרה בשקט "אבל בגרמניה כל אחד משלם על עצמו", חייכתי אליה ואמרתי לה "אבל אנחנו לא גרמניות".

בעודנו מפטפטות בליאונר, המבול החל לרקוד שוב, ממטרים ממטרים.
ואז כשעמדנו לצאת הוא פסק.
פעם שנייה.
יומזלגשם.

ליוותי את איזבלה לדמטור, הבטחתי להיות בקשר ולנסות לברר אם מישהו מ"אנשי השואה" שלי כאן יכול לעזור לה באיתור בת דודתה שנעלמה במלחמה.

ואז, כרוח סערה עליתי על האופניים וטסתי לאלטונה לשיעור ניה.

לא הייתי בניה כמעט חודש.
פעם אחת הייתה שמש ולא הייתי מוכנה לא להיות בחוץ כאשר השמש זורחת.
פעם אחת לא התחשק לי.
פעם אחת הייתי חולה.

המורה, אנטונלה, איטלקיה קטנטנה, שמחה לראות אותי ונתנה לי לינקים לאתרים על ניה בישראל (כי אמרתי לה שלא נראה לי ששמעו על כך בארץ) מסתבר שכן. היה לי קצת משעמם בשיעור, אולי כי לא הייתי הרבה זמן. לא יודעת. העברתי חמישים דקות בצפייה בעצמי במראה, שזו פעילות טובה בפני עצמה. למזלי החברה שלי מפקיסטן, באשמה, הייתה בשיעור וזה קצת העביר לי את הזמן, היא יותר חסרת קואורדינציה ממני וזה מצחיק.

תנחשו מה, בזמן הניה - מבול.
איך שהסתיים השיעור פסק גם הגשם.
יו הו!

אחרי השיעור רכבתי לשאנצה, רחוב הבילויים, קצת מזכיר את הווילג' אבל לא כזה גדול ולא כזה מעניין ואין שם סמים, את הפיצה של בן או את אנטוני. פגשתי שם את יעל, חברה חדשה, לדרינק, עדי הצטרף אלינו והשקה אותי בכוח רב (!) במוהיטו שגרם לי להיות אדומה ולדבר עוד יותר מהדרך כלל. ממש ריחמתי עליהם. בעודנו בלאונג' עם הכוסות ודגי הזהב החל לרדת גשם חזק ביותר, ממטרים עצומים, ברקים,רעמים, משהו שהכנרת הייתה מודה עליו מקרב לב. ברגע שהחלטנו לצאת לאכול הגשם פסק.

אכלנו הודי, כרגיל, אני אוכלת את אותו דבר, לא מנסה שום דבר חדש, משעממת את עצמי למוות באוכל שהחיך שלי מכיר, הבטן שלי יודעת והמוח שלי מקבל באהבה. בורינג.

וזהו, עוד יום עבר, אני הולכת לסיים ספר יפיפה שלימור השאילה לי "ביתו של שומר הזכרון" של קים אדוארדס, עוסק בסודות במשפחה ובילדה עם תסמונת דאון שנולדה חיה מתה ב 1964. כמהתי לכזה ספר. שמרגש, ומתאר את הסתיו בקנטאקי עד שיכולתי להריח את העלים האדומים שנשרו מהעץ. מקסים.

מזכיר לי שיש 45 אירו בתלושי מתנה לקנות ספרים... אני חושבת על "אדמה חדשה" של אקהרט טולה (אופרה המליצה בחום) ואני חושבת להתחיל עם מרסל פרוסט. איפה איפה איפה חנויות הספרים של ניו יורק כשאני צריכה אותן? כאן יש ספרות באנגלית בחנויות הענק, ובדרך כלל יש את הזבל הפופולרי.

סטראנד אהובתי...

בקייץ הבא אני טסה לניו יורק. סגור.

רציתי עוד לספר על ארוחת ערב ביום שבת עם טינה, חברה חדשה ותלמידה לעברית שלי שהתאהבה בשקשוקה ושתתה איתנו יין עד שלוש בבוקר.

רציתי לספר על ברביקיו אצל לימור עם הבוס הגדול גדול החדש שאולי אעבוד בשבילו (דוקטורט בתחת שלי אני צריכה כסף) ושיש לו משפחה מקסימה וכמה היה לי כייף.

ורציתי לספר על פגישה עם בחור שרוצה ללמוד עברית וקיבל את הטלפון שלי מתלמיד אחר ונפגשנו לקפה ודיברנו כאילו אנחנו מכירים לפחות עשר שנים.

רציתי גם לומר ששני חברים שנסעו לארץ התקשרו בוכיים ביום שבת כי היה ט' באב ולא היה להם איפה לאכול והם לא ידעו שהכל יהיה סגור. רודריגו אמר "אפילו ה איי אמ פי אמ סגור!" והיה מזועזע כמו אוחצ'ה טובה. שלחתי אותם ליפו. שמעתי מחבר שלישי שעושה התמחות ב"יד ושם" שהם באו לבקרו בירושלים והלכו ל"יד ושם".
הייתי רוצה לשמוע את החוויה שלהם במקום.

ממתי דברים סגורים בתשעה באב?

רציתי ורציתי.
אבל מול הרצון הזה עומד "ביתו של שומר הזכרון"

אז רצונות לחוד ומחשבות לחוד.

נוסעת הבייתה עוד 30 ימים
ליאונרד כהן עוד 80 ימים

אנשים שצריכים אריות הם האנשים הכי ברי מזל בעולם...

י

I am 32!!! Yoooooooooooooo Ho!

2008-08-04T11:33:00.013+02:00

Who am I kidding?
I am 20 and 12.

So, August 2nd!

I always try to see if I remember where I had my birth days in the past few years;

2004 in NYC - I went to "Spice" with Noa and Adam then to the Wha? of course.
2005 in Eilat - I went to La Cuccina with mom, dad and Peps.
2006 in Frankfurt - first month in Germany, I was with M's family.
2007 in Hamburg - M took me to the Aquarium, was raining like crazy.

2008- Ta daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

We started by partying with our gay brothers and lesbian sisters (echt!)

No, these were not really Israelis, just Israel's supporters.

Then, after a nice sunny afternoon I had a nice evening that started with that:

Yes yes, you are right, this is M's dish, not mine, mine is animeless, however, it is not as colorful as M's :)

Then, full from Sushi (if there is such thing) and happy from a phone call from GIL, we went to a nice place where I spent my night with so many cool people that made me feel like I am kind of home (Flickr name upon request).

I had tones of fun, got lots of cool presents, met many friends and was happy that these friends are finally meeting the other friends...

I left my own birthday "thing" early, I did want to stay with the others, get drunk and then have a late night dinner.
But I could not.
Was dead, tired, sick sick sick, but... very happy!

Until next year...

דרך אגב, לאלה שמכירים אותי בצורה מוחלטת, תראו מה קראתי בוואי נט על מזל אריה.
נכון, אני יודעת, תת רמה - אבל באמת, תקראו ותאמרו לי, לא כתבו את זה עליי?!

תחזית שנתית או וואטאבר למזל אריה - מי אני מה אני וכיו"ב?

ותנו לי לצטט:

"לרוב יש בהם רגישות וחיבה מיוחדת לילדים ובעלי חיים. "
"הם יצירתיים וזקוקים לתשומת לב"
"מאוד חברותיים ואוהבים להיות בחברת אנשים, הם אוהבים גם לדבר ולעיתים אף עסוקים בנטייה לדבר על עצמם"
"הם אוהבים להיות במרכז תשומת הלב והרעיון של פרסום והכרה עושה להם טוב"

טוב מספיק.
תמשיכו.
י

כל יום שני

2008-07-14T15:25:00.005+02:00

כל יום שני אצלי מלווה בהחלטות (לא) חסרות תקדים אך מעוררות מוטיבציה. כל יום שני אותו סיפור. במהלך סוף השבוע אני מבשלת את אותם רעיונות (שוב ושוב, אותם רעיונות) ואז מגיע יום שני ואני מחליטה "הנה! זה היום השני שבו הכל יתחיל". זה היום בו אני אתחיל להגשים את מה שתיכננתי מהרגע הראשון שלי בגילמן.

ביום שבת עשינו מסיבת סיום לשיעור עברית של המתחילים. היה נחמד ביותר, הכנתי שקשוקה בארבע מחבתות מ-26 ביצים. שיא עולמי חדש! הם נהנו מאוד וגם אני, שתינו הרבה הרבה הרבה יין (שילמתי על כך ביוקר ביום ראשון) קשקשנו, צחקנו, אכלנו כדורי שוקולד (אני אני אני הכנתי!) - כאמור, היה מקסים! (וקיבלתי ספר במתנה שזה הדבר הכי כייפי בעולם כמובן).

הפרופסור שלי הצטרף גם הוא, חלק מהקבוצה חשב שזה הזוי ואני חשבתי שזה מתוק ומקסים וכל הכבוד לו. הוא בא כתלמיד בקבוצה לעברית ולא כפרופסור שלי. בשלב מסויים הוא ושטפן, אחד מהתלמידים שעובד על דוקטרט גם (במשפטים), "דחקו" אותי לפינה לי והתחלנו דיון על כמה חשוב שאני אתחיל לזוז.
לכתוב.
ללכת לספרייה,
לחקור.
לקרוא.
להעלות רעיונות.

העיקר לעשות משהו.

הפרופסור הסכים שזה מאוד קשה כאשר יש עבודה בבוקר, אבל אם אני רוצה מילגה שתאפשר לי להתרכז בכתיבה אני צריכה אקספוזה ועד שזה לא יקרה אני אהיה חייבת להמשיך לעבוד בבקרים.

הם צודקים. כמה שהם צודקים (גם באומרם "שני שיעורי ספורט בשבוע זה בסדר גמור").

ואני.
אני כבר מושפלת.
ארבעה סמסטרים ולא עשיתי שום דבר.
כלום כלום כלום כלום כלום (ואל תאמרו לי "קראת הרבה וזה חשוב").

אולי זה לא מה שאני רוצה לעשות אבל אזי אני נשארת עם האפשרות האחרת ל "מה אני אעשה בחיים" וזו האפשרות של "כלום". הדוקטרט הזה הוא הדרך היחידה שלי. היחידה. טוב נו, יש את אפשרות ה"אני אכתוב רב מכר" שכולנו יודעים שלא יקרה (במיוחד עלמה) ויש את אפשרות ה"אני אזכה בלוטו ולא אצטרך לעבוד בכלל" וזה כולנו יודעים שלא יקרה כי אני לא ממלאה לוטו.

שורה תחתונה: אין אפשרויות.

וכמו בכל יום שני, קמתי, ואמרתי לעצמי: היום!!! היום את לומדת, אני לא רוצה לשמוע "יש כביסה / כלים / קניות / לסדר לארגן בלה בלה בלה" את הולכת אחרי העבודה מייד לספרייה ואת נשארת שם עד שיעור הספורט שיש לך בשבע בערב. את מנסה לכתוב משהו, משהו!!! לא משנה מה!

כבר אתמול בלילה חלק מהתוכנית קרס: אני לא לוקחת איתי את המחשב על הגב על האופניים לעבודה. תירוץ לא רע הא? (אני מניחה שהתירוץ הזה לא יחזיק מעמד זמן רב, אני רק על האופניים כל היום-אולי תיק חדש למחשב ישנה משהו?). אחרי שהחלק הזה נכנס למשוואה, הגיע הקטע של: "אני צריכה לחזור הבייתה לעזור לפפס בעבודת תירגום שלה" (דורותי פארקר - "הנה אנחנו").

בכל מקרה, חלק ניכר מהתוכנית עוד קיים: את חוזרת הבייתה (אחרי הארכת הספר ששכחת להחזיר לאוניברסיטה - חצופה! שלושה ימים איחור!) אוכלת, מסיימת את התרגום לפפסה ומתחילה להזיז את גלגלי המוח החלודים האלה שלך שכולם כל כך האמינו בהם מאז שאת בת ארבע ואת היחידה שקולטת שהם לא ממש זזים כבר הרבה זמן.

והנה התוכנית מתמוטטת לגמריי: אני רק אבדוק אי מיילים (ארבעה חדשים), אני רק אענה על שלושה מהם, אני רק אדבר קצת עם פפס, אני רק אבדוק את אתרי החדשות שלי (נכון לעכשיו חמישה) אני רק אציץ בפורום (אין חדש) אני רק אבדוק את הבלוג של הילדים (מתוקים! סיימו חטיבת ביניים), אני רק אעשה חיפוש בגוגל על איזה ספר שרציתי, אני אחפש איזה אתר על דוקטורטים, אני רק אזמין תור לרופאה (חייבת בדיקות דם),אני רק אשלם חשבון אונליין, אני רק אקשקש קצת עם חברה במסנג'ר (היא הייתה צריכה עיצה),אני רק אכין טוסט עם ריבה, אני רק אשקה את העציצים במרפסת, נו באמת, תנו לי לכתוב איזה פוסט, זו גם כתיבה לא?!

וזהו. הכל התמוטט.

עכשיו אני רק חושבת על איך להעביר את הזמן עד לשיעור ספורט הכפול הערב.

או שאני אלך לקרוא קצת.
כן.
הולכת.
לקרוא.
בסלון אבל!
ואני מכינה לאטה מקיאטו ולא אכפת לי כלום!

ומי זו המגיבה מהפוסט הקודם שאני לא מכירה את הניק אבל בלב הרגשתי שאני מכירה כבר הרבה זמן?

י

עברית שפה יפה

2008-07-11T12:08:00.011+02:00

שלומות!

אני נקרעת בין הרצון לכתוב משהו בשפה שכל כך טבעית לי וכייפית לי לבין להמשיך את המסורת של הבלוג המעפן הזה ולכתוב בשפה שתרזה תוכל לקרוא באיסטנבול (היא עובדת בקונסוליה שירו עליה שלשום), שהחבר של נעימה מניו יורק שגר בבנגלדש יוכל לקרוא גם וכן הלאה והלאה (ניקו באיטליה או בעצם הוא בצרפת כבר, הפרופסור מסיאול, דן,והייתי מאוד רוצה להאמין שבראד קורא כאן, הוא נהג לקרוא כאן...).

פלוס מסויים - עכשיו ההורים של מם והדוד שלו לא יכולים להבין את מה שאני כותבת!
יו הו. איך איך איך עשיתי את הטעות ונתתי להם לינק לבלוג הזה? לא משנה. משלמים על טעויות.

אפרופו טעויות: היה לי מקרה לא נעים עם השכן הרע שלי, קומה מתחתינו, שצרח עליי בזמנו בגלל מכונת הכביסה שעשתה רעש בשעה מאוחרת (לא באשמתי, מם לא שם לב לשעה והפעיל אותה) וביום שני האחרון דפק לי על התקרה כי התקלחתי מאוחר (מה לעשות? שיעור הספורט נגמר בתשע ועד שהגעתי הבייתה ועד שהכנתי ארוחת ערב ואז הייתי צריכה לעבור לפפסה על העבודה על "ברית הבריונים" ואב"א אחימאיר - פתאום היה חצות.

מסתבר שאסור להתקלח אחרי עשר (ככה כתוב בחוזה כי זו דירה ישנה אבל עכשיו כבר מצאתי פסיקת דין שמרשה כל עוד אני לא מתקלחת יותר מ 30 דקות) בכל מקרה - האהבל דפק לי על התקרה (כי קשה לו לתקשר עם בני אדם בצורה הרגילה) וחלקתי את המידע המאוד חשוב הזה עם פורום מסויים. מה אני אומר לכם, לא סימנתי בהודעה שלי שאני מבקשת לא לפרסם אותה בעמוד הראשי והיא אכן הגיעה לשם ובעקבותיה הגיע המיץ של הזבל, כל מיני ארחי פרחי שטענו שאני "ישראלית מחוצפת, חסרת תרבות שלא מתחשבת בשכנים שלה, לא מתנהגת בנימוסף מביישת את הדרכון הישראלי ולא פלא ששונאים את הישראלים בעולם" - הכל בגללי, הנושא השני שהכאיב לרבים שלא מכירים אותי היא העובדה שמם הוא לא יהודי. ואני שואלת ממתי נהיינו כאלה פאשיסטים? רק יהודים זה טוב הא? איך דעות הזויות, חשוכות ופרימטיביות מכתיבות סדרי חיים במדינה? זאת ועוד, איך כאלה דעות הפכו לנורמה?

אי לכך ובהתאם לזאת פתאום דווקא שמחתי שאני כאן במדינה בה השכן כועס שאני מתקלחת מאוחר כי זה עושה רעש אבל לא מעיז לומר לי "לאיזו דת / גזע / קבוצה אתנית / לאום שייך החבר שלך?".
אוף, במחשבה שנייה זה היה משפט חכם אם לא הייתי בגרמניה....

בכל מקרה, שבוע נוסף חלף לו לאיטו, שוב לא עשיתי כלום חוץ מללכת באובססיביות למועדון ספורט. בשבוע שעבר עשיתי 11 שיעורים בשישה ימים, נכון לעכשיו אני הכי נהנת בבלט ובקארדיו שגורם לי להזיע מפלים. יש גם מורה מסקימה בקארדיו שאני מאוד אוהבת, היא תמיד עושה דברים מצחיקים, אתמול, למשל, עשינו קטע שלא היה מבייש את "לורד אוף דה דאנס" - הרשמתי אפילו את עצמי. הערב אני הולכת לניה (תגגלו אם שכחתם מה זה) ובלט, אני מקווה שהמורה לא תצעק עליי בחביבות ההונגרית שלה "תחת פנימה!!!" מה אני יכולה לעשות שבלט זה לא בגנים שלי? לפחות אני מנסה! מזל שזה קורס למתחילים ויש לה סבלנות.

אתמול היה שיעור העברית האחרון עם קבוצת המתחילים (קורס שני). הם כאלה מקסימים, כל כך נהנתי ללמד אותם. שלושה מהם נוסעים לישראל באוגוסט, אחד להתמחות ב"יד ושם" ושנים אחרים, מלכות אמיתיות, נוסעים לטייל בארץ, אחד מהם קצת קתולי וחייב לראות את בית לחם :) בכל מקרה, מחר אנחנו חוגגים אצל אחד מהם את סיום הקורס, הבטחתי להכין איתם שקשוקה, ואני מתכוונת להכין גם כמות כדורי שוקולד לגדוד וחושבת לצרוב להם את האלבום של יעל נעים, את כל שאר העברית שיש לי כבר צרבתי להם.
אחת מהמטלות הסופיות של הקורס הייתה לכתוב לי גלוייה. אני מדברת על חבר'ה שלמדו בסך הכל עד כה 19 שיעורי עברית והתחילו מאפס. אתמול בלילה קראתי את הגלויות וגרוני נחנק, עיני דמעו, כמה התגאתי בהם!!! הם עשו עבודה יפה, כל כך אמיתית. אני יודעת, זה גם מעיד שאני מורה טובה, אבל אני חייבת לתת את רוב הקרדיט לחבר'ה האלה שרוצים ללמוד עברית ועושים את זה עם כל כך הרבה אהבה, ממש ככה.

בשבוע הבא מם ואני נסע לעיר בה מלמד אביו שמארגן מסיבה באוניברסיטה שהפכה למסורת, כל קייץ, זו תהיה המסיבה השלישית שלי מאז שאני בגרמניה (ד"א - סגרתי כאן שנתיים השבוע. שנתיים פור גודס סייק לאן הזמן טס ומה קרה?) בחזרה למסיבה: נסע לשם לוויקנאד, תמיד נחמד לי בעיירה הימיבניימית הזו והמסיבה בדרך כלל מהנה ביותר מה גם שיש לנו פס חופשי (מעצם היותנו "עם המארגן" ) לבירה ולאוכל (והשנה הובטחה מזרקת שוקולד לקינוח!!!).

בשבת שעברה גיליתי מקום מניקור/פדיקור חדש בשכונה, האסיאתיות שעובדות שם החזירו אותי בפלאשבקים מהירים לתקופה מדהימה בניו יורק בה מניקור אצל הקוריאניות היה ההיי לייט של ימי החופש שלי מהעבודה (געגועים ל"קפה וואה?") ונעשה אחת לשבוע. החלטתי לתת למקום צ'אנס (למרות שהן וייטנאמיות) ולמרות שיש להן עוד הרבה ללמוד, בשביל להגיע לרמה של המניקור בניו יורק, היה חביב למדי (ומי שתוהה מה כבר יש ללמוד: אולי לקנות לאקים מחברה מקצועית ולא כאלו שעולים 2 אירו בחנות הסמוכה? סתם דוגמא).

התמיכה של בלוגספוט בעברית לוקה בחסר, אני מתנצלת מבעוד מועד על כל פסיק ונקודה שלא מופיעים במקומם!

והנה, לסיום, מם החליט להראות לי עד כמה הוא אוהב אותי (לא שהיו לי ספקות) והוציא את מיטב כספו על שני כרטיסים להופעה של לאונרד כהן באוקטובר. אני מאוד מקווה שנהנה עד מאוד מכיוון שהם עלו הון תועפות (עדיף שלא תדעו) והם גם מהווים את מתנת יום ההולדת שלי (חודש הבא) לכן אני מקווה שמר כהן יתן את המקסימום. למרות שמה כבר יש לי לצפות מאדם בן 73 ששר כל כך הרבה שנים? תמיד צחקנו, ינון ואני או שזה היה עידו, שאם אי פעם נרצה לנסות סמים ממריצים או טריפים זה אמור להיות לפני הופעה של לאונרד כהן ורצוי שהוא יערוך אותה בבוקר ברגע שאנחנו קמים מהשינה כי אחרת נרדם. נכון, הוא איטי, מיושן, מלנכולי אבל הוא אגדה בעייני ואני מעריכה את המילים המדהימות שהוא מצייר יחד לתמונה עוצרת נשימה שלפעמים גורמת לי לבכות.

את רוב השירים שאני ממש אוהבת הוא כתב לפני שבכלל נולדתי.
י

It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening...

L. Cohen

2008-07-08T21:48:00.003+02:00

Coming to Hamburg in October.
We got tickets!

114 days to go :)

So happy.

iPOD etc

2008-07-06T17:48:00.007+02:00

This is Leonardo, my first iPOD.
It was my birthday present for myself in 2004.
20 Giga. White. With engraving.

You would expect something so expansive (was like 300 dollars) to last a long time, let's say, forever.
But no.
In the past year the battery was dying and I could not use it.

So, stupid me, here is my new iPOD, Jedi:

80 Giga.
Black.
No engraving.

(and if you ask yourself why do I name my iPODs it means you don't have one!).
-------------------------------------

Last night we took the movie "A Mighty Heart" about the Daniel Pearl murder from 2002.
I cried for hours.
It is personal; he was beheaded because he was Jewish, not because he was an American journalist.

The movie touched me in such a way that I could not stop crying.
I knew they killed him, yet once it was done I refused to believe it.

Here is the link to Dani's foundation.

-------------------------------------

We did some shoulder stands in Yoga today, result: headache. Stretching class was canceled because the teacher did not show up (never happened to me) so instead I had a coffee with a new friend I met there today. Was nice and fun.

Although it is not as cold as it used to be, the sun refuses to stay and in the past week it rained like crazy more than a few time. And I mean, like crazy! thunders, lightnings, lots and lots of rain.

I guess this is it, of course I can keep blablaing about the manicure I got yesterday (the first one since NYC), about the new furniture we received (new amazing writing desk, new sofa, new small closet and a new drawer), I can go on about the fact that last night a night butterfly entered the apartment. M was not happy. He has the fear that a butterfly will fly under his shirt.
Guess what, although I never believed something like that could happen... the butterfly disappeared and in a few minutes I felt something under my long Pajama pants.
GUESS WHAT?!
There was the butterfly.
After I calmed down from the nightmare I was LOLing with M.
What are the chances? Na Ja.

Hebrew sessions are almost over, only one more with the sweet beginners class.
We are having a party next Saturday, we will make Shakshuka.

Coming soon, my own tomatoes!

Sincerely, L. Cohen.

2008-07-05T10:51:00.003+02:00

L. Cohen, one of my favorite artists is touring again after more than 15 years.
In Germany he will give only one show, in a city far far away from Hamburg: Loerrach.
It is almost in Switzerland. Tickets are all sold out and are more than 200 euro on Ebay.
Next Saturday he is in Amsterdam, closer... but, sold out as well, and I also have my Hebrew class dinner.

I guess I will never see L. Cohen.

The next "clip" is not an original clip, someone created it on Youtube.

A Thousand Kisses Deep, AKA Boogie Street (from the album "Ten New Songs"):

Mom's Song

2008-07-03T19:05:00.000+02:00

She killed me!!! :)

Amnesty International

2008-06-29T21:27:00.001+02:00

I got the link from Ynet:

Bring The Boys... Back Home...

2008-06-22T11:18:00.013+02:00

All photos from WIKI

Gilad Shalit
Eldad Regev
Udi Goldwasser

In May 21st, 1985, Israel took one of the most controversial moves ever.

For the first time, Israel, a democratic nation, was negotiating with a terror organization, the infamous Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine - General Command (PFLP-GC).

This terror organization used to be a part of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) headed by George Habash. Habash, a Christian Doctor, had the idea of an active Marxist terror organization. His organization was in charge for some of the brutal actions against Israel back in the 1970's, including the massacre in Lod Air Port in 1972, where 3 Japanese terrorists, part of Habash's organization, killed 24 people and injured 71. Out of the three terrorists, only one was caught alive, Kōzō Okamoto, he was sentenced to three life times in jail. Okamoto's father, who was in such a shock from his son's action, sent a letter to Golda Meir, requesting the execution of his son (sorry, no death penalty in Israel. We only executed one sub human person once, Adolf Eichmann, in 1962 - I personally would like to execute some other criminals but I must wear the mask of enlightenment, I am, after all, in Germany).

It was in 1968 when Ahmed Jibril, a terrorist from Habash's organization, left the PFLP and founded the PFLP -GC.

As a Muslim it was easier for Jibirl and his organization, although leftist and secular, to establish connections with the Hizboallah, Iran and the Islamic Jihad, unlike Habash who was Christian and Marxist.

In May 1985, the Israeli government signed the "Jibirl Agreement" with the PFLP - GC. Helping in the negotiations were the Red Cross and the Austrian government.

The deal: Israel would release 1,150 prisoners in exchange for three Israeli hostages, all were kidnapped in the first years of the Lebanon war.

Even if you do not know math you can tell that this is the worst deal in the world.
Not just that Israel was dealing with a terror organization, she was basically kneeling on her knees for the most unrealistic deal.

Israel was showing the world that she would do anything possible, even suicidal, to bring her boys back home. And the terrorists were sitting quietly, learning and learning, waiting for the right moment to do the same thing again, and again, and again.

More than 600 prisoners that were released in this horrible deal were to stay in the occupied territories and most of them became key players in the struggle against Israel (such as Ahmed Jasin and Jibril's nephew), also among the released prisoners:

* Kōzō Okamoto, who lives insanely happily ever after life somewhere in Lebanon or North Korea.

* Ahmed Abres, one of the murderers of the Haran family, that in 1979 was attacked by four terrorists, headed by Samir Kuntar (back then he was not even 17). The family was butchered by the terrorists. Only the mother, Smadar, survived, hiding with her 2 years old daughter, Yael, who was chocked to death while the mother was trying to keep her quiet. The father, Dani, 28, was shot in the head in front of the eyes of his 4 years old daughter, Einat. The terrorists then smashed her head with her rock. Samir Kuntar was caught and he is kept in an Israeli jail since then. For us he is the "big negotiating card" (might be released soon).

* Another animal to be released was one of the murderers from the "Coastal Road Massacre"( כמובן, אוטובוס כביש החוף). In 1978, a unit from the Fatah (the Palestinian National Liberation Movement, back then a bloody terror organization, today a political party opposition to Hamas) landed with rubber boats on the shore of Ma'agan Michael (a kibbutz in Israel). They murdered a nature photographer, Gail Rubin, and then stopped a bus.

On the bus was a group of Eged employees. Eged is the transportation cooperative of Israel and the employees with their families were on their way back home after a day trip. The terrorists started shooting from the moving bus all over, on one point they stopped another bus (that was chasing them, trying to help the people in the first bus) and took the people from the original bus on the new bus and kept driving while shooting at people, cars and the security forces.

When the police was able to stop the car they were engaged in a shooting fight, the terrorists, feeling the end, massacred some of the bus passengers (35 people) and then set it on fire with the people inside. 71 people were injured.

My mom's sister, Nina, and her husband, Amnon, were on that bus, they both survived. Nina escaped with a small boy she saved him. His parents, however, were killed.

So we released these people... criticism on the government was running high in the Israeli public. How can we release so many murderers for the return of only three people? what about the other hostages they have? why do we release the murderers with blood on their hands? why do we even talk to them? why do we negotiate with a terror organization? Why why and why.

Nowadays, the Israeli government is in the same position.
This time Hizboallah is holding two soldiers, their abduction was the reason and the casus belli for the Second Lebanon war (2006).

Ehud (Udi) Goldwasser, he will be 33 next month, and Eldad Regev, now 28.

Another boy we are fighting to see is Gilad Shalit, I wrote about him before, he was kidnapped by Hamas. Just to remind you, Hamas is the political power that controls Gaza. This group was elected in the so called democratic elections they had. They got him. That's for the next time you tell me "you have a partner to talk with".

Gilad will be 22 in August, and I hope he will not spend his birthday with these animals again.

The Jibril Agreement made Israel very weak. Vulnerable. It made Israel the nation that would cross seas and climb mountains to bring its boys back home.

Such was the case with the three soldiers who were kidnapped a few years ago and we gave almost everything we could to Hizboallha just to get pieces of their bodies. These three soldiers, Benny Avram, Adi Avitan and Omar suad, were kidnapped on October 2000, millions of failures in one mission and three young boys are gone.

Only on 2004, after years of emotional roller coaster for the poor families (who doesn't remember Benny Avram's dad, this vrave amazing dad, with his sadness...?), the maniac from Lebanon (that would be Nasrallah) made a deal with us.
We got pieces of bodies.
They were killed on the day of the failed mission.
What a disaster.

A few years later we also saw the attack of Hizboalla on the soldiers, on tape.
The UNIFL ( United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon) soldiers (from India) were taping the whole incident, doing nothing.
NOTHING. (for the next time you tell me the UN worth anything).

In the last deal we also got back a so called Israeli businessman, Tannenbaum his name. In a supposedly drug deal gone bad he was kidnapped and sadly he was broguht back alive. For this little piece of $%T we did so much.
We released more than 400 prisoners, including some with a great importance to "future deals" (meaning... maybe, high hopes, Ron Arad deal?), we gave them back Mustafa Dirani (a terrorist whose people captured Ron Arad in 1986). We also released Abdel Karim Obeid, a Hizboallah leader that we kidnapped in 1989.

What a circle.
But I must say "they started".

We will do anything for our soldiers... A very famous slogan that Ben Gurion coined back in the days, assured the Jewish moms, the Hebrew moms, that when sending their kids to the army they are in good hands. Ya right. Tell it to Ron Arad's mom, it is still killing me that she, who spent her life fighting to hear about her beloved son, died of cancer a few years ago, still not knowing anything about he son's fate

Today's government is a joke.
A sad joke.
On the public's behalf.

In addition, we are stupid (not me, not you, the Israeli government) to get abused in political games. The three last soldiers were brought back in exchange for very "expansive" prisoners. Apparently the new deal who we are about to sign would put Israel on the inferiority position, there are new demands from both Hamas and Hizboalla, they are squeezing us till the last drop of blood. They are using our weakness. And the army? I just heard they are attmeping on annoincing Goldwasser and Regev as "dead". Meaning, they are not willing to sign the deal, or they know something we don't. איזו בושה. Today, the plea, served to the high court of Israel, by Noam Shalit, Gilad's dad, was rejected. The father calimed that opening the borderes with Gaza and providing some benefits to the Palestinians will take his son's freedom a step back. They need to eat there. No doubt. But they are the people who voted for Hamas.

Guess what, the plea was rejected.

Do we have any options?

No.

My heart goes to the families of Gilad, Udi and Eldad.

We know for sure that Gilad is alive, not doing very well but alive. I hope the other two are alive as well. I hope that the brave wife of Udi, Karnit, who actually tried confronting AhmadiNejad in a UN gathering (but of course was kicked out by the stupid UN security), I hope she would see him soon. I hope him mom, Micky, would see him soon. I hope the amazing parents of Gilad would see him soon. I hope Eyal, Eldad's brother, will be able to hug him soon.

I hope we would all see them soon.
Alive.

Edit, 24/6/2008
An interesting piece from Ron Ben Ishay (a journalist for security matters), I guess he is the only one who could have explained it so well.

-------

Yesterday M and I took a bike trip to the ancient Jewish cemetery in Altona. Was raining, and dark, and wet, and very powerful. When hiding from the pouring rain I noticed something moving on the ground in front of us, not knowing what it was it took me a few seconds to be amazed by all the mushrooms that popped out after the rain.
Just like in the saying "כמו פטריות אחרי הגשם", it was so cool!

After the cemetery we went to Nikolai's Church (not a real church, it was ruined in the war and now it is a memorial site), they were hosting an interesting exhibit about Antisemitism, Antizionism and the critic of Israel. I already visited this exhibit alone on Wednesday, but want M to see it (they are closing it on the 26th), I want M to see it so he will never again tell me that I am paranoid about "the entire world hating the Jews".

------

European soccer championship, could not care less, yet spent the last German game at the UNI with 3000 of excited Germans, SCREAMING and partying and dancing and like WOW.
This Wednesday the Germans are playing against the Turkish team, might be a big thing to both sides, the Turkish community in Germany is huge and some people expecting lots of problems in case of a defeat. Or victory.

I think nothing bad will happen, or so I hope.
It is after all M's birthday on Wednesday!

------

And if I am already writing, I want to tell you how I was let down by an American couple who contacted me for a "Jewish Hamburg Tour". I arranged it all, researched, got ready, spent time on it, met people who helped (like my student H.), I even gave up on sport to do some "tour matters". And... after a month of emailing me and driving me nuts, they decided not to come to Hamburg. And they let me know about it less than 48 hours before the tour.

How can I spell disappointment?

--------

And to the shallow corner:

I bought Ballet shoes!

I want, no sorry, I NEED, a new Ipod.

I have tomatoes in my garden!

I am going to sleep!

I Know...

2008-06-15T17:52:00.011+02:00

I know I am supposed to write how was Israel and what have I done and how did I feel and who did I meet and what did I do.

I am also supposed to update about my time since coming back to Hamburg; work, teaching, M, sport, friends, the return of the winter etc (I will only say that I started taking Ballet classes...).

I am also aware of the fact that I need to write what I think about things out there (like the European Championship, the political situation of Israel, books I have read lately etc etc).

However, I do not feel like it.
All I wanna do is post a photo of my Strawberry (former post).

אולי זה רק משבר קטן וזה חולף... אולי אני פשוט נהייתי קצת עייף...

(free translation: maybe it is just a small crisis that would pass away, maybe I just became a bit tired).

In any case, here is, little by little, My Garden:

From left: Nana (Mint), Lavender and Rosemarin:

From left: I have no idea, and I have no idea.
Red and Purple, what else do I need?

Tiny roses (will bloom soon) and other flowers:

My purple Basil, smells like heaven:

My tomatoes bush!
It's growing bigger everyday so I had to tie it:

This is my new Begonia (from the market on Friday):

This is a tiny Fuchsia plant, Noa and I used to have them in NYC:
I always loved the way they look:

Ok, this is not my Garden...
Two jars with homemade pickled veggies.
Dad's recipe.
They came out GREAT!

And the lion on the left is the new painting from my dad.
I requested a Lion ages ago and was happy to see it when I visited home last month.
Of course that I broguht him with me, so now he is next to my bed.

Wishing you all a good week!

I have a Strawberry!

2008-06-15T17:41:00.001+02:00

One.
But I do have a Strawberry!

ים זה כייף

2008-05-21T18:28:00.004+02:00

אני בים.
כבר כמה ימים שאני בים.
הגעתי ביום שבת.
טסתי ישיר מהמבורג לבן גוריון, ארבע שעות טיסה, זוג רוסי יהודי לידי, מקשקים איתי בגרמנית.
שכחתי להזמין ארוחה צמחונית.
אני רעבה והסוכריות גומי כבר עשו לי כאב בטן.
אומרת שלום למרקוס בשדה תעופה לפני ההמראה, כבר שנה שלא נפרדנו לכל כך הרבה זמן. היו כמה ימים פה ושם, ארבעה ימים שלי בגנואה, סוף שבוע שלו אצל ההורים. אבל שבועיים?
קטן עלינו, שרדנו ככה שנה.

נוחתת בבן גוריון - איזה מוזר, כל השלטים בעברית ואת כולם אני מבינה:
"ברוכים הבאים לישראל"
"העישון אסור"
"אנא הצג את אישור הכניסה והדרכון"
"מזוודה ראשונה צפויה ב 01:04"

ובחוץ:
שונית, גיל ועידו.
עידו קונה לי דיאט קולה.
גיל מחייך.
אחרי חמש דקות אנחנו כבר צוחקים כאילו מעולם לא נפרדנו.

נוסעים לשונית לפרוק את המטען (מזוודה כמעט מלאה עוברת לשונית) אוכלים שקשוקה עולמית (היא מכינה יותר טעימה ממני) וחמוצים שהיא הכינה.
ואז לגיל.
קצת שיחות נפש של שני אנשים מאוד עייפים שכבר אין להם מה לומר בנושא שנחתם לפני חודש גם ככה.
ויישנו עד הצהריים.

טיסה לאילת מבן גוריון-שלושים וחמש דקות ואנחנו באילת.
אין ג'חנון אבל יש הרבה בורקסים ושני הורים שהזדקנו קצת מהשנה שעברה והעובדה הזו מדכאת אותי ומכאיבה לי וגורמת לי להזדקן.

ואז ים עד הערב ובמקרה נדיה שם עם אורי ואנחנו משחקים מטקות ואז שונית קורעת את כולם בשש בש.

ביום ראשון אני מבקרת את הילדים שלי. כמה התרגשות, וקצת בכי, והם מחייכים ומחבקים ומנשקים ומבקשים שאחזור ושואלים למה מרקוס לא בא (שאלה מספר אחת) ואז מתי אני מתחתנת . פשוט מקסימים.
הם גורמים לי יסוריי מצפון, למה עזבתי אותם? איך יכולתי כך לעזוב אותם להשאיר אותם לבד.

אחר כך שונית ואני יורדות לים עם אבטיח וגבינה בולגרית והמון ספרים ("היער" של הרלן קובן למשל, אני חייבת להעריץ את האופן בו הוא כותב ספרים. הקלילות שאותה אנשים נוטים לבלבל עם שטחיות. הטוויסטים והאינטריגות - לא רע בכלל). אנחנו בים עד הערב ואז מבלות קצת באגאדיר. לא אכלתי המבורגר פורטבלו מאז שגרתי בתל אביב. עוד משהו לא רע בכלל.

ביום שני יש לשונית יום הולדת. היא בת 26. אני זוכרת כשאני הייתי בת 26. השנה השנייה שלי בניו יורק. אנחנו מתחילות בארוחת בוקר בשיבולים, קצת שופינג שקוצר בקיני חדש והלם מוחלט מערסית עולמית שצרחה על המוכרת באחת החנויות. לא האמנתי.

אני לא מאמינה על הרבה דברים כאן בארץ. אני חושבת הרבה על מה יקרה אם הוריו של מרקוס יבואו לביקור. איך אני אסביר להם את הזבל ברחוב (באילת יש מנהג לא להכניס את שקית האשפה לפח אלא לתלותה על הפח מה שגורם לחתולים הנאה רבה), הנהיגה המופרעת של 80 אחוזים מהנהגים (כי השלט שאומר 50 מקסימום הוא רק בגדר המלצה).
יש הרבה דברים שמציקים לי ואת חלקם אני מדחיקה ואת רובם אני מכחישה וחלק קטן מצליח לצאת החוצה וזה עושה לי עוד יותר רע...

יותר מאוחר פפס ואני הולכות לצלול בנסיכה, תמיד צללנו הרבה, כילדות קטנות בכפר של רפי, אבל זה לא קורה לעיתים קרובות יותר. אנחנו צוללות קצת, מכירות זוג מתוק (הוא קנדי ישראלי, הוא צ'כי אוסטרי) מקשקשת קצת גרמנית. מעשנת גולוואז. הם אומרים לפפס שהיא נראת בת 16. מצחיקים.

בערב מסעדה עם אמא ואבא, כגודל הציפיות וכיו"ב, היה נהדר, נהנתי מאוד. אוכל מצויין: פוקצ'ה טרייה עם ממרח חצילים וחמאת שום בצד, פטריות ממולאות בגבינת עיזים ועשבי תיבול, סלט ירוק עם אגוזים, רבילוי נהדר וגם קצת שרימפס וקאלאמרי לאבא ואמא.

ביום שלישי שונית נוטשת אותי לטובת הלימודים (יא רייט) ואני הולכת לבית הספר שוב. המורות מקסימות, רובן נחמדות וכולן מתעניינות ושואלות. גם הילדים נהדרים, אלה שהתביישו ממני שלשום (בעיקר הבנים), אוזרים קצת אומץ היום ובאים לחבק ולתת נשיקה ולשאול "איך בגרמניה" ו"מתי את חוזרת" ועוד שאלות שחלקן נובעות מעניין וחלקן ממבוכה. אחד הילדים האהובים עליי ניגש בביישנות ומחבק אותי. הוא כבר בגובה שלי. פעם, לפני שנתיים, הוא היה קטנטן. הוא עדיין מצטיין הוא מאשר לי.

אחרי הלימודים נדיה מזמינה אותי לצהריים ואנחנו מקשקשות קצת, לשנייה אני מרגישה כאילו לא עברו שנתיים ושוב, נדיה ואני אחרי יום מתיש עם הכיתות שלנו בורחות לאיזו ארוחה נעימה וקרירה שמהווה מפלט מהחום הלוהט של אילת.

יותר מאוחר אני מצטרפת לזוהר בחוף של המעבדה הימית, אמא שלה עובדת שם. זוהר עזבה את גרמניה לא מזמן. הזהות בין שני הסיפורים שלנו והעובדה ששתינו אילתיות חיברה בנינו המון למרות שהיא היא התגוררה בקצה השני של גרמניה. אנחנו מקשקשות על החוף השקט שיש בו אולי שלושה חוקרים מספר שעות ואז אני ממשיכהל"זהב" לסיים את "היער". ואז אני מתחילה את האחרון של ג'ונתן ספרן פוייר. מעדיפה את אישתו על פניו ללא ספק.

היום אני הולכת עם אמא לסופר לפני הים: משמשים, אבטיח אדום בלי גרעינים, ענבים, נקטרינות, מיץ אשכוליות אדומות, שניצל חדש של טבעול, פיתות טריות, חטיף טוויסט, סלט כרוב אדום. געגועים הם לפעמים דבר חומרני.

אני בים מאחת עד שבע בערב, קוראת שוחה נרדמת (רק לעשר דקות) וחוזר חלילה.
לידי: קבוצה של צפרוקאים (צרפתים מרוקנים) הם פתחו שולחן עמוס בכל טוב והם שרים בקול גדול
"היום יום הולדת היום יום הולדת היום יום הולדת לאלבר - חג לה שמח וזר לה פורח"
אלבר שמח אבל אין לה זר.

והים מדהים ומרגיע. הוא שקט ונקי אבל אז אני רואה חושבת וזועמת על כל אותם ערסים טיפשים חסרי השכלה שלא מבינים שזה לא בסדר ללכלך. אני לא מבינה איך העם הזה יכול לירות לעצמו ברגל על בסיס יומי ולהנות מזה.

באור יהודה סגן ראש העיר אסף את הברית החדשה ועשה מדורה בה הם נשרפו. משום מה זה לא גרם לתגובה כלשהי בציבור הישראלי. אני רוצה לצרוח ולהקיא ולבכות באותו זמן. איך זה קורה? בקרוב השמאל בארץ יהיה מחוץ לחוק. ואני אשאר בגרמניה ולא אוכל לחזור.

בים עד שבע, מכינה תירס עכשיו, הולכת לנדיה עוד מעט.

ים זה כייף.י

Little darling...the smiles returning to the faces...

2008-05-12T22:23:00.008+02:00

Cloudless days arrived upon us and I am the happiest person alive.

Yesterday was wonderfully spent at the shore of the Nordsee, at M's Oma.
The parents were there, and the cool cousin and her mom.
Always a pleasure.
We were also reunited with Dr. Peter who is doing great.
He was thrilled seeing us again and so did we!

Walking in the mud.
The tide is crazy in the area.

The best homemade Salsa in the world.
Came with homemade Guacamole and Nachos and Cheese.
Mmmmmm... Nachos and Cheese...

Sunny day at the Alster.
Riding the whole day with M around town is the best thing to do.
The Hertz TV tower in the background.

Canal tour, so many bridges (more than in Venice), so many canals!

Going to work tomorrow, Wednesday day off and Thursday my vacation starts.
Flying home on Friday!

Yoooooohooooooooooooooooooo!

Anti Nazi Demo

2008-05-01T21:58:00.027+02:00

May 1st.
A good reason for Nazis to spread their filth.
And why not if they live in a democratic country that allows them to conduct a march.
They have nothing to be afraid of.
The police will protect them.

Just a short introduction:

May 1st is big in Germany. Not sure why. They have riots in Berlin, and many activists are using the day for creating a huge mess. Some demonstrate out of pure ideals of socialism, like back in 1886, the days of the Haymarket event in Chicago,(well, it was at May 4th but still the main reason for making May 1st the Workers day), it is also an ancient Pagan day and and this introduction is already longer than I want.

A Nazi group, not calling themselves Nazis and mainly not from Hamburg decided to have a "Socialists Nationalist" rally in Barmbek, which is an area in Hamburg with working class marches tradition.

Antifa is the name for every Anti Fascists group in Germany. It is not an organized group, just many different, diverse and extremely divided groups. They all hate Nazis and Fascists. Some also hate the USA and Israel (where they meet with the right wingers) some are hard core Pro Israel, some fight capitalism and imperialism, some wish to see Germany erased from the map, some express solidarity with the USA, some are fanatic socialists, some are anarchists, some are pure bored punks who look for things to burn, some are crazy hooligan kids, some are violent and some just want to fight the police as hard as they can... and so on and so on...

Some of them scares me.
In some ways some of them are the same as the fanatic on the "other side".

I was lucky enough to meet only intelligent, educated nice Antifa people, and lucky me, most of them belong to the Pro Israel group, which is small in the sea of Anti Israel/Zionism attitude in the German left.

The hard core Antifa is the "Black Block" - today I saw hundreds of them.
All look the same: dress head to toe in black, sun glasses, bandannas covering half of their face, the heads are covered with their hooded sweatshirts. They were so many today, so many that I was a bit overwhelmed by their unity, not in actions but in the image. Like an army of black teenagers. A wave with no color, with identical humans, all look the same in one way or another.

I met a few friends where the rally started. I was happy that my Hebrew students, who some are Antifa people, arrived with Israeli flags. You must understand that in the unwritten laws of Antifa Demos, brining a national flag is forbidden, that however did not bother two of my students who almost got into fights with other Antifa people because of the flags. H. a student of mine was wearing an IDF shirt!

The only national flags I have seen today were these of Israel; on the Israeli Holocaust day, where every single person in Israel is remembering the horror, on that day, me, with my German boyfriend, and loving friends and my national flag in Hamburg, Germany.
Against Nazis.

It was surreal I must say. A few times my heart beat was racing, I was afraid, I was mad, I was aggravated. A few times I felt a new unfamiliar sense boiling in me: violent, foreign feeling. A few times I want to actually beat the Nazis.
Me.
Who was raised with the mantra that violent is not an answer.

I had a few "clashes" with some antifa people. In the first, someone was trying to remove the sticker that I had saying "Stop Terror - support Israel". I made it clear to him that he would not touch me and that I have every right to express my ideas. There was no one to talk to. He and his group were not in the level of discussing things. In the second, an Antifa guy was not very friendly with H. my friend who brought the Israeli flag. He was screaming a lot against the expression of nationalism. Then he came to me, and then I smiled, and told him that I understand he is not happy, but it is my flag, and it is the Holocaust day and it is very important for me, today, out of all days to show the flag of my people (shortly: blah blah blah). In two minutes we became friends and he actually came to say goodbye and tell us he and his friends are about to go see if the guy with the Israeli flag up front needs help.

The demo was a mess. No organization, lots of riots, some water cannons (not where we were) and then, after hours of marching and trying to get close with the Nazi march, here they were. Some 1000 of them, with flags that are missing the Swastika, with their heads shaves and insane slogans, walking, marching, all under police protection.

The police was pushing us back and back but then the police was gone and H. and I were going fast, and without realizing it we were behind the Nazis, with a huge Israeli flag.

(just for the recored, H so far is three different people with a name starts with H.)

NAZI RAUS NAZI RAUS we screamed.
And then they turned back and saw us. H was asking me not to get closer, he was afraid they would hurt me. For some reason I was not afraid at all. It is not 1938 and Nazis DO NOT scare me. The Nazis saw us. They were watching, all I could do is give them the finger. And then the police realized they made a mistake and before we knew it they pushed us away (by that time we were like 30 people).

We did not do anything bad yet the police kicked us away.
We were so closed to them!
That was a great opportunity.
Opportunity for what?

No one tried getting to them. They are AFRAID. I could not believe that the 10,000 Antifa people are afraid! They are afraid from the police, from the Nazis, from damaging their future careers - all was taped by the police and most German wish to be state employees and for some reason it might jeopardizes your future if you go to an Anti Nazi rally.

2008 - people in Germany did not think it is a good idea to kick some Nazis asses.
And once again, the police, who gets orders from someone, think that they have the right to march and they need to be protected.

We saw some cars on fire on our way home and were told that the Nazis cars were set on fire, also the buses that brought them and someone also demolished the train who was supposed to take them back.

In the evening, back home, all showered and sun burnt, making Guacamole, we heard on the radio that the riots continued, the vandalism and fire, spread through out the city and we also heard the Nazis had no way to go back home and that more than 200 people were arrested today.

And now enough talking:
Buying a new camera tomorrow, cannot use M's ancient machine from 1755.

Barmbek is where the demo took place, businesses in the area sponsored the demo's flayer, showing support of the Anti Nazi rally.

This was a cool thing:
A group of elderly people with signs saying "Seniors for deescalation"
They were trying hard to be between the violent demonstrators and the police and to prevent escalation.
Later on tonight M told me they were from "The Patriotic Club" that was founded in 1765.

DAD! I want a burger.
Here, take a Communist flag.

Action:
And here are the Nazis.
Click on the photo to see it bigger.
Their flags are missing the Swastika.

More and more.
More than we thoguht.

And more:

Vandalism.
An explanation was given to me that the Anti Nazis' vandalism is in order to make the event very expensive for the city.
Meaning, the next time Nazis would ask to march, they will not get a permit.
Just a justification.
They have the right to march.

Smokey skies;
We heard later that someone set the railroads on fire so the Nazi train would not arrive.

That's how it looked like before we started to march:

Running away from the police:

The police is filming it all:

Police from the back:
Like Star Wars Storm Troopers.

I wish I could add the Darth Vader theme now:

Israeli Flags:
In front, two cool people with the flag, then, police, then, 40 meters away, Nazis.

And some more photos from Der Spiegel.
(the title reads: "Heavy Riots in Hamburg")

Going to sleep after a long long tiring day.
Confused.

Here it is:

2008-04-26T18:19:00.003+02:00

I am trying to see if I can update a month only in separate sentences:

Not is any specific order:

Ido is getting married.

Shunit, who is a good friend of mine since high school and with whom I had some of the craziest adventures of my life, lost her dad to cancer the day before yesterday. :(

Nico, my Italian friend, left Hamburg for good, I already miss him and wish him all the best in his new way.

R.E.M, one of my favorite bands in the whole wide world, who their albums in the last 10 years SUCKED BIG TIME, released a wonderful new album, Accelerate - get it get it get it!

Hebrew lessons are in full speed, lots of work and lots of frustrations sometimes, but overall good, I am impressed with the beginners' improvement.

Work: we had a really important meeting last week, the CEO arrived... I worked non-stop, on the PPT, on the agenda, stayed at the office late, worked on the weekend...

Too much work led me to a week OFF from work, which was so much fun, me me me me time.

I went to the market on Tuesday, was really nice, never had a chance to go there because it's during m working hours.

Planted the balcony FINALLY after a year :) I put some Rosemary and Lavender and some flowers and strawberries.

Still missing: Basil.

German twice a week is getting better, I think, I hope!

Got back to sport in full speed after the busy week at work.

Bicycle season is here, after last year's "I lost control and fell on my head and had some blood and hurt my back and neck badly" I am riding with a helmet. The only person above the age of 7 with a helmet in Hamburg...

Spring is definitely here, my week off had a great weather, lots of sun and some warm days with above 15 degrees at noon.

Last weekend we went to M's wonderful parents, his dad shaved after 30 years and we did not recognized him when he came to pick us up!

The mom made me Black Forest Cake! Was so so so good (see picture).

She also cooked us the first Spargel for the season. Spargel: white Asparagus, extremely delicious with short season.

Today two days of Spring Cleaning came to an end, the apartment is spotless, I cleaned like there is no tomorrow...

There is a Nazi Demo on May 1st, I might go with Imke to the Anti Nazi Demo. It is also the Holocaust day, May 1st this year.

Going home in 20 days. 20. 20. 20. DAYS! 20!!!! YO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO I am going home!!!
Can't wait! Want some sun and beach and food and mom and dad and Pepsa and friends, and Nona and Sun sun sun sun!

20 days!

I am sure there are like billions of things that I forgot, that's the good thing about blogs, no one cares anyway!

Just want to tell Stuart that I enjoy "The Pity of It All" by Amos Elon, very much.

I learned and am still learning so much from this book and therefore grateful for you recommendation!

The book tells the story of the German Jews, starting at 1743 - when Moses Mendelsshon walked through the Rosenthal gate which was designated for cattle and Jews, into Berlin, where Jews were not welcomed. Some years later, the same Moses Mendelssohn will be called "The German Socrates". The book ends at 1933, with the dark clouds of the Nazis.
I am somewhere in the middle, a bit after the Spring of Nations (1848).

With every chapter I am amazed to see how few were the Jews of German, how loyal and patriot were they, how much they loved the German Kultur and Bildung and how much they were rejected, time after time, riots after riots, no matter what they did...

I bought a Heine poems book (after reading the chapter about him).

And here is THE CAKE:

If tiredness

2008-04-18T14:49:00.003+02:00

was money, I was little rich bitch.
If tiredness was a good weight loss tool, I was a skinny little bitch.
If tiredness wasn't taking over me I would write a long update.

But I am tired.

Did you realize that you say "half an hour"? with "an" in front of the hour although it's a word that starts with H?

It is not...

2008-04-05T10:00:00.002+02:00

that I have nothing to say...

I just could not find the time to sit and write properly.

And now... I must go to work.

Later! I hope.

X)

Pertinacia et spes*

2008-03-26T11:08:00.005+01:00

I could not believe that this blog, of McCain's daughter, Meaghan, would make me want to be a daughter of a presidential candidate. As much as I like Clinton, I am sure McCain would win. Republican or not (whatever that means) , judging from his daughter's blog, he is a funny, fun smiling guy.

My day off, I woke p kind of late, but only because yesterday I had a long busy day, I worked, did English, went to NIA, then went food shopping, arrived home, ate a roll with cheese and run away to my Hebrew session that ended at 21:30.
Killing Tuesdays here I come.
I might give up on English.
Cannot keep going like that, it is just not fun!

Today's plan: going to the Afghan girl to get my eyebrows done (lucky you, I would save you the image of my eyebrows right now), later on the afternoon I have a German class (M helped me working on the homework for like 3 hours on Monday), after German I am going to CardioFit and then BBRP. And... it is snowing. Snowing since Saturday. Sunday was cool and sunny but Monday and yesterday and as I see it, today, are snowy. Not heavy like in NY, but snow!

And just so I can prove myself wrong (meaning, that I DO have some spine and I DO have some determination), here, I am turning the computer off and going to sit and review my German homework. Going to write down some rules and practice some more...
Here. Gone.

* Determination and hope

Easter Weeknd

2008-03-23T10:14:00.006+01:00

Easter today, I was about to write all I know about it. I still remember the wonderful lectures of the much admired professor David Kat"z, but now I decided to give up on it because it is not that interesting. Let's just say that it is the day Jesus came back from the dead, and the name, in Aramaic, means Passover.

M just woke me up, he spent the weekend with his parents and brother, I could not join because I had many things to do (I did nothing) and because the car was too small (long story). I spent my time alone with much joy (M did get offended when I said I had fun alone), however, it was all I needed, a few days alone. On Thursday I met Adi for Indian food and then we joined a Purim party at Oren's which is a friend of a friend. I knew some of the people and was happy to get to know new cool people. It was not a typical Purim party because it was spontaneous, yet we had fun and next weekend Oren will host a typical custom party!!! I want a blond wig.

If you do not know what Purim is, you can find about it here.
Kids love Purim. You get to dress up and get boxes with sweets (traditionally, they were sent to the poor people, but now you just exchange them in class etc). I was a Ballerina (with an amazing skirt with sparkling starts, I was an Indian with an amazing custom made by my dad, I was a clown, a pirate, a punk, a Stars Queen (do not ask), I was little red riding hood...I think that was the first custom that I remember but only because I have photos, I was 4.
All of Purim's photos were taken early Purim morning, by my parents, in our old neighborhood garden. In all of them I am with Alon. When I was little red riding hood, he was Chinese.
Yes yes. Some people dressed up like Chinese.

Growing up took the fun from the holiday. All girls want to be sluts, and dress like prostitutes. But what really killed my Purim were two of the most horrible suicide attacks in the history of Israel. Yes. In Purim. The suicide bombers love blowing themselves while people around them are partying, dressed up and happy.

March 4th, 1996, a suicide bomber blowing himself, with 14 more people, mainly kids and teens, on the crossing lines in front of Dizingof Center.The most crowded street in Tel Aviv.
Pieces of the people were all over the area; hanging from trees, smeared on walls.

*Coming Live: TERROR*

We watched it on TV, watched it with horror and disbelief. Although 1996 was a deadly year for us and successful year for the terrorists, the Purim attack was almost unbelievable.
That was when Purim turned to a sad holiday for me.
Way to go murderess! You killed me holiday as well.
Here is a site to one of the victims, Bat Chen, she was 15 when she died, she would have been 27 today.

This attack was not the only attack in Purim.
On March 6th, 1997, a year later, another Purim.
It is Ben Gurion street, a long street in Tel Aviv, very quiet, very calm, its two ends connect Dizingof and the area of the City Hall. A nice coffee shop, part of a chain, Apropo. A man, dark skinned, weird looking, heavily dressed is approaching the cafe, a ticking bomb, he is letting himself die and takes 3 women with him: Yael Gilad, Anat Rosen-Winter and Michal Meidan-Avarhami.
A whole nation cried her heart out while seeing the little baby of Anat Rosen Winter. Shani. She was 6 month old, dressed as a clown. Covered with her mother's blood. The mom who saved her life and died while doing so. The most famous pictures shows a policewoman carries the blood covered clown baby.
We wept for days.

Who was behind it? Arafat.
Yes. The big sneak who shook our hands for peace and then sent the terrorists.

Can you believe that Wiki in Hebrew offers a list of all the suicide attacks on Israel?
I hope an English version would come up soon (oh, the source is in English as well, from here).

Heavy? yes.
My reality? yes.

On Friday I cleaned the house and made it spotless like I love, then went for a walk and then met Nasti and Tobi on the traffic light then I was at Tobi's place eating these cool Russian pancakes that Nasti made (with Indian filling). We spent a nice afternoon and it was fun. I tried to study and do some work on Friday evening but ended up watching Germany's Next Topmodel and then the Israeli version.
Yesterday I woke up early , read a bit and decided to do some Sport, because the center is closed today and tomorrow. I decided to try Step Aerobic. What a mistake. BIG BIG mistake. The instructor was crazy, and everything was fast and she didn't explain anything and I was lost with all the steps, could not follow anything. I was so disappointed and decided to stay for Workout. Guess what... it was the same teacher. When I realized it, it was too late to run... I love Workout, but that session sucked. Coming home in a mild snow that didn't catch down, I made dinner and then... then, instead of Easter Fire (was cold and shitty weather) I watched 9 episodes from this really good Israeli show "מתי נתנשק" ("When will we kiss?"). I heard about it A LOT, but never had the chance to watch it. I was happy to find a really good original fun Israeli drama. Not living at home for a while I guess I am missing most of the cultural developments, I was surprise to see such a good thing. I have 3 more chapters for today :)

So, today is off and tomorrow, I must finish my German homework (I got tones of them) and then prepare stuff for Hebrew (we started last week, was nice and fun). I also need to help Peps with some Uni stuff and according to my "To-Do List" I need to fix my closet and write a letter to M's grandmother (I have a new fancy "To-Do List" notebook that M's parents bought me in Rome in a store that was established at 1264, "Fabriano").

The truth is:
I wanna do nothing...

Just like yesterday. I did nothing. And then felt guilty. Can't I just chill and do nothing without feeling bad about it? I had it a lot in NY, when I had some days off, I sometimes chilled extremely (manicure, Chinese takeout, reality shows on MTV) - however, I always felt guilty in a way. I need to work on it.

A good review on books about HAPPINESS, from the New York Book Review.

I finished "Night Train to Lisbon" (Pascal Mercier). I have no idea how M thoguht it is a good book. It is such a bad book. A gray boring man is going to look for the writer that enchanted his heart, in Lisbon. He leaves teaching and just goes there. It is such a fictional book and so many things made no sense (he communicates in Portuguese within a few hours of hearing it OR everyone speaks French - YA RIGHT) so many things are shallow (there was a Resistance to Salazar. That we got) so many things are just not reliable (every one opens there house for him, and their heart, he gets help from everyone). I am so wasting time even trying to review it now. Sorry, but this was one of the most boring books I have ever read. EVER.

Here is my Amazon review:

The most boring book EVER, March 23, 2008

By	Dorian Gray

I love books.
Really.
LOVE them. I read a lot, I enjoy reading and as a "reader" I never quit books half way. Which is a pity, because "Night Train to Lisbon" is one of the books I should have stopped reading within a few chapters. I just hopped it would get better. Unfortunately, it didn't.
This was a boring, dull, undeveloped, unrealistic piece of literature. Boring. As in "I wish this book would end already" (or "I wish the hero dies and this book would end already"). The hero is boring, the adventures are boring, not a single strand of sympathy with him, not a minor "caring" attitude. All it has to offer is cheap Philosophy and shallow history. That's all.

The book reminded me of another book about a book "The Shadow of the Wind", many things in common between the two novels, however, the latter is not the one that would aggravates you till you want to kick the person who bought it for you as a present.

Maybe some would find the book great (i.e. the person who bought me the book), however, for me it was a tough long, painful reading*.

* I also find the award winning best seller "Middelsex" DEAD BORING, I hated it.
So, maybe it is me and not the book.

-----

What else did I planned on writing:
Obama and McCain's visit to Israel, Bin Laden's new threats, the new coming Dutch movie about the Koran. I also want to share my sadness with the death of Arthur C. Clark last week. Yes, a weird bird but a damn good writer. Rest in peace and enjoy your space odyssey.
Most important I want to write about China and Tibet...
However, I am going to make some breakfast and start working on my homework, it is sunny today and although it is cold I would like to take a long walk later.

Did you hear about the new gadget from Amazon?

I signed in for Facebook.
Will probably deactivate the account soon.

Ok.
Enough bla bla.
The sun is shining!

Small addition:

Check Anne Hathaway's speech when getting an award from the HRC.

And so it is...

2008-03-15T17:50:00.003+01:00

When we moved to our new apartment, almost a year ago (in May), I came to know the guy who runs the Kneipe in my street. It is an old kind of shitty Kneipe, with old people drinking day and night. The guy who runs it, Duschon, an old Yugoslavian dude with a permanent smile, was always coming out to say hello when he saw me. He used to ask about Israel, my studies and work, and always invited me over for beer (or Diet Coke when I told him I don't drink beer).

Last Monday, when M and I came back from the movies, the Kneipe was closed and M told me that the door was sealed with Police banners. We thoguht something bad happened, but we didn't know anything and had no one to ask.

Today, after cleaning, I took my basket and went shopping (it's a tour: supermarket, Budni, the Bio store etc etc). I saw the Turkish guy from the neighborhood restaurant and asked about Duschon.

He had a heart attack and died.
Last Monday.

It made me so sad. I am still very sad. Wondering if he had family, if anyone knew about his health, how was his funeral.

I am sorry I never joined him for beer.

Dr. Randy Pausch - from Oprah

2008-03-12T23:34:00.003+01:00

This is one of the most amazing things I have ever watched. It touched my heart and it made me cry and I am planning to watch it over and over so I can learn from the smart words of Dr. Pausch.

Just 10 min's.
That's all you need.

Background: this is a professor who gave a lecture at his college, the lecture is titled "Your Last Lecture" and the tradition is asking to give a lecture like it is your last. In Dr. Pausch's case - it is his last lecture. He is dying from cancer.

On inner peace

2008-03-12T17:21:00.008+01:00

That I lack.

I spent my day reading the "Antisemitism and Modernity" book which I discusses in some other post. I learned so much from it, I am still learning, only on part III.

What I dealt with today was, mainly, the Antisemitism of two of the most famous figures of the modern time.

Luther, the father of the reformation and Voltaire, the, let's say, father of Enlightenment.

Back in their times there was no such term as Antisemitism. It was a simple and pure Jew Hatred. Luther, who started as a semi-philosemite, attacked in the beginning of his public career the Catholic church for its mistreatment of the Jews. No wonder that the Jews do not want to convert! all they see is the hatred from the Catholic church, thoguht Luther. Imagine his great disappointment that after the reformation which supposedly created a new better pure Christianity, the Jews still refuse to convert and stayed with their own religion. Luther became a madman, he attacked the Jews over and over, and even published a book "On the Jews and their Lies". Still a hero for millions of people, I guess we cannot take the reformation from him, but check what he offers in one of his essays:

"First their synagogues or churches should be set on fire... Secondly, their homes should likewise be broken down and destroyed... Thirdly, they should be deprived of their prayer books and Talmuds in which such idolatry, lies, cursing, and blasphemy are taught. Fourthly, their rabbis must be forbidden under threat of death to teach any more... I'd tear the tongues out of their throats. The Jews, in a word, should not be tolerated."

As the writer of the book, Hyam Maccoby, suggests: Luther pretty much put the infrastructure for almost every action taken later on by the Nazi regime.
Why is that important? because Maccoby's thesis is that no Antisemitism is without Christian roots.

Another great figure that Maccoby writes about is the notable scholar Voltaire. I must say that my Philosophical education is lacking some basic stones. All I know of Voltaire is what Professor Mali taught me in Tel Aviv university: The earthquake in Portugal made him a rational man and therefore he wrote Candid (which I had to read). I never knew that Voltaire was one of the leading figures in modern antisemitism. He attacked the Jews merciless, he criticized them mocked them, blamed them for almost everything. The interesting thing with Voltaire was that he mocked them for their backwardsness without admitting that it was centuries of banning them from any respectable profession that led them into the poor state they were in. There goes the rationalism...

Maccoby explains: the Jews were in a bad condition, primitive and backward, they were poor, and in a bad economic status because they were banned from 99% of the professions. However, as soon as the emancipation was introduced, they were doing as much as possible to get out of the gutter, it was a process that took time, still the antisemites from the Enlightenment kept arguing that even if the Jews will get equal rights they still won't be able to reach higher.
They were, of course, wrong.
Within less than a decay (and although it was hard) Jews were the leading top of almost every profession they practiced. It was not easy, for example, In Germany, emancipation was introduced after the Victory of Napoleon but as soon as he was defeated the Germans canceled his emancipating laws and the Jews had to go back to the middle ages... unless they converted (Like Karl Marx's dad who was a judge).

Let me quote:
"...and soon the complaint changed from allegations of Jewish backwardness to expressions of dismay about alleged Jewish monopolization of the professions".

(Antisemitism and Modernity: Innovation and Continuity, Hyam Maccoby, London, Routledge, 2006)

Voltaire antisemitic attitude is driven from his hate to Christianity, he thoguht that in order to fight Christianity he should attack Judaism and show how "Jewish" was Christianity, once he will be able to show connection between the two, so he thoguht, his war against the church will be won. Why? because in that way he will use the mass hatred and the negative image of the Jews against the church.

Lucky us Voltaire was not the only face of the Enlightenment movement, lucky us, there were people like Jean Jacques Rousseau and his great essay about the Jews ("Des Juifs"). However, it is a PDF so I cannot copy and also, I could not find it anywhere online in English. I urge you to look for it somewhere, and if you read French it would be much easier.

What did I learn today?
1. That there were always a few philo-semites who somehow tried to defend and protect the Jews and how much I wish to learn about them all.
2. Not all educated scholars/thinkers/philosophers were actually that enlightened and smart (Kant! even Kant!).
3. That at first I was pretty much convinced by Maccoby, that the roots of any given antisemitism, regardless of its time and faces and expressions, regardless of measures and actions and outcome, the roots are always religious. Christians even. HOWEVER - it is not a simple truth and not something that can be either or. Religion is still the driven force in the world but sometimes things only hide behind it, and no necessarily come from it.
4. Today I came to the idea that the only way to combat antisemitism for good (and no, creating a state for the Jews apparently did not solve the problem - for your information Herzel), the only way that I see so far is to bring on an Atheist Revolution in which Christianity and Islam will disappear and then people will not hate the Jews.

No, I am not serious, that would also bring on the end of Judaism. But seriously now, how can you get rid of a problem with religious roots? roots so deep that they reach continents, they over come great distances, they get older and older, they link old and young, wast and east, and yes, they wear new faces every time, how can you kill these deadly roots that seems to be there since the beginning of time? what do we do in order to prevent many more years of this cursed phenomena?

Maybe there is nothing we can do. No matter what we will do someone will find a reason to hate the Jews. Taken from history: when Jews were poor and backward they were hated for that. Although they made the Jews poor and backwards by closing them in ghettos and preventing Jews from every possible profession but Usurers.
They hated Jews for being Usuerers.
Then Jews were allowed to practice other professions and then they were hated for being at the top of the given profession. Then they were hated for being around, aliens in other counties. They were accused of poisoning the wells, of killing kids for blood, they were accused of not being loyal and ultimately they were accused of being a subhuman race that should be annihilated.

Yet, the Jews survived and the idea of Israel became reality, the Jews have their own place. One might think that finally people will get over their ideas and let us be. However, it doesn't work that way. Finally the Christian world gave up on its diabolic images of the Jews and guess who inherited them and took a few steps further. Yes, the baby brother, the Islam. How can the Protocols of the Elders of Zion be best seller in most of the Muslim countries? How can they hate me in places where there aren't even Jews? (hello Indonesia, hello Bangladesh - where anti-Israel demos are a regular thing).

So I did not write about inner peace. Because I have none. My inside is in a constant state of storm. Dark intimidating storms which sometimes paralyzed me and make me numb but sometimes make me active and lead me into engagements of endless thinking.

I read today that the religious sector in Israel is boycotting a supermarket chain that is opened on Saturday. I heard that the Yeshiva kids were screaming "Murderer" at the education minister. I heard they want to cancel bus lines which operates on Saturday, I heard they have sexual segregation in some buses in Jerusalem (so the religious horny people would not get tempted), I am hearing so many things about my coutry and can not explain how we ended where we are. I want to scream at my secular brothers and sisters "wake up because sleeping is suicide!!!" but then I realize where I am.
Somewhere in Europe.

Where primitive religious thoughts are kind of banned from the modern society, where people realized that it is 2008.

What can I do?
Just hope for some inner peace?

Rousseau, Voltaire and Luther.
All three images from WIKI.

You know that I am no good

2008-03-08T22:22:00.002+01:00

The title is from an Amy Winehouse song. I listen to her a lot lately as I already mentioned in a previous post. Something about her songs makes me happy and sad at the same time and the style is great.

Yesterday evening we were invited to a dinner at Limor's. There is a new guy in town and she want him to meet us, we also took Adi and went there for a lovely evening with cool food and cool people. My boos and his wife were there as well. I love my boss, and I love his wife and seeing the love between them after so many years together is such a beautiful thing. Limor's youngest daughter is the funniest little thing ever, I played cards with her and she was happy to see me after a long time. M surprised me and unlike the last times when he saw the little one and got scared (he got Kinderphobia) this time he was playing with her, and even let her comb his hair! She is in a German kindergarten and speaks really good German for a 4 years old. She was fluently talking with M which was so impressive.

On the way back home Adi asked how come I am not working for my company full time and why wouldn't they fix my with working visa. I said it is not that simple or easy. M and Limor think the opposite. M said, and I quote "You are not trying enough" (yes, 3 jobs is definitely not trying enough) . Limor said she thinks I need to make up my mind and I she is sure I will be able to get work permit from the company.

I just think that they do not understand that I am not sure I wanna work there full time. Of course, I am sick of being broke and this month is horrible because I need to pay the next semester's tuition which is 250 euro and also 2 dentists bills which I already wrote about and I have the health insurance etc etc. It's the 7th of the month today and my account is almost on 0.
Yes. I know. It is my fault. However, this job is not something I am yet willing to give up my PhD for. It is not like there is a magical position waiting for me (nope, this one is gone to the new Israeli girl that was hired).

M just left, to Adi, the new guy will join and they will have some drinks and go to some party. I, on the other hand, will sit here alone in the dark. No. It is OK, I didn't want to join. I cleaned the apartment today and made cool dinner (Haloumi Salad!) and did some laundry and really not in the mood right now for beers and cigarettes and a party with, probably, 25+ years old. I would go and do some reading soon and maybe will sleep early.

Sport Report:
(please hum the "Rocky" theme)

This week was good.

Cardio and Workout on Monday, Nia on Tuesday, BBRP and Pilates on Thursday and Pilates and Nia yesterday. Tomorrow, hopefully, BBRP and Workout. It is a lot, but I see how my body has changed and still changing and the stupid thing is that I am still on "sweets diet" (not really, but I do eat lots of junk), by now I pretty much replaced most of my fat with muscles and it makes me happy. I just need to keep going like that. Must. And I also wish to cut the junk because I have the feeling it would lead to better results.

I helped Peps with one of her papers today, about Sri Lanka, she did a good job, I am proud in her, she writes great papers.

Just to balance the paper editing, I watched the Israeli "models" show and it was followed by the German version. I was trying to calculate how many brain cells I killed but I killed so many and can not do math any more.

Yesterday after Nia and before Limor's I went to have coffee with a Nia friend. It was nice, getting coffee after class in the cool center where the club is. We talked a bit, she is a PR person, but did mainly journalism and advertisement. Tonight I had a dream that I do PR for the environment. It probably came because she said I should find something that I am passionate about and try work with it. However, I am not that passionate about the environment as I should or want. Was weird. Maybe my dreams tell me the future. (NOT). I told her I am waiting for people to "find" me, she said it is a common thing, she did it for awhile, but no one will come to me and say "HEY! you are such a wonderful communicative person, come work for me and earn lots of money".
But I am waiting.
Still.
The Angel from Berlin (hope you had a good party) said I will wait forever.

Some good news, I got an email from Professor Huttenbach who kind of disappeared and scared me. He is doing fine, teaching a seminar at Columbia. I miss him.

I started organizing my next Hebrew classes, 2 of them, the advance and the beginners level II. Both will start within a few weeks.

What else? I guess nothing much. The days are getting longer, it is still cold but I can feel that the darkness comes late.

I am reading a book "The Jewish Dog" (Asher Kravitz), a very hallucinatory book about a dog who belongs to a Jewish family in Berlin, in Hitler's time, and how he sees the events from the point of view of a Jewish dog. His name is Coresh. The dog.
For instance, he was always sad when his owner took him for a walk but left him outside while having coffee with friend in a cafe. But then there was a new sign saying no entrance for Dogs and Jews and the dog was happy not to be left alone outside. On the other hand he could not understand why can't they go to the park anymore. I received the book from my boss' wife, never heard about it before. It is an interesting idea, I hope to finish it tonight.

I also want to finish "Night Train to Lisbon" (Pascal Mercier). M bought it for me for XMAS and all I can say about it right now (chapter 10) is that it is a stupid book about a stupid professor who finds a stupid book and takes the stupid night train to stupid Lisbon to meet the stupid guy who wrote the stupid book. Yes, I tease M about it all the time. The book is just so a-dimensional, I did not develop any sympathy to the "hero" and find it hard to read it. Like, I do not care what will happen later. Promise to update once I am done with it. Also, in some ways, the book reminds me of "The Shadow of the Wind".

Something interesting that I have read:
From "The New York Review of Books"
The Charms of Wikipedia

I also want to put a link to an article in Haaretz about two books that deal with the"greenness" of the Nazi party but for some reason I cannot find the article anymore.

Not a word from me about the massacre of the students in the Yeshiva in Jerusalem on Thursday. Not a word because I cannot. Because I cannot take it anymore.

OK, my nail polish is finally dry (dark dark brownish red), going to brush my teeth and then to read in bed.

------

Just an idea:

How many of the people I know,around my age, are in the same situation as I?

Meaning, how many are single/not married, no kids, no career, no money and absolutely no idea what to do next?

I can count at least 10!
What does it mean? did we all do the same mistakes? or the world has changed?

What do you think?

------

I think Simon and Garfunkel are appropriate right now:

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island

(And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries)

Good Night!

People

2008-03-05T17:58:00.004+01:00

I have to pay my dentists' bills. The first one who was a horrible mistake of mine charged me more than 180 euro for a treatment that was bad and cost me more because I had to go to a different dentist that would fix the other's stupid service. I must pay it because I am in Germany. Otherwise I would not. If I could speak the language well I would call them and tell them what a horrible service they gave me and that I refuse to pay. The thing is that they did something that is not covered by my insurance so in addition I would have to pay them out of my own pocket.

The second dentist was much better, fixed the firsts job and charged me less. I should have gone to her from the first place but I was stupid enough not to.

I met a wonderful lady today. Her name is Peggy Parnass, she is a writer and a journalist, she was also an actress and she is a friend of Hanno, one of my students. She received an arbitrary of a good friend from Israel that died and asked me to translate it for her. The gentleman who died, Yechezkel Avni, was what we call "מלח הארץ" meaning, the Salt of the Earth (coming from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount: "...the salt of the earth and the light of the world"). I read the eulogy letters to her out loud and felt like I am about to cry.

What a wonderful man he was Mr. Avni. What a fulfilling life with actions and deeds and contribution to Israel.

Peggy was great. She is an old woman already but lives full exciting life. We were sitting in the Jewish Cafe (cannot discuss it now,,, maybe I would write about it some other time) that contains a book store and she got up took a few books from the shelves (I didn't know yet she was such a prolific writer), I am talking about 5-6 books. She told the lady whose in charge that it's her books and she would like to have them displayed in a better place. Then she signed them and gave them back to the lady. I thoguht it was great.

After having a wonderful afternoon with Peggy and Hanno, I went to meet Imke. Imke is leaving me, again, for a month in Auschwitz. I love talking to her and meeting her and she is right, I should do it more often. We always had something going on that didn't allow us to meet. I talked with her for an hour, got her smart advice and her cool words and her motivation. She is almost done with her Phd, she writes articles, she leads youth groups and educates about the Holocaust, she researchs in Auschwitz, she travels the world, she lectures in conferences... she is younger than me and doing things I want to do. She is so focused and dedicated and extremely smart and interesting and I love her for being my friend. She listened to me bitching without judgment, without criticism, only with an attempt to help and guide and provide some insights.

I left Imke and went to get some cake for M who told me he is feeling sick and leaving the library to go home. Oh! talking about M... My M is not the M who replies with comments, he never does. The M that replies is the African/British M. I sometimes wonder how many people get confused but then I realize that less than 10 people who care read this blog so... egal :)

And I am saying it for a reason, out of 150 weekly visitors, only 10-15 intentionally come here to read, the rest get here, somehow, with the kind help of Mr. Google.

Talking about Google, Peps just introduced me to this.
It is crazy.
It is so cool and a bit addictive.
Be careful!

I had a cool Nia class yesterday, and I even scheduled with my Nia friend for coffee on Friday after class. She works in PR and I do want to sit and hear what do I need to do to get out there. I know I was born with the word PR on my forehead. I just thoguht it meant "Permanent Reader".

I am going home in 2 months and a few days. And man, I cannot wait. Cannot. Cannot. Must get out of here, need some sun and warmth and Israeli food, need Peps and dying to meet Gil, need to spend hours on the beach reading books. DYING. I don't think I ever missed home as much as I miss it lately. Not even when I lived in NYC (well, you know, NYC).

I want to open an Israeli restaurant here in Hamburg.
Any investors willing to invest the basic capital for this idea? I want to serve Shakshuka, and Pitas, freshly made, home made salads and good Falafel. I want to serve Israeli breakfast with omelets and cheese, and Jahnoon and Malawach. I see how busy is the Jewish Cafe, everyday, any time, I am sure an Israeli restaurant would be successful.

Oh! almost forgot, Matthias Küntzel published a book and is now touring the USA. You can read about his book, or read his articles or read about the coming tour HERE.
The book is titled "Jihad and Jew-Hatred", I did not read it yet but I love the fact he used Jew-Hatred and not Antisemitism (which is the wrong term and a euphemism of a Pre-Nazi thinker).

And that's it for now!

Too Long...

2008-03-01T13:57:00.002+01:00

A week off from work went by so fast. I did not really do a lot or did not do as much as I planned. My regular routine was enough and I find myself study, oh, wait, I find myself trying to study most of the time but not getting much out of it.

When I finally set my ass down it was to find out that the E Book I was working on ("Antisemitism and Modernity" by Hyam Maccoby, a brilliant British professor - 2004) was not suitable anymore to my stupid stupid Acrobat Reader. Note for next time: do not upgrade Adobe while working on an E Book. Now, according to the UNI library, I need to wait for the book period to expire (next Wednesday) and re borrow it.
Did I mention it is an E Book?

I did lots of sport this week, Nia on Tuesday was not that cool but yesterday was great!
I am planning on going to BBRP soon and then cardio.
Maybe not, because it is toooooooooooooooooo windy and stormy (see how easy it is to find excuses?)

I did, finally, go to the Driving Authority and converted my driving license, I am supposed to pick it up in 3 weeks. The whole experience there was overwhelming. I was expecting long lines, mean officials who would have no patience for the foreigner who cannot speak German very well and other horrors. Instead... I arrived fast (I thoguht it was far away somewhere outside the city), I asked where to go, they told me, I asked which room, they gave me a number, I looked at the electric board, it was MY number. I entered, gave everything I had, paid 35 Euro and was told by the nicest lady ever that within 3 weeks it should be there. Defiantly an event going into the list of "Why Do I Love Germany?" (the list gets longer with time).

On Wednesday I attended a lecture that was organized by the German United Nation Society of the university which M is a member of. The lecturer, a professor from Columbia Uni, Edward Luck, he is currently the head of a new UN project: Responsibility to Protect (R2P).

From the website:

"The Responsibility to Protect populations from genocide, ethnic cleansing, war crimes and crimes against humanity is an international commitment by governments to prevent and react to grave crises, wherever they may occur. In 2005, world leaders agreed, for the first time, that states have a primary responsibility to protect their own populations and that the international community has a responsibility to act when these governments fail to protect the most vulnerable among us".

He was talking about this ambiguous concept; the idea is great but as he said it would take time and there are billions of obstacles on the way that would prevent the individual or the society to be engaged in taking some responsibility to protect others.

In the Q&A session there were some Kosovars who asked interesting questions and some crazy people, you know them, they ask question in order to be heard. And then I asked my question that had to do with the Criteria that would determinate when would the R2P will intervene after a country failed to cope with crisis alone and also about the level of cooperation with the sovereignty. It seemed that the professor was impressed, he asked me if I am studying in order to open a R2P center in Israel, I said I would do it without thinking :) At least he looked very happy about my question and answered it with length.

So, here I am, a 31 year old WASTE of a person, sitting in an interesting lecture and not knowing why the hell am I not doing anything with my life?! Looking back at my past I got mad for not trying harder in NYC when I lived there (who am I kidding? I did not try at all). Not trying harder today, I need some kind of a wake up call because the time that passes is not passing slower or backward, it's passing full time ahead, in full speed.

Nevermind!

I read an article about the hard way of Barak Obama with the Jewish American voters. Read it once, then again, then I could see why people hate Jews. Then I could understand why people tell me that we rule the USA and that we are behind the scenes pulling strings for controlling everything. This article is bad, bad for Jews, bad for Obama and bad for every American who believes in his democracy.

Let me quote (all from the above article):

"...Mr. Obama has also faced criticism over remarks he made about the suffering of Palestinians — remarks he says were incorrectly reported — and about who is advising him on foreign affairs."

Meaning? He is not allowed to show sympathy with the Palestinians? We did kill 30 of them today (oh well, they should stop shouting missiles on Israelis cities at once!).

"...Jews make up about 1.7 percent of the adult population, but they are a stronghold of the Democratic base and important to the party’s fund-raising."

And also:

"...Over all, Jews made up 5 percent of the voters when more than 20 states voted on Feb. 5"

Can you believe the really low numbers? Jews were also less than 1 percent of the population in Germany before the Holocaust.

Am I apologizing for being part of a nation that for some reason it tiny but strong?
Not really.
I am just trying to understand it.

Look at this:

"...E-mail messages circulating about Mr. Obama’s untrustworthiness assert that the former national security adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski and diplomat Robert Malley, figures loathed by many Jews, are top advisers to his campaign."

Can someone actually claim that Brzezinski (the National Security Adviser during the Carter Admin in the late 70's beginning of the 80's) is loathed by many Jews?! I mean, did the article writer asked every Jew in the USA and then made up this horrible line? Loathed he wrote! Like it is a small minor emotion. I am thinking maybe he decided that the many Jews do not like Brzez because he is kind of the counter partner to Kissinger. Oh man I hope it is wrong.

And then the article goes saying that:

"...Many Jews have expressed concern about Mr. Obama’s minister, Mr. Wright of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. In an article in The Jerusalem Post that is being circulated on the Internet, Marc Zell, co-chairman of Republicans Abroad in Israel, described Mr. Wright as “well known for his virulent anti-Israel remarks.”

And then, out of the blue, like it is some kind of a higher intervention that says the final word about whose good or bad:

"The ADL, however, has said that it has found no evidence of anti-Semitism on Mr. Wright’s part.".

And guess what? it is all about Israel. And I am worried that because the American Jews cannot ignore Israel for a second, the head of the sick monster that already caused death for millions of Jews will rise again... Did you know that one of the first Antisemitic claims was that "Jews are antisocial and can never cooperate with the rest of humanity" (I think it was claimed by the Historian Tacitus but I might be wrong and as mentioned before cannot access the book in order to look for it) which makes them bad citizens for every political system. Jews, according to many contemporary Antisemits, are loyal to their tribe and the country of their tribe but not to the country where they are citizens.

Impressing to find out how things did not change from the Hellenistic time till today.

You see what happen? I start researching again and go crazy over things.
Maybe I am making a mistake?

New words that I learned while reading Maccoby's book:

* Demiurge is a word, from Greek, meaning Creator
* Deicide is the term to describe the killing of God (Dei and Cide like Homocide or Suicide!)

On Thursday I met my boss's wife for coffee, it's weird story that got to do with friend's car and a crazy garage owner. We ended up in a nice Italian Cafe and talked for hours. What an amazing woman! She told me about her parents history (Holocaust survivors) and I was amazed to find out her mom survived Auschwitz, and her name is Katie, like juts my Katie from NYC and her dad survived Mauthuasen, just like William... They are/were Czechoslovakians too.

I tried working on my new project yesterday and research the whole day about Mauthausen. The most brutal working camps in the history of the Nazis, my research took me too far for one day and I find myself not being able to process all the information:

Dachau's prisoners built Mauthausen-Gusen.
There was a car with a tube inside who operated as a portable gas chamber.
Many of the Polish who were arrested in the A B operation were brought there.
The camp is next to Hartheim Castle, a Nazi Euthanasia Killing Center.
In 1942 Himmler ordered to open a whore house for the capo's of Mauthausen-Gusen.
Mauthausen was a good example for the Nazi slogan: "Vernichtung durch Arbeit" - "Annihilation through work"
They had a stone quarry and prisoners had to climb 186 steps with heavy weight. The Nazis like to throw victims to the bottom of the quarry... parachuters with no parachutes.
286 Czechoslovakians survived the camp.
William was one of them.
Another survivor was the Austrian Jew, Simon Wiesenthal - the famous Nazi Hunter.

We saw "No Country for Old Men" yesterday. The movie that broguht the Cohn brothers some Oscars. I knew nothing abut the movie but find myself waiting for Tommy-Lee Jones. guess what, he appeared there! I was like, wow, not really surprized see you Mr. Jones. The movie was tough, bloody, hard, made me sick. Trozdem, it was an excellent movie. Javier Bardem was a great psycho.

The movie made me want to ride in a convertible through the deserts of South USA. Arizona and New Mexico, Texas... all these names that for a former New Yorker, who never left NYC, mean the other side of the USA. The other very different side of the USA.

And with this I will end.
Going to work out, or not, the wind is like, and let me quote Juno "like, dude, no".
Making Shakshuka tonight, we invited some friends over.

Sometimes I feel like I need to be saved but sometimes I know that only me can save me.

Jimmy Kimmel is fighting back...

2008-02-26T19:57:00.001+01:00

Dinner, Dreams and Workout.

2008-02-24T18:14:00.005+01:00

Yesterday Adi picked me up at noon and we went to buy food for our dinner. We spent almost 3 hours in the supermarket and then went to his place, organized it a bit and I started preparing food. I made Pasta salad with Pesto, red pepper, goat cheese and roasted pine nuts. I made a Mozzarella, dried tomatoes and fresh basil salad, I made a mushrooms, corn and rucola salad. I also made oven baked potatoes with onions and garlic. We bought lots of really goooooooooooood cheese and fresh ciabattes, we had all kind of olives and pesto pastes and lots of red wine. Limor brought a chocolate cake that was amazing and we ate and ate and ate.

It was a wonderful evening with nice interesting people and cool atmosphere. I had a lot of fun and now Adi and I are prepering a theme party. Coming soon!.

I went to bed late, read some Oprah fell asleep and had a nightmare:

I was sleeping and then it got extremely cold, so cold that I knew someone opened the window. I was shivering and then my soul left my body and started moving towards the bed room door.

At this point my heart was racing and I was screaming to myself insdie my head "WAKE UP!!!". And I did. Could not calm down for awhile, I was so overwhelmed and cannot really explain what scared me so much. I could not fall asleep for awhile and when I did I had another nightmare. And then another, and another. Scheisse, I barely slept!

At noon today I went to my sport club. I did the world famous BBRP which was hard today and then met a friend from work (the girl who told me about this Sport Club) and we did another Workout session together. Was even harder. When I came back home I could not even climb the stairs because I was so exhausted. Still am.

M was back home when I arrived and we went voting for the municipal elections. I did not vote of course. M was smiling and happy and now he told me that Der Spiegel published the results and he was very disappointed. It seems that the current mayor will stay the mayor.

A week of not working is ahead of me. I am looking forward for it, mainly because when I will come back to work I might have a new duty with a lot of work, which would be harder and annoying. I need to convert my driving license this week. Work on my German homework, workout, clean the house (the horror, the horror) and the highlight of this week... I am supposed to spend time working on my thesis. I wish Imke was here to guide me but she went to Krakow, again... and my doktorvater is away as well (somewhere in Central Asia).

All alone am I.

I have a new idea for a novel. Yes yes, another one, added to the millions of other ideas that I either never developed or started to write and stopped after 4 chapters. This one is really exciting and my dad said it's a fascinated idea, and my dad knows good themes for novels when he sees one. I will try writing this week as well.

I am reading about the UN announcement for 2009 World Conference Against Racism.
Known also as Durban II.

For those of you who were away on a long vacation on an isolated island I will remind:
Durban I - in 2001, where Israel was lynched, slaughtered, degraded and humiliated. Finally, a decision was made, ONLY against Israel, condemning us for the way we treat the Palestinians.
The new conference is already a mess. Canada who was one of the only 3 countries to criticize the hypocrisies of the 2001 conference, announced that it would not take part in the 2009 conference.
Thank you Canada!
Israel would not participate as well.
Smart decision.

Oscar's night tonight, not having a TV and living in a different time zone makes me give up the idea of watching it live. I used to watch it live all my life... either stayed up all night when living in Israel or taking days off when living in NYC. An Israeli movie is nominee for the Foreign Movie award - I haven't seen him so not sure if it's worth the prize...

Alma and I made lists of things we miss from NYC, I pick bubble tea from China town, shopping at Victoria's Secret and having Chipottle... I talk with Katie last week and she was happy to hear me and kept telling me I should come over and stay at her house. I only need like, lots of money, and ya, I will go.

And this is it for now,
Wishing you all a great week!

Saturday

2008-02-23T11:44:00.003+01:00

Nia was nice yesterday. Limor joined with her friend and find the class to be fun and cool. I must say it was not the best Nia I have been to so for, but it was a cool class. I stayed for Nia Floorplay (with my new Turkish friend) and then went home a bit happier. It was so cold and windy.

Pepsa went home after a long time she haven't visit our parents. She said they made food for an army platoon. I know my parents missed her a lot, but she is so busy with the university work and regular work and can not really go over the weekend. They went to the beach, she said the water were very cold but it was nice and warm outside. Sunny. I like swimming when it is really cold, it can be a hard thing but you must go inside the water and within a few seconds jump your head in, and then you do not really feel the cold.

Adi came over for dinner yesterday, I made Mejadara which is rice and linsen (what's linsen in English?!), It was OK, I also fried lots of onions and served it with Presley yogurt that I made. We were talking for hours, over two bottles of wine. After midnight Adi left and M decided he would go out. Although he was sick and not feeling good for two days, although I haven't seen him the whole week, although it was late and windy and cold and we already had lots of wine.
I did not like the idea and definitely didn't want to go out with him. I took a shower and went in bed, watched the excellent scientific reality show "The Models". I am not sure why I like it so much but I do.

M arrived back within 30 minutes. Still not sure why he decided that going out at 1 at night when you feel sick is not a good idea... There are some things that women know better...

We just finished a nice breakfast. There is something magical in the simplicity of hard boiled egg with toast and butter. Soon Adi will come to pick me up and we will go shopping for tonight's dinner at his place. He want to host a dinner and I invited 10 people that I know (he is new to the city). We are going to make nice salads and buy cool cheese and wine etc.

M is going to his parents today, it is his mom's birthday, a big event in the family. I thoguht about joining but it is a short visit and I think he would rather go alone. He will be back tomorrow because he must vote for the municipal election.

Sad voices...

2008-02-22T16:14:00.004+01:00

I am trying to write a post. But I am too sad.
Before, I was sitting in the living room, M next to his studying desk:
Me: Hmmmmmmmiiiiiiiii..... NiiiHhhhiiiiiiii...
M is ignoring me.
Me: Hmmmmmmmiiiiiiiii..... NiiiHhhhiiiiiiii...
M: What are you singing there?
Me: I am not singing, I am making sad voices.

If I was home:

I would go to my parents, get freshly baked homemade Burekasim. After a long negotiation with my dad I would take half of the weekend paper and go to the beach. I will lay down, in the sun, reading, eating, maybe drinking Ice Coffee from Aroma. I will go swimming every now and then. I will take Skippy for long walks on the water... he would fight with every dog he would see. I will let the sun caress my body and blow warm wind into my hair... my body will be exposed to the warmth, to the light, to the almost non-existent wind. I will stare at the horizon... far away over there is the Indian Ocean. Egypt to my right, Jordan to my left.
I will let the sun empower me with energy and at the same time I would let her drain and exhaust me. Completely.

And here? Here is it cold, windy and gray.
It is Friday and doesn't feel like it.
The house is a mess, the refrigerator is empty, nothing was cooked.
No weekend edition in a language I can read.
It doesn't feel like a weekend.

Skippush and me in happier days...

I am reading that and cannot understand the stupidity behind it:
"hundreds of protesters in Belgrade... set fire to the US Embassy in protest over Kosovo's declaration of independence"

I also read that and it made me cry:
"People from across Israel arrive in rocket-battered town to do their Shabbat shopping, show their support for residents"

This is the Israel that I love and proud being part of.
Sderot is being under attack from the Gaza Strip on a daily basis for a very long time now.

Just not happy.

I am going to NIA soon, taking Limor with me.
I also took a week off from work next week.
Because I can and because I need it.
I need it badly.

Being sick - Part II

2008-02-16T11:21:00.008+01:00

Being sick ist Scheisse.

First, I could not go to my sport and missed Nia yesterday. In return for not doing sport I ate bullshit for 2 days now (Pizza and chocolate).

Second, I am bored. I am so bored that I watched a few movies online (Thank you Angelika - she gave me links and now I spend my time looking for active links for Sweeney Todd!) and I also watched the first 2 chapters of the Israeli show "The Models" which is as shallow as the water in the wadi next to my house in Eilat. No water at all.

Being sick makes me missing a friend's birthday breakfast right now and I do not think that I will attend the party I am invited to tonight although it would probably be a cool party (with two of my favorite gay people!). Na Ja.

Blah.

I watched Cloverfield and I Am Legend yesterday.

Both are apocalyptic movies about kind of the end of the world. Both are taking place in New York. Living in New York makes all these movies a bit annoying. I know... It is after all only a movie but it is sad indeed to see the place where you used to chill for hours (Washington Sq. Park) goes on fire.

I liked both the movies. They are no masterpieces yet, they were not bad. Cloverfield is another jam of J.J Abrams, the guy who brought us "LOST". In the movie, a group of young people is trying to make her way to midtown, to Columbus Circle, to rescue one of the girls who SMSed them for help. There are monsters all over, they kill and infect people, they attack and the destroy and New York is no more than another New York on another September 11. Soldiers, deadpeople, rumble, dust, papers are flying in the air. People look desperately for their love ones. Did I mentions that it all being taped on a video camera by one of the people in the group? Oh, the headache. It was like watching NYPD at the beginning.

I Am Legend is based on the same idea, the end of the world is near and New York is the playground, or as Will Smith's character calls it "It's my ground Zero". So they thoguht that they cured cancer, but instead the infected the world with some weird airborne virus that immediately killed 90% of the world (which is 5.4 Milliard people), out of the 10% that were left, only 1% was immune to the virus.

It's 2012, Dr. Robert Neville is living in NYC with his dog Sam. And that's it. All alone he spends more than 3 years, trying to call for survivors to come and be helped by him (his place is well equipped). He also tries to fight the infected people who cannot be exposed to the sun which leaves him pretty secure during day light. He tries to find a cure for the virus, he tries to have a conversation with a mannequin in a DVd store, he tries not to lose his mind, he tries not to forget about his family, he tries to maintain a routine that would save him, he also sings Marley...
No worries, no spoiler.

After watching these two catastrophe movies I was thinking that the world does not need these futuristic horror fiction. We need cool cute movies with sun and flowers and happy people. It is hard to see the explosion of the bridges to Manhattan. It is hard to see the head of the Liberty Lady rolls in Soho.

Afterwards I watched Juno, Juno is a small Indie movie, about a teenager who gets pregnant. Nothing more. Nothing less. Was great. Acting was brilliant and I enjoyed it a lot.

Today on my list:
Sweeney Todd
Across The Universe
Harry Potter V

I need to work on my German homework. Not sure if it would happen today.

Oh, and look at that!!!
I was so so so so happy, tears in my eyes :)

May 22nd, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

( what the fuck is Shia LaBeouf is doing there?! never liked that guy).

And for other topics:

I started my day with reading Ha'aretz and the Washington Post.
Ha'aretz wrote a good piece about Tom Lantos:

"Tom Lantos, the Democratic congressman from California, the lone Holocaust survivor serving in the House of Representatives, died on Monday."

WashPost pulished a beautiful gallery, a Day in Photos, from yesterday:

15.2.08

Not bad at all, colorful, sad, real.

Enough with this oversensitivity.

Valentine's Day... Mmmmm no, it is not like we care. But I did create a wonderful Powerpoint presentation for M. I am not allowed to publish it here because it might jeopardize his security (long story, in which I am not allowed to put his photos because maybe some killer Muslims will recognized him). The PPT was basically many photos of us, kissing in NYC, kissing in Eilat, kissing in Rome, and basically kissing all over Germany. It came out cute and lovely, mainly because this is the song that I put as a soundtrack:

Yes, I am still in the "I love Amy Winehouse" Phase.

(The album version is a bit nicer)

Another thing that Bloggers might like is the next review from The New York Review of Books:
It's a review about books that deals with blogs and their influence on our culture, business, politics and everyday life.

Oh, and here is Indie, one more time... :)

Sick again

2008-02-14T20:19:00.004+01:00

I am sick of being sick!

Lover Lover Lover Lover Lover...

2008-02-10T20:44:00.001+01:00

Why am I quoting a line from a Leonard Cohen's song?
(From "New Skin For An Old Ceremony")

Because on Friday Sweet M. got us tickets to a play; "Songs From A Room", a production of the Schauspielhuas of Hamburg. It was a musical play, telling, in German, the story of a guy who wakes up in a hotel room with a weird made to experience important stations of his life and among them to make cool rocky or softy covers to Leonard Cohen's masterpiece songs.
The first one he was screaming was Lover Lover Lover Lover...

I asked my father,
I said, "Father change my name."
The one I'm using now it's covered up
With fear and filth and cowardice and shame.

Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me...

The play was wonderful, I enjoyed it a lot; It was very Pink Floydish in a way:

This is the main actor, he was excellent and man he can sing. (photo from here)

***************

Another busy week ended. This week was dedicated to busting my ass at my sport club. The name is SportSpass, it's a club that offers sport for 8 Euros a month, there are more than 100 courses per week and they offer them in different places all over the city. I go to the one whose the closest to my house.

I already started two weeks ago but during the party week last week I could not really move... So... I went to Sportspass 6 times this week, and did two sessions each time. I took Cardio and Workout, and Nia and Nia floor (wait, I got so many things to write about Nia...), on Wednesday I took BBRP and Cardio again and on Thursday I took Pilates and it was not bad at all and then I stayed for Qi-Gong and because it was so good I stayed for Tai-Chi (which was hard!), on Friday I took Pilates and Nia again and yesterday, after cleaning the house (which was a mess!!!) I made it right on time for Cardio and BBRP.

All these names... BBRP is the intials for Bauch Beine Ruecke and Po - in English: Belly, Legs, Back and Ass. It is as hard as it sounds. 50 Min's of killing every gram of fat that exists in these areas, killing them till it burns... till you cannot go on anymore.

Cardio is crazy as well, the heart rate it going banana and you basically move your ass for the whole session. On Pilates I do not need to write, I can just say that I used to do it in NYC for a while with DVD's but never did it in a group and it was not bad at all.

Qi-Gong is being explained better in WIKI:

...is an aspect of traditional Chinese medicine, some forms of which involve the coordination of different breathing patterns with various physical postures and motions of the body. Qigong is mostly taught for health maintenance purposes, but there are also some who teach it as a therapeutic intervention or practice it as a medical profession.

I enjoyed that one a lot because it didn't require so much coordination and it was calming and of course that I like to stare at myself in the mirror while moving. Then, I tried Tai-Chi.

Mmmmm... what a hard thing! There is this routine that you need to learn and the teacher was nice enough to realize we were more than a few beginners so she showed us the basic routine over and over... it was not easy and it requires a high level of concentration and a lot of coordination and oh man I lack them both; I still enjoyed it very much!

And now comes NIA.
NIA is amazing.
Really.

AMAZING
AMAAAAAAZING

So far it is one of the coolest happiest thing I have ever done!
I took it 3 times already, always a double session, both the teachers are nice and cool and I even made new friends there. I cannot really explain what we do there but it is such a happy and enjoyable movement, I can dance and jump and move and work out and all while having cool music and a mixture of everything possible (WIKI does explains it better...).

I think that Nia is wonderful for me mainly because it does let you develop the movement skills and as a girl who never took dancing but always loved moving I don't have the grace or smooth way of moving or even flexibility. Nia is so not judgmental, so free and loving and energetic and I declare it as my new hobby.

Here what I find about it in some other website:

...Nia is done barefoot to music and delivers cardiovascular and whole-body conditioning. Because Nia is self-guided and based on creating a loving relationship with the body and following The Body’s Way – the innate intelligence of the body — it is adaptable and safe for any fitness level, from stiff beginners to highly fit athletes.

After Friday's lessons I called Limor who is lacking energy lately and told her she MUST join me this week. I was in such high from it, I think the feeling of 'high', the feeling of adrenalin and mainly the smile that comes with NIA that are making it all addictive...

By the way, I started writing this post at noon and now it's 20:00, we went to have brunch with Eike and Adi, the sun was shining like it didn't shine for ages, the weather was a bit cold but wonderful so we spent the day walking, taking ferries and having fun. We ended at Adi's for Muffins and now we are home...

I am trying to think what else took place this week but the Sport covers it all. Almost. I went to the dentist, again, had the one before last Hebrew session and taught them Hanna Scenesh's poem "הליכה לקיסריה", I also had nice English sessions. Nothing much.

Oh! I learned from here to make Origami Cranes. Cranes represent health, long life and peace in Japanese culture and I am thinking about making 1000; a well known thing when making cranes (1000 for peace, or for health). I already made 5, and Eike made 1. I will update you on the project and will try take pictures. It's such a fun thing to do. Eike decided I should let the kids at the English session made some :)

(photo from here)

I wanna report a bit more about my diet. I did work my ass this week but I also lived on bullshit; sugars and carbs mainly. I did not eat any cooked food the whole week and only yesterday had some Quinoa and veggies in the wok. I must work on my eating habits but I am not sure where to start. I am re thinking about going vegan again (M is screaming NNOOOOOO - he find out there is less than 1% vegetarians in Germany and decided it is not a good place to be one, and defiantly not a good place to be a vegan).

So, let me summarize this long messy post:

Sportspass is good for me. Extremely good.
Sun makes me happy. Very happy.
Sweet M's idea about L. Cohen's play was excellent. Really.

And the last item deals with Amy Winehouse. I am deeply in love with her album "Back to Black". He voice is so unique, her style is great, the songs are good and she is pissing me off because I have the feeling she would overdose soon. What a shame.

It is impossible

2008-02-04T16:48:00.000+01:00

That I am finding excuses not to do sport (dentist appointment, PMSing, cold, depressed and many more which got nothing to do with the actual sport).

It is impossible that I am not working on my studies.
It is impossible that I do not read enough, and do not write enough, and a month after my famous new years resolutions list I can frankly say that I do nothing from what I promised myself.

It's hard when close people let you down, but it is so much harder to let yourself down.

Are my parents disappointed at me for not living my potential? I wonder how many people who know me well look at me and see a waste of a talent, a waste of energies.

M called before, I told him about the dentist visit, also told him I am down, and sad, and cold and not in the mood. He chose to say "OK", and knowing him I just added 3 more studying hours to his schedule. He is not dealing very well with emotional Israeli women, or with emotions, or with Israelis, or with women.

I am joking.

Last night I read Oprah, a sad story on a mother that her little baby was waiting a heart transplant. He received it too late and died. I was crying rivers while reading it. I need to take a course "Dealing with other people misery 101".

It's 17:00, I am going to my workout at 19:00, not because it would make me happy, not because it is important, just because I hate letting down myself...

Half of my face is numb from the dentist (in Hebrew face is plural, I want to write "half of my face are numb").

The movie last night (which is NOT an Oscar nominee as the Angel from Berlin announced in her comment), was slow and kind of boring but had beautiful Egyptian Arabic, like my Nona's. It made me miss her telling me "Ya Rohi". I didn't think it was such a big deal but the rest liked it so it doesn't matter. We all went to have a nice dinner afterwards. I am not sure how good it is that my Hebrew students are becoming my friends but I do not think that I am capable of separating between teaching and living and these people are so nice and interesting and I am having so much fun with them!

And as we say in Hebrew, I was here...